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RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 9/29/2008 7:00:51 AM   
SirHavokMI


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline 		i completely agree with greyjay.  At work, i am a different person, i desire to be submissive at home as it releases me fully from having to be in control all the time.  As it turns out, it is something that balances my life.  However, i am sure that people who don't know me well would make assumptions from seeing me in the work world that would peg me for a dominant. 

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RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 9/29/2008 7:34:15 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you
Now getting to the real question~~~>
 
How do you recognize Dominance in the workforce or vanilla world?

I would not actually think about categorising people as dom or sub at work and I don't know that there is a foolproof sign of dominance ...surely each person carries their dominance in their own unique way and me trying to categorise them or make assumptions is likely to only leave me with egg on my face.


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RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 9/29/2008 7:43:36 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		well said, wanders 

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RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 9/29/2008 8:04:49 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Don't see BDSM all around us but I am more aware of power and authority issues, most of which are unspoken and borderline consensual (at best) in my opinion, throughout human history.

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RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 9/29/2008 8:31:36 AM   
tornaway


Posts: 174
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline 		 Sounds like a classic example of someone seeing what they WANT to see .
 
    And maybe she's a DOMINANT , not a Dominate - dang it .  

< Message edited by tornaway -- 9/29/2008 8:32:08 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 9/29/2008 4:54:23 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		It makes me crazy how often people confuse DOMINANT and DOMINATE.  If you're gonna live this, you should be able to spell the terms.

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 9/29/2008 4:58:43 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline
I am painfully dyslexic, words like these serious scare me on these boards since I can make an honest mistake and get crucified!    

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RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 9/29/2008 10:30:12 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		LadyL.. letter transpositions and the odd spelling errors are one thing... consistently using the wrong form of a word is just ANNOYING

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RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 9/30/2008 7:39:36 AM   
scarlethiney


Posts: 492
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline 		 This woman in the Bellagio was tall, walked with authority and had high heels on  and your assuming or guessing she was dominant because you grew up in a dominant house hold?  I cannot imagine how you arrived at this.

All woman who are confident and wear high heels aren't necessarily dominant.  Of course she could have been dominant, but unless she was wearing a flak jacket with large white lettering on the back that said DOMINANT you just aren't going to be able to tell ................unless you ask. I don't think I'd do that at work.

scarlet



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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 9/30/2008 7:59:39 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirHavokMI

i completely agree with greyjay.  At work, i am a different person, i desire to be submissive at home as it releases me fully from having to be in control all the time.  As it turns out, it is something that balances my life.  However, i am sure that people who don't know me well would make assumptions from seeing me in the work world that would peg me for a dominant. 

SirHavok's slave


Same for me. Alot of my freinds that i came out to thought i would be the Dominant one in the relationship hehe. I'm very in charge at work, last thing i want is to be incharge at home too.

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RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 9/30/2008 12:06:26 PM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Hello A/all,

I want to relate a similar experience.  I was working one Off-Season in the cafeteria of a really large ski area in the Sierras.  A woman came through the line that riveted my attention.  I was aware of her before I really saw her.  It was something in the way she carried herself.  By the way, she was in SKI-BOOTS; not high heels!  To this day I kick myself for not saying something like "How may I serve you?" 

Later I determined that this woman was Nancy Novak (I hope that I didn't mis-spell that) so my radar was spot-on.

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 9/30/2008 4:58:13 PM   
VivaciousSub


Posts: 446
Joined: 9/7/2008
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

It was something in the way she carried herself.


See, this I would take (with a shaker of salt) as a much more reliable indicator (if there is such a thing) than a pair of high heels in Vegas.

I wore stilettos in Vegas with my former Sir, and let me tell you, if I had tried to be the dominant, I would have paid for it dearly.


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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 10/1/2008 7:58:53 AM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		Have you ever heard of acting dominant?
We all play roles to a certain extent.
I'm extremely dominant but it doesn't mean a damn thing if the person I am trying to dominate won't submit.
I managed to make my group manager at work
1 Go back and wipe his feet when he was trecking mud all over the carpet.
2 Make coffee for all of the people in the office when he came to visit. I didn't think he knew how.
3 Pay his coffee dues.
4 I told  him to buy a map so he didn't have to ask for directions and that he got to where he was going on time. Not sure if he ever did.
I managed to get the woman who was two layers up from him to stop using the word training when what she was talking about was briefing.
I managed to get the director to let me liase with the person who was in control of providing a particular service so that we provide an equitable service. It happened.
I smacked one of my female colleagues across the bottom. She enjoyed it she didn't report me for sexual harrassment.
However I got the sack for my profile on this site because the afore mentioned group manager made a complaint about me which was totally untrue.
So you can be dominant and bloody stupid at the same time lol.
Be careful.
Oh and I love wearing heels.
I'm definietly dominant but am I a Domina?
Well that's for me to know and you to find out if you want to.
How do you do that? I suggest you ask me. It has been stated before but just thought I'd say it again.
Be gentle with other people. You have no idea what they are going through.

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 10/1/2008 8:14:30 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC


I am painfully dyslexic, words like these serious scare me on these boards since I can make an honest mistake and get crucified!    


If you're known to have a problem like dyslexia, or not to be a native English speaker, you get a free pass. The problem here is we don't know who does or doesn't have a problem versus who did drugs all through high school and failed English.

If you add dyslexic to your sig line, it might help save you.

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 10/1/2008 8:39:29 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC


I am painfully dyslexic, words like these serious scare me on these boards since I can make an honest mistake and get crucified!


And end up with a cross domme? Erm, maybe not..

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 10/1/2008 8:43:58 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Seriously celeste.  I have seen you write that before and it's an awful suggestion.  That people are only excused from their disability if they wear a badge?  I am appalled.  Sometimes, being different isn't seen as a disability by those that have it - and the reverse is also true.
 
Its not helpful to suggest we should start singling out differences - I asked you this before and you never answered.  You want people to wear badges next like someone else made others do once just to treat them differently?  I am not expecting you to respond, and yes I am giving an extreme example - but one thing leads to another.
 
the.dark.

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 10/1/2008 8:46:26 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Deleted 


< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 10/1/2008 8:48:51 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Seeing Bdsm in the workforce/vanilla world? - 10/2/2008 10:37:31 AM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Wandersalone. I would not actually think about categorising people as dom or sub at work and I don't know that there is a foolproof sign of dominance ...surely each person carries their dominance in their own unique way and me trying to categorise them or make assumptions is likely to only leave me with egg on my face.


This is good, although I wouldn't want to personally ask them. If I did I would go about it in a round about way.
 
Always, knees


(in reply to SirHavokMI)
Profile   Post #: 58
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