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CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Suggestions? Or maybe just support (10/5/2008 6:03:31 AM)
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Hon, what you're experiencing now is a kind of traumatic grief. Though it seems overwhelming, it will help to go through it rather than avoiding it. Let yourself feel whatever you're feeling. Treat yourself like a youngster who has lost someone or something dear to hir, and feed yourself whether you're hungry or not (simple, soft foods, soups, and tea usually go down easier than heavy meals for many grieving people). Let your friends help you, if they're willing, while you deal with the worst of this. Let them bring you ice cream and soup, and let them offer a shoulder. It's ok to cry for everything you've lost. It's natural to grieve not only for the loss of the man himself, but for the loss of the expectation and the dream you had created around this.
After a while, it will hurt less. Time is your best friend, and distance. Eventually, you will feel like yourself again. Scream, slam-dance, cry, beat up on stuffed animals and pillows, go to a firing range and shoot off a few rounds -- let yourself be hurt, and angry, and feel what you feel... and then, when it stops being useful, and the big wounds have closed over a bit, let it go. If you don't let it go, you'll just keep re-opening those wounds. Give yourself a couple of months -- maybe even a year... depending on how you process things... then release this and move forward and let distance, time, and new experiences close over the rest of the wound.
Calla Firestorm
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