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Relocation - 10/20/2008 4:31:43 AM   
shewhoserves


Posts: 110
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline 		Why do more than half of the Dom/mes here expect you to relocate,  and looking at my profile i dont recall checking the lil box where it says "willing to relocate"

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 4:43:59 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		because they think that you will be so blinded by their domliness that you'll be willing to drop everything and run to their side?

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 4:46:02 AM   
ExKat


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline 		  Take it as a compliment. They like you so much, they didn't even bother to a)read your profile, or b)consider you probably don't want to date someone half-way across the country.

Seriously, though, many of the folks online here have long-distance-to-eventual-relocation relationships that work very well for them...when you're in a selective and small dating pool like this, you might have to make sacrifices to find your ideal mate. If relocation isn't for you, then simply send any e-mails from out of state to the junkmail box.

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 4:56:35 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shewhoserves

Why do more than half of the Dom/mes here expect you to relocate,  and looking at my profile i dont recall checking the lil box where it says "willing to relocate"



This is one that's close to my heart, so I'll have a crack at this.

Where I live is where I grew up, it's where I have a million and one happy memories, it's where my friends and family live; but more than anything, for it's faults and quirks, it's my home: a place where I believe I belong, a place which I believe is in my bones and a place that suits me down to the ground.

He likes you perhaps, and aims to convince you it's a good idea. Assuming this is the case, I can appreciate his efforts. In the event I meet someone on here that I think is pretty special, then I'm not going to stop at the first hurdle of 'not willing to relocate' - I'll have a good, old crack at moving heaven, earth and high water to convince her it's a good idea.

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 5:15:29 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

In the event I meet someone on here that I think is pretty special, then I'm not going to stop at the first hurdle of 'not willing to relocate' - I'll have a good, old crack at moving heaven, earth and high water to convince her it's a good idea.


What if she feels the same way as you do about where she is from? Perhaps she thinks she can convince you to move where she is? That makes for a terrible outcome

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 5:24:56 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:


Why do more than half of the Dom/mes here expect you to relocate,


If you're asking a general question, then I'd suspect that half the Dominants are not interested in a long distance or cyber relationship.  I'm not sure why that would be difficult to understand.

quote:


and looking at my profile i dont recall checking the lil box where it says "willing to relocate"


If the question is personal to you, then I wonder if your profile says you're unwilling to relocate, or if the question is simply not directly addressed and folks contacting you may be doing some wishful thinking.
 
John

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 5:29:05 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

In the event I meet someone on here that I think is pretty special, then I'm not going to stop at the first hurdle of 'not willing to relocate' - I'll have a good, old crack at moving heaven, earth and high water to convince her it's a good idea.

Never a good idea to move to Manchester. I live there, i hate it
 
On relocation i think it's a matter of compromise. If you are quite a distance apart someone has to compromise at some point, unless you are happy living apart for good.
It doesn't necessarily mean they haven't read your profile if they ask you if you are willing and you haven't checked the box. Maybe they are just hopeful like NG would be above.
 

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 5:31:13 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

In the event I meet someone on here that I think is pretty special, then I'm not going to stop at the first hurdle of 'not willing to relocate' - I'll have a good, old crack at moving heaven, earth and high water to convince her it's a good idea.


What if she feels the same way as you do about where she is from? Perhaps she thinks she can convince you to move where she is? That makes for a terrible outcome


Fortunately for me, the game is rigged: I have an insatiable propaganda machine that can outstrip anything she has to offer.

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Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 11:08:24 AM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover


If you're asking a general question, then I'd suspect that half the Dominants are not interested in a long distance or cyber relationship.  I'm not sure why that would be difficult to understand.




I'm not interested in a long distance or cyber relationship either, so I limit my search parameters on CollarMe to 250 miles.  That would seem to be more sensible to me than looking at profiles of people across the country or around the world and hoping they would drop everything and relocate to me.  But what do I know, I've been looking forever!

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 12:27:45 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shewhoserves

Why do more than half of the Dom/mes here expect you to relocate,  and looking at my profile i dont recall checking the lil box where it says "willing to relocate"


1.  Because you don't state specifically that you will not relocate?

2.  Could it be possible that you are construing the asking of the question as expectation?

3.  If you are dealing with older dominants that are already established in their careers, they might feel that it is easier for you to move than for them to go elsewhere and start over.

4.  There are many boxes left unchecked for the simple reason that many on here, dominant and submissive alike, prefer to get involved in conversations with people about their likes, dislikes, preferences, even their marital status and so...people get asked about things that are not seen.

(in reply to shewhoserves)
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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 12:42:52 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		I also do not have it checked, had also written it in my profile, and still got messages  from Doms from miles away... I have gotten into chats with some and explained my reasons  ..yes they had hoped maybe I would change my mind... one I have continued to chat with off and on for over a year though had seen other local doms...but his interest in me continued  though he never pushed while I was in a relationship  .... but  recently an event occured that will in time affect some of my reasons for not wanting to relocate.. and over the time I have gotten to know and many of the discussions we have had I know he is a good man  and cares about my well being ....so I am now willing to consider... any chance of a move is likely 3 years down the road  because of distance , borders etc   so it is not like I will be rushing into and lot of my person live changes will occurring that time and it will give us time to visit each other several times  with him also considering a temporary move here and finding out if we are compatible, and to give me an idea of what life living with him would be like.. if we can survive that time and get thru the bumps and trials  that come up .. I would think that the odds of it becoming a successful relationship after a move would be pretty high 

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 12:48:40 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		I was all set to relocate ... and I still would for the right relationship. I dont think it has to do with which side of the slash you stand on, but more to do with how your life works around you, or how you work around your life.

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 1:09:15 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shewhoserves

Why do more than half of the Dom/mes here expect you to relocate,  and looking at my profile i dont recall checking the lil box where it says "willing to relocate"


I have several reasons for wanting a sub to relocate to my area. 
 
First, I'm a university student.  I can't pick up and move until I'm finished with my studies.  Second, I'm a divorced mother.  Custody issues prevent me from moving without my ex's consent.  Third, my fiance and I own our house.  It would be more difficult for us to sell it and buy another someplace else than for a sub who's renting to move here.  Fourth, I have elderly parents with serious health issues.  I am not willing to move more than 3 hours drive from them.
 
My girl was living in MD when we met.  She's traveling for work right now, but after the election, she'll live with me.  Just because a sub didn't check the box that says "willing to relocate" doesn't mean she isn't willing to do so at the right time for the right person.  The "right" person doesn't always live within convenient driving distance.  But, if they're right for you, it won't matter.

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 1:11:19 PM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shewhoserves

Why do more than half of the Dom/mes here expect you to relocate,  and looking at my profile i dont recall checking the lil box where it says "willing to relocate"


mmm
1 they propably didn't read your profile. when they contacted you
2 other way around...you contact the wrong persons, because they expect you to move and you don't want too

but a relation..a serious one..is nicer when together..I guess.. so the basic wish is not that strange.
But how fast most expect you to move...is.

< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 10/20/2008 1:12:37 PM >

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 1:18:52 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I don't expect ANYONE to relocate.

However, if they want to belong to me, they will have to.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 1:42:14 PM   
kristileigh


Posts: 1078
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline 		i had no plans on relocating and didn't have that in my profile. First of if someone contacts you and they are too far away for you to want to get to know and meet, a simple no thank You would be nice and very appropriate. Secondly don't chat in the hopes that the person that you are chatting with will change their minds. Most Doms are pretty set in Their minds hence the title of .......Dom/Domme.

i did end up relocating 5 hours from my lifelong home .....not because Master wanted me to, but because i wanted to be with Master and to serve Him.

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 5:32:16 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		I don't know, I just kind of figured that having a profile on Collarme which is international it's pretty much even stevens that if two people form a relationship and live in different places then relocation has to happen for one of them.

They may have commitments, such as work, UMs, even pets, property in an area which is hard to sell, or various other issues as to why they can't relocate. You might have similar issues. If you live 500 miles away from each other and neither are prepared to relocate then I guess it's a case of tough titty.

Some people aren't, some people are.. it's a bit like saying some people here are dominant, some are submissive,a nd so on.

I'm prepared to relocate any distance for the right person, or support their relocation to me.

However if you are expecting someone to relocate to you internationally it's well worth checking immigration and visa requirements and making sure it is actually possible before steaming in there and risking disappointment later on.

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 5:42:11 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shewhoserves

Why do more than half of the Dom/mes here expect you to relocate,  and looking at my profile i dont recall checking the lil box where it says "willing to relocate"


I may be the first to tell you this but...they all work on a commission basis.

(I wouldn't lie about this).

(in reply to shewhoserves)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 5:45:07 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I live in a "small town" kind of place and there are not many slaves/submissives that are already living in this area. 
Because of this, I am open to people out of the area.  On the occasion that I do search profiles, I only search those that are "willing to relocate" when I am looking outside My geographical area.

I cannot relocate, generally speaking.   I have My own custody issues and although My ex has no say in what I do, I will not deprive anyone of family unless it is absolutely necessary.  I have a house and a mortgage and student loans "up the wazooo", so financially speaking, it isn't feasible for Me to move at the moment.  HOWEVER, I realize that life and the universe (or God, if you will) has a wicked sense of humor and so I refuse to say I will NEVER relocate.  *smiles*

Lady Jag

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RE: Relocation - 10/20/2008 5:45:51 PM   
Rogue86


Posts: 42
Joined: 2/10/2008
Status: offline 		you also probably don't remember checking the little box that says "NOT willing to relocate."  Because that box doesn't exist.  You might consider adding that line to your profile text near the top to cut down on the emails - and also weed out some potentially good matches who are willing to take it slow until the time is right to work out a suitable location where you can both live. Ah well... I'm sure it's quite irritating to have people message you and show interest.

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-----------
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