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RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/12/2008 2:39:56 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation


There are many here who give good, sound advice but i have to wonder........... how many people actually take their own advice?

Someone asking how long they should wait before meeting someone from cm. I would advise getting to know them as best as they can before jumping into a meet. Do i follow that advice? Hell no.
Someone asking about play on a first date. I would advise not playing on a first date. Do i follow that advice? Hell no again.


I can openly admit that most advice i give, i don't follow. Do you follow your own advice?

Using the examples that you have here
If someone was to ask how long they should wait; my response is always the same...until you feel ready...it' s the same advice I take myself...
Playing on a first date;my response is usually the same...if you feel comfortable and are ready to accept the responsibility for your own actions...then go for it...

There are some activities that I do that I would never, never in a million years ever tell someone that they were ok to 'try out' ...some that come to mind are breath play, physical beatings ( fist, boots, bats,  etc, etc ), extreme knife play, gun play...while these are things that I have already participated in to extreme measures, and would do so again if the occassion rose...they are not something that I would ever suggest or advise another to try out.

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/12/2008 2:52:28 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Do you follow your own advice?


Yes

If I have lived through making a bad mistake and learned from experience I share that too. But if I tell someone they should or should not do something then I do the same thing...

I do not tell people they should not play on first meet...

I do not tell people they should wait to meet someone...




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Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/12/2008 3:13:45 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I don't give advice, other than to say The only thing I say to those kind of questions, is that it's pointless to ask strangers on the net what they'd do, because what they'd do isn't always what you'd do. And in that yes I follow my own advice. I do what I want when I want how I want, and I don't ask the advice of those on here, as to should I do it. I just go do it.


quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation


There are many here who give good, sound advice but i have to wonder........... how many people actually take their own advice?

Someone asking how long they should wait before meeting someone from cm. I would advise getting to know them as best as they can before jumping into a meet. Do i follow that advice? Hell no.
Someone asking about play on a first date. I would advise not playing on a first date. Do i follow that advice? Hell no again.


I can openly admit that most advice i give, i don't follow. Do you follow your own advice?

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/12/2008 3:27:51 PM   
Stusmobile


Posts: 145
Joined: 5/26/2008
From: No fixed abode
Status: offline 		I am probably the worlds worst person for following my own advice ..... in some respects.

Go to bed, go eat, look after yourself ... all bloody good advice from one to another .... and then bugger me if I don't exist on 3 or 4 hours sleep a night, eat when I remember and generally abuse my old tired body till it rebels. Part of it is sheer bloody mindedness, part of it is being somewhat old fashioned and the rest is because I know me well enough to skirt that edge of unhealthiness and get away with it.

Relationship advice, I tend to keep quiet on that ... most of it is common sense and if you don't have it, no amount of advice will instill it.


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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/12/2008 3:33:16 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Yes I do follow my own advice.  But then again, I tend to advise people to meet as soon as they can, learn to develop good instincts, and have an alternate plan or three, handy in emergencies.  I am not against playing on a first meeting, and hanging out for months online developing interest in a fantasy lover has never been my thing.  I believe in accepting responsibility, regardless of whether things work out the way I had hoped.
Reality and survival skills have served me well.
Kyst

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/12/2008 3:58:05 PM   
SlaveIndigochild


Posts: 272
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation


There are many here who give good, sound advice but i have to wonder........... how many people actually take their own advice?

Someone asking how long they should wait before meeting someone from cm. I would advise getting to know them as best as they can before jumping into a meet. Do i follow that advice? Hell no.
Someone asking about play on a first date. I would advise not playing on a first date. Do i follow that advice? Hell no again.


I can openly admit that most advice i give, i don't follow. Do you follow your own advice?

Love the pic. Ab. fab.
Do i follow my own advice? Well i suppose i am really circumspect about giving advice because no i don't i follow my instinct.



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Formerly Prinsexx
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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/12/2008 4:04:46 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		No, I don't follow my own advice. Quite simply because, if someone asks me my opinion about their situation, it is not MY situation.

I live my life as it fits me, no one else.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/12/2008 4:06:01 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		I would not advice someone unless i had at least some experience or relevance to the situation  being asked about .so yes i take my own advice , and it may have also come from a trail by fire kinda thing too .Its like i would never tell a woman how to use buy or apply her make-up  unless its for  special effects /Halloween .If i did  the Woman would just end up looking like Mimi  from the Drew Carry show ,or a zombie .

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/12/2008 4:15:57 PM   
MsAuthoritarian


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/14/2008
Status: offline 		Sometimes it is wise to consider your audience and error on the side of caution when dishing out advice. I just may have more experience with "insert whatever I am giving advice about" so it makes sense to me that I just might take into consideration that someone reading it or hearing it may have no experience.
 
~Ms

(in reply to tweedydaddy)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/12/2008 4:34:38 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I only give advice that I myself would follow..otherwise imo, it's hollow and worthless words.


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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/12/2008 5:42:16 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
Sometimes our gut feelings about our own well being motivate us to take risks we would never advise someone else to take.

Well said and so true for me personally.  I've done a lot or "risky" things in my life that I would advise others to NEVER do.  It's not like I'm purposely being hypocritical it's just, as you said, I'm following my gut feelings as to what will be OK for me.  I advise them to act more safely than I end up doing.

Master and I met here on CM and began speaking on the phone the next day.  Within six weeks, I drove down to AR to spend the week with Him.  We have both laughed and joked many times about how - if one of our respective friends had told us they were doing what we did - we would have wanted to smack some sense into them.  We both would have advised those near and dear to us to NOT do just what we did.  What a shame if they had advised us the same and we'd have listened.  We'd never have found each other.

"Good" advice is well-intentioned but, in the end, I think we should all follow our OWN instincts, whether it seems "sensible" or not............luci

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/12/2008 7:32:23 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		If I offer advise my answer was gained through experience (you know, that drawer of T shirts kind of thing) 
Thankfully the drawer is only half full.  Now that I've seasoned (better word for `gag me` old) I do take
my own advise.  It's just rare that I need it.  shrug.........


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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/12/2008 10:28:35 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I don't follow my own advice because I think if you feel the need to ask, you aren't ready to handle it the way I would.  For instance, if you feel you have to ask if you should play on the first meet, then you are not ready to play on the first meet.

If you feel you have to ask if you need a safecall, then you aren't ready to meet someone without a safecall.

I don't do safecalls anymore (I did a few years back), I do play on the first meet, etc., but I wouldn't advise anyone else to do that for the reason I stated.



Cali


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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/13/2008 2:27:03 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

 Do you follow your own advice?

 
Yes.
 
the.dark.

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/13/2008 2:28:37 AM   
tweedydaddy


Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		I don't practice BDSM any more, I'm perfect

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/13/2008 6:19:31 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tweedydaddy

I don't practice BDSM any more, I'm perfect


What's that got to do with the price of fish?

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If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/13/2008 6:42:32 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		Sometime, but not always.

I went to a Xena convention about 8 years ago. Before I left, I talked to a women who said she ran the Mississippi munch and was also involved in a local dungeon. I didn't know anyone from the area and next to nothing about the lifestyle but wanted to learn more. She met me at the hotel where the convention was and did a quick interview with myself and another gentleman who ran the club. Then they gave me directions to the club and left. I went to the rest of the convention and then headed over to the dungeon. No one knew where I was or what I was doing. It was totally unsafe and I had a fantastic experience.

Now if someone told me they intended to do this, Iwould have told them it was crazy and if something happened, no one would know who she was with or even where to start looking.

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/13/2008 6:57:47 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

ORIGINAL: tweedydaddy

I don't practice BDSM any more, I'm perfect


What's that got to do with the price of fish?


Miss, I am pretty sure that was friendly sarcasm, in that he doesn't have to "practice" in the sense of getting better at doing bdsm as opposed to him truly claiming to be perfect.

As for advice, I tend to follow what I say but all situations are unique.  If someone asked you is your favorite food good and should they eat it, doesn't imply that every bit of it everywhere on the planet is good to eat.  I would tell someone not to eat bugs but I am sure somewhere there is some street vender selling a plate of roasted bugs that is really tasty.

I say go slowly, and I do.  But what is slowly, not fucking on the first or the third date?  Perhaps waiting till morning or next month?  For me I have been moving slowly dating other women, and guess what, I can't tell if I am moving too slowly or too fast yet! 

I am still maddly deeply in love with BSB and am ignoring all advice to the contrary, can't quite figure out what the hell to do, the advice I tell others would tell me to dump all the women in my life, my heart only has room for one, my friends all advice I find someone local, and in short I have no idea what I am doing and if someone came to me with that, I would tell them to step back and take a deep breath and get some perspective and that my friend is advice I hope to take but we shall see.

And trust me, from where I stand my "ivory tower" isn't so white and doesn't do a whole lot of towering!  But I have some rather charming company so what does that tell you?

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 10/13/2008 7:01:27 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/13/2008 7:11:51 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I am always one that preaches communication, communication, communication. Recently an issue arose in our dynamic that had its center in miscommunication. I am human and don't always listen or heed my own advice.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Practicing what we preach - 10/13/2008 7:32:09 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		I think we all tend to give advice based on learning from our own mistakes and successes, so we hope we might spare someone the mistakes and help them achieve successes.  Isn't that what most parents do with their children?

I try to limit the advice and just share my experiences, but I have caught myself advising someone to do something that I should be doing myself.  I try to look inward and figure out "why" I'm not following my own advice.

And in some cases, the advice I'm giving just doesn't apply to me...... so there!  LOL!

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 40
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