Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Spanking & whipping as punishment?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Spanking & whipping as punishment? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 12:16:01 AM   
KillaShack


Posts: 29
Joined: 11/18/2005
Status: offline 		 
I see a lot of posts in regards to whipping and spanking as punishment. Some are from Subs complaining they did not deserve it. Others are from Doms saying that they did. And for the most part I really don’t understand it.

I spank my kids when they are bad. Never more than three swats. And if they were really bad then its three swats and loss of a privilege. To me, spanking is what you do to a child who has done wrong.  Now my daughter is almost a teen and she is getting to old to spank. But she is at an age where she understands that wrong actions have consequences that well make her lose her privileges. Because this is what happens in the outside world. If you goof off at work your boss doesn’t pull you into his office and give you a spanking. You lose privileges, pay ect.
 


Now my slaves are adults. These two sometimes naughty females fully understand that bad or wrong actions cause punishment. And it’s never a whipping or spanking. Its loss of privileges that they have earned.  And they don’t just get these privileges back. They have to earn them all over again.

Now im not saying that I don’t whip or spank my slaves. As a matter of fact I whip or spank them often. Sometimes they ask to be spanked. Sometimes I feel like whipping them abit. And sometimes I even reward them with spankings or whippings. They like to be tough and ask for more, and I really hate to disappoint them. I think that whipping or spanking them when they are naughty only confuses the issue. I spank or whip them because they are my property and I enjoy it. I spank them because they enjoy it.

I can see how some slaves or submissive get confused. They think they did something wrong when they get spanked or whipped hard. There is no confusion in my home. My slaves know they can be spanked at any time. If I wish it or they desire it.

Besides I find it to be much more effective to punish them by loss of privileges.  For example, Both my slaves are china dolls. All the shoes in the house are kept by the door in a show rack. And only slippers are worn around the house. (( I don’t like slippers, so I just wear my socks.)) I like this as it keep my home clean and neat. And when they are naughty one of the privileges they can lose is wearing their slippers and socks. They think its horrid to walk around the house in their bare feet. Its an Asian thing but it works for me. **chuckles**

Anyway… I cant be the only one who thinks this way? Any other thoughts or opposing views?  

< Message edited by KillaShack -- 10/2/2008 12:17:14 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 12:22:36 AM   
VivaciousSub


Posts: 446
Joined: 9/7/2008
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		Killa,

You're likely to get a lot of responses along this line, but:

Everyone has a different dynamic in their relationship when it comes to D/s that's worked out between the people involved. For some, corporal punishment is what does the trick and for others, loss of privileges works just as well. Some of us need to feel a physical connection between the action and the punishment, and some others do just fine with losing rights or privileges.

Speaking for myself, the mental aspect - losing something I had formerly enjoyed, or worse, seeing a look of disappointment in Sir's eyes - works far better. That, and I enjoy pain. So for me, losing spankings would be a punishment. Since physical stuff is something that Sir and I do together sexually, I would have a very hard time mixing the two up.


_____________________________

9.8m/s^2 + VivaciousSub + ground = ouchx10^9th

To yield readily--easily--to the persuasion of a friend is no merit.... To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either. ~ Pride and Prejudice

(in reply to KillaShack)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 12:26:58 AM   
leakylee


Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		whipping or spanking me as a punishment wouldnt be very effective. paddling on the other hand (i am not afraid to admit that here.. hehe.. ) would just flat screw up my day. i hate those things. mental punishment and discipline is what works on me. it really all depends on the person, and the dynamic. beating a masochists doesnt do much good. denying them is a different matter.

lee

_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

(in reply to KillaShack)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 12:27:45 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Spanking, for me, is a "OK, I'm gone" kinda thing... gone as in packed bags, out the door.  Whips? Thats a treat :)  For me,, like Viv said, the look of disappointment is the killer.. and the WORST thing is being ignored...

Again, as Viv said.. it's all about the dynamic in the relationship.


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to VivaciousSub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 12:34:54 AM   
KillaShack


Posts: 29
Joined: 11/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VivaciousSub

Speaking for myself, the mental aspect - losing something I had formerly enjoyed, or worse, seeing a look of disappointment in Sir's eyes - works far better. That, and I enjoy pain. So for me, losing spankings would be a punishment. Since physical stuff is something that Sir and I do together sexually, I would have a very hard time mixing the two up.



She enjoys getting her cute little butt spanked and I enjoy spanking it.  And there is just no way I’m going to punish her by not spanking her, cause then that takes away from my enjoyment as well.

Ohhhh I should say that I do have some punishments that do not involve taking away privileges.

For example…  Tieing her to a chair in front of the TV and making her watch old Baywatch DVD’s. I never thought that id have any use for that stupid office gift til I thought of it as a punishment. “Ok my little naughty slave, you sit here and watch beach bimbos disarm a nuclear bomb while I go work out..”

The crys for forgiveness start even before I have set the TV remote down…

< Message edited by KillaShack -- 10/2/2008 12:35:40 AM >

(in reply to VivaciousSub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 12:35:51 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		I've not spanked a girl in anger or punishment ever.  That is not to say I've don't enjoi marking my bitchs ass.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 2:00:31 AM   
WhiplashSmile2


Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline 		My thoughts on this topic may or may not be a suprise to some people.   In fact me and the new girl talked about this awhile back too.

I'm pro supportive of spanking as punishment, however very seldom have I ever had to spank anybody.  Be it kids or a sub/slave.   There are number of misconceptions I see at work on this thread along with lack of acceptence or understanding.

I make it clear and upfront about the type of offenses or wrong doings that I will spank somebody for.  The Top of the list, if I catch somebody attempting to cause or causing another person any physical or great harm.  I have zero tolerence for this behavior. 

Anybody who I've ever punished with a spanking it's one to three blows at most.  Yes, it does make an adult sub/slave feel like they are being treated like a kid.  It's punishment and it's humilating to be spanked like a kid.   However, if you want to act like a kid, be prepared to get it like a kid.  Reminded that you are in fact been acting like a kid.   The Humilation factor of being treated like a kid, is punishment in itself.

Anybody who I have ever spanked, trust me, they more then deserved it and they knew it and knew the major wrong they did.  

No confusion of it being associated with pleasure either.   A Masochist can feel the stinging reminder and trust me, they won't be processing it as pleasure.  Because of the mental aspect going on at the time.  It appears that too many people are afraid that spanking a Masochist will somehow result in confusion.  This is a misconception.

As it's been stated, the whole mental aspects of punishment is what gets to anybody.  Ok, combine those things along with a wack on the ass.   The Brain is not processing this as pleasure or a great experience. 

Again, I stress that very seldom have I ever had to spank a kid or a sub/slave.  This is a very rare thing for me to do.  However, still none the less it's something I have done and will do. 

Sure, the sub/slave might be feeling like they are being treated like a kid, but then again that's 75-80% of what it's about.  The humilation factor.   It's anything but about PAIN, this is why Spanking even a Masochist even as punishment can and does really fucking work more time then not.

Corperal style punishments really have a bad rap these days.   It's not some abusive behavior.  There are people who abuse punishment, and this has resulted in it having a bad rap these days.

If I can loving spank somebody's ass 20 times while playing, I best be able to spank there ass 1-3 times as a means of punishment if they have committed some major wrong doing.   Come on, if you can take it during play, you can take it when it's the real deal.   At least physically you can deal it, mentally it will eat you up inside being treated like a little kid, which makes it real punishment and more mental compared to being physical.

Spanking is confused with beating somebody senseless.  Again, it's not about mindlessly beating somebody or taking anger out on somebody.   Punishment is punishment.   You can wack somebody on the ass 1-3 times while being pissed off, just as much as you can stand there and come up with a list of their prileages you are going to revoke.   Words often can cause more hurt compared to physical actions any day.   Just because you are not physically touching somebody does not mean you are not prone to perhaps subjecting more long last injury to them verbally.

People that express they never do such and such while angry sort of concern me.  Makes me wonder how much control they really have over themselves when they are pissed.  You can be pissed, upset, angry and pissed and still be in control of yourself.   It's something that one has to master and be aware of in themselves.  The aspect of self discipline at work.  

It's like telling somebody, hey I suck at being able to control myself when I'm pissed or angry. 

I'm sorry if I'm sounding harsh and judgemental here.  I'm expressing my honest thoughts on this topic and matter.  I'm not here to be part of the Social BDSM Glee club and make lots and lots of friends and worry about pissing somebody off or not.

Punishment is just that, spanking for punishment is not play, not even for a masochist, don't worry it won't confuse them and get them thinking punishment is pleasure and vice versa.   The human mind works very well at understanding and processing what the fuck is going on.  Plus spanking and the humilation factor involved reinforces D/s. 

Sure, if somebody can take 20 hard licks to their ass during play, but find taking 1-3 licks to their ass as punishment too much, there's something wrong with the picture.  Must be something mentally that troubles them.   Hence spanking is not so much of a physical thing as it is mental. 

OK, enough of this rant.  I know I'm not the only person out there that understand this concept.




(in reply to KillaShack)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 4:11:34 AM   
spankablemilf


Posts: 57
Joined: 9/26/2008
Status: offline 		I know for me, it's not about being a kid it's about getting a desired result.  I know that denial of priviliges is not going to stop me from some behaviors.  Sure there are some things that might stop me in that way, but for me a spanking is what clears my mind and the air.  It's cleansing and I feel much more submissive after receiving one.  I'm happy that my Master is able to understand what works on me, if I appear to be acting like a kid then so be it.  Everyone have their own way of doing things.

(in reply to WhiplashSmile2)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 5:02:31 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		We don't have a punishment dynamic. I'm not a kid doing naughty things just to see where the line between myself and  my parents is. I'm an adult. I do things that make sense to me. If he decides that it wasn't the brightest thing to do, he does this amazing thing. He asks me why I did it, what were the circumstances surrounding the event, and what was going on with me. And then we discuss other ways of handling things.

And if he couldn't convince me logically, but had to resort to force of any kind, I would lose respect for him. He got me because he doesn't demand stupid things, I got him because I don't do stupid things. We both proved ourselves to the other to be trustworthy. We aren't perfect, so we do have to discuss problems that arise, but always we know that there has been no willful disobedience on my part, nor any selfish uncaring acts on his that he knows will impact negatively on me.

So what is your punishment when you screw up? Because on occasion you do, all humans do.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to spankablemilf)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 5:09:38 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		See...thats  why you have a following...that right there....mmmmm

have a good day.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 5:23:29 AM   
Slavelary


Posts: 54
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline 		It's all relative.  As much as I like being whipped, I feel bad when I'm punished for not pleasing my Master.

(in reply to KillaShack)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 7:29:57 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14449
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KillaShack

 
I see a lot of posts in regards to whipping and spanking as punishment. Some are from Subs complaining they did not deserve it. Others are from Doms saying that they did.
Actually, I don't think I've seen a lot of posts regarding whipping and spanking as punishment.

Regardless, most people here will say the same thing....every dynamic is different. What works for me, may not work for you and vice versa.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to KillaShack)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 7:43:58 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		there is a HUGE difference between a play spanking and a punishment spanking, imho. The play spanking is highly enjoyable while the punishment spanking can/does cause tears everytime. ymmv

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 7:50:02 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

Tieing her to a chair in front of the TV and making her watch old Baywatch DVD’s.


you have baywatch dvds??? LOL...

RUN YASMINE RUN

i like watching her run...

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to KillaShack)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 7:57:06 AM   
BeMyOne


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/5/2008
Status: offline 		 I believe in self monitoring, meaning discipline wrong actions, but not punish...especially with slaves experience...no matter how hard I would beat slave for punishment, her self punishment for making Master unhappy or displeased would be tougher on herself....besides beating should be enjoyed, not used for punishment...so I would not beat because all I would have to say is My displeasure and slave would punish herself emotionally more than My whip ever could... wouldn’t it be nice to have Master’s trust so you could take chances and risks to serve better?
Master Lenard

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 8:03:19 AM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Spanking for me IS a punishment for me, and i simply will do anything and everything in my power to avoid one,  But whip, cane, even punch  me till theres no tomorrow and I'll be back for more.  Nuts? you bet! 2 please :)

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to BeMyOne)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 8:08:21 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KillaShack

Anyway… I cant be the only one who thinks this way? Any other thoughts or opposing views?  

Spanking as a punishment depends greatly on the sub. Fox is a masochist and enjoys spankings, so sending mixed signals and ruining an enjoyable activity by giving it negative connotations isnt an interest of mine. When I had Angel, he hated spankings and they would have made a perfect punishment.
What I do to punish someone has nothing to do with their age. It has to do with having a physical action linked to my displeasure. I could pat someone on the head every time they misbehaved, and becasue they hated making me upset, patting them on the head would bring tears. I have looked at Fox after he has done something and he has gotten close to tears just from thinking I was upset.  The action isnt important, the connotation of it is.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to KillaShack)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 9:31:45 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I personally do not do things as punishments that resemble things I do for pleasure. I just do not want to risk creating negative associations for the things I enjoy or undermining the impact of any punishment.

That said, beyond the initial training period, I do not think that punishment is necessary in most adult relationships. My slave has agreed to serve me and the only thing that he could to justify a punishment would be to stop doing that. But then one could argue that by not upholding his end of our dynamic he has ended said dynamic and thus again no need for punishment.

Instead I find talking and figuring out why any disobedience happened is far more effective in my household. In generally it wasn't an attempt to be disobedient but making assumptions without asking for clarification. Communication is the solution here.

I can't remember the last time I punished Fox.

I have a great deal of difficulty grasping how dynamics function when punishment is necessary.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to KillaShack)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 10:59:19 AM   
caelestis


Posts: 195
Joined: 9/6/2008
Status: offline 		As I am a masochist whippings and spankings can be fun, but only as long as I know its for fun and pleasure, not as punishment. Its not so much the actions of whipping and/or spanking but the mentality behind it. There is a whole world of difference between how my mindset is for play, and how it is for punishment.

Now if you are not telling your sub/slave that a certain action is for punishement then I can see where there might be some confusion, but at the same time I would guess that a sub/slave could tell when their Dominant is displeased with them and if given a spanking when said Dominant was displeased they wouldn't take it as play.

All that being said, for me personally, corner time is the worst punishment ever, especially when the Dominant is busy doing stuff behind me. Drives me up a wall (due to a large sense of curiousity on my part) and leaves me feeling very much in my place because it gives me time to reflect over how I have disappointed/upset my Domianant.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Spanking & whipping as punishment? - 10/2/2008 11:28:32 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline 		I am sure others have said, too lazy to thoroughly read all replies
there is a difference between punishment, discipline and spanking for fun. I have never been punished by Sir, disciplined with several techniques, yes.  When the crop is used, that is the most severe.
Yesterday it was his opinion I deserved it.  And as he used it, he spoke, I listened and guidance and re-direction was the outcome.

Punishment is for willful defiant disobedience and I am not like that.
He has already told me what that punishment is and it would be something I could not endure.  And it has nothing to do with any "equipment."
 
Each submissive is different and what works for one will not work for another.
I love the flogger, it will never be used for discipline because I like it.
To use it for discipline would confuse me greatly.
 
Sound judgment and knowing the submissive is the best practice.
And yes, for some this takes experimentation.

(in reply to caelestis)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Spanking & whipping as punishment? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.141