quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySarijane

I'm curious to know if others have experienced this.

I'm known as a heavy masochist in the group(s) I'm in locally. I find a lot of times that because of that, I don't get lighter sensations given to me. It seems like because I'm known as someone who can take a lot that I must not want or need the "lighter" stuff.

I absolutely love a good beating that leaves lots of marks and leaves me worn out and sated and flying high, but sometimes I really want some different sensations like hot wax, fire, flogging, light massage touches, etc. The best for me is a mix of light and heavy with a good warm up and yeah more to the heavy usually, especially after the warm up. I'll be honest, most of what I enjoy and generally want is the heavier impact play, but I still want/need a little lighter stuff mixed in.

At a recent event when I was negotiating a scene with a top friend, I made comment on it and how I love floggers, but don't get them used on me much anymore and how I missed that. He said he'd be more than happy to use floggers on me and would use only them on me if that was what I wanted. I didn't want just floggers, just wanted floggers too and told him so, and I got them as well as a number of other things, including 2 new experiences for me and it was fantastic.

Maybe I should speak up more often, but I generally trust the tops I play with to use what they wish to on me and I very much enjoy what they do. It's usually a win-win situation. I am also very shy and it's very difficult for me to speak up on things unless it's very important.

Do other heavy masos experience this too? What have you done to try and change it? Do you miss lighter sensations if you don't get them sometimes?

quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySarijane

I'm curious to know if others have experienced this.

I'm known as a heavy masochist in the group(s) I'm in locally. I find a lot of times that because of that, I don't get lighter sensations given to me. It seems like because I'm known as someone who can take a lot that I must not want or need the "lighter" stuff.

I absolutely love a good beating that leaves lots of marks and leaves me worn out and sated and flying high, but sometimes I really want some different sensations like hot wax, fire, flogging, light massage touches, etc. The best for me is a mix of light and heavy with a good warm up and yeah more to the heavy usually, especially after the warm up. I'll be honest, most of what I enjoy and generally want is the heavier impact play, but I still want/need a little lighter stuff mixed in.

At a recent event when I was negotiating a scene with a top friend, I made comment on it and how I love floggers, but don't get them used on me much anymore and how I missed that. He said he'd be more than happy to use floggers on me and would use only them on me if that was what I wanted. I didn't want just floggers, just wanted floggers too and told him so, and I got them as well as a number of other things, including 2 new experiences for me and it was fantastic.

Maybe I should speak up more often, but I generally trust the tops I play with to use what they wish to on me and I very much enjoy what they do. It's usually a win-win situation. I am also very shy and it's very difficult for me to speak up on things unless it's very important.

Do other heavy masos experience this too? What have you done to try and change it? Do you miss lighter sensations if you don't get them sometimes?

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

If the masochist is also submissive -   ... then asking for personally satisfying types of play is not always what they want to or feel comfortable doing

quote:

ORIGINAL: IvyMorgan

I hate it when they skip the warm up bit, my head has to adjust, and that's not an instant process.

quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild


IMO, you're like the majority of people who want and desire variety n the type of activity to engage in, whether it's flogging, caning, paddling, etc. Quite often our minds and bodies alert us to the fact of wanting a specific amount of pain or craving one or more types of play. It's the verbal communication of asking or letting the top know that you desire more of this, less of that or shake things up and surprise me!I may be wrong in this but I believe that many of us submissive bottoms have difficulty in asking for what we want. Either it's because we feel it's "not our place" to ask or we are fearful of appearing to be too demanding or other life experiences which prevent us from being more vocal in our wants/needs/desires.