RE: Is it really possible?

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RE: Is it really possible? - 10/9/2008 10:14:45 AM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

What about public venues? If there's a dungeon, play party near you why not go there? Most places don't allow sex, you can just ask somebody to top you, and there won't be any heavy emotional component that might interfere in your marriage. If your husband is unsure, ask him to come with you to oversee negotiations, and to do the aftercare and drive you safely home.

Besides, seeing your euphoria afterward might make him willing to service top you sometimes.

The couple or three times I went to the local munch, I got the impression that many of the people there were into non-sexual kink and really understood those parameters well. They also organized play parties fairly often.
Might be a good place to start.

(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: Is it really possible? - 10/9/2008 12:35:51 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

It's possible but it wouldn't be for me.

Merc said it best...I like all the components of both D/s and BDSM. I see interactions with submissives as either non-sexual...good for and supportive of each other but no play and on the D/s side, more guidance than instruction...or sexual, with all that the word entails. I am not of the camp in which someone can beat/be beat upon without there being sexual arousal of some sort. I keep trying to wrap my head around that concept and it won't go there...too many questions interfere (and because I don't want to hijack or stir up a mess for no good reason, I will leave them unasked here.

).

That said, if you are in the camp where you can be spanked or beat or have other things done to you and it does not sexually arouse you, then you need to find a partner who is not aroused...at least sexually...by doing these things to you. At that point, it becomes more of a BDSM interaction than a D/s one though it may have D/s elements on top of the play but that is for you and he to decide. If you are going to partake in D/s and BDSM, you have to be careful to define how far into your head he can get, how far into your heart he can get, how far you will go in serving him.

(in reply to keiosu)

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