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Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:09:15 PM

HisBeautifulSub

Posts: 16
Joined: 6/29/2008
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Normally i have no insecurities about other women, I am in a "Semi open" relationship and I live with my Sir and have been with Him in a committed relationship since April, we originally met in march but didn't make it complete or committed until mid April, Now i know He was "seeing" someone in the lifestyle right before me but told me he called all of it off when he met me in march. But it seems that He and she had a connection, she even contacted him via phone and text wanting to see him in june three months after they split and He and I became committed . He made it very clear that if He was to meet her i would be there also. She wouldn't agree to that. She had made it seem as if she was having some sort of problem...I was actually feeling bad and telling him to call her and make sure she is ok, and if she needed a place i would be ok with her coming here to stay untill she got on her feet. Months go by and We had a "falling out of sorts" I had moved in and we were having "growing pains of a sort" (typical when u move in ...it takes time to adjust to how each other live) I was on my way to moving out and back to colorado, And then i receive an email here on collar me from her, Now i will not go into details because this in no way is about drama. I just find it odd that she is on my profile watching my posts and then when i post that im no longer with this person she is emailing me. He has told me that he misses her...and she has stated the same to him..He has been 100 percent open and honest about her to me. I almost feel as if i am standing in the way of two people being happy.

Post #: 1

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:12:37 PM

sirsholly

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If you are no longer with this person i cannot see how you are standing in the way of anything.

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RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:12:56 PM

Bstardsbitch

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So you met him in March and committed to him in April?.
When did he break up with the other woman?

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Post #: 3

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:14:42 PM

CalifChick

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From: California
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I'm confused on whether you are still with him or not... you said "on your way" to moving out.

Cali

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Post #: 4

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:14:59 PM

HisBeautifulSub

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I am still with him.....and he says he split with her when he met me in march...

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Post #: 5

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:17:40 PM

Bstardsbitch

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One word............................rebound

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Post #: 6

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:17:57 PM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
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I was on my way to moving out and back to colorado, (are you still moving out?)

And then i receive an email here on collar me from her, Now i will not go into details because this in no way is about drama. (well no details means pretty crappy advice, if that's what you seek)

I almost feel as if i am standing in the way of two people being happy. (Has the choice been made? And if not, are you willing to be the one that makes it?)

good luck...

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Post #: 7

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:19:11 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisBeautifulSub

I just find it odd that she is on my profile watching my posts and then when i post that im no longer with this person she is emailing me.

at one point you posted that you are no longer with him?

If you two are still together perhaps send her a c-mail stating such and then ignore her?

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Post #: 8

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:20:00 PM

OttersSwim

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Sounds like your relationship with him is still in question? Are you two done? If so, then there is nothing for you to worry about.

That you appear worried by posting this implies that there is still in your mind a chance that it might work out between you and he. Sympathies on the situation, and it sounds like you and he still have some talking to do.

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Post #: 9

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:25:43 PM

HisBeautifulSub

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I am still with Him ...thats why i stated this in the opening of my post....I am in a "Semi open" relationship and I live with my Sir and have been with Him in a committed relationship since April....I was stating the moving away to explain the "issue" of why she may have contacted me...being that we were split....we did work it out and still are working on it.....I dont state what was in the emails because it became petty and just plain ridiculous because she doesn't understand english real well yet, due to her being from another country. And as for a Rebound?....there was no intimate contact according to him...He states he never even kissed her...he just dated her...And played a small bit with her...that is where alot of this confusion comes in....He split with her because he thought she had no interest...when it turned out im assuming she did...but it was june when she realized i guess and He and i were already in the process of moving me in.

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Post #: 10

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:27:43 PM

HisBeautifulSub

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Joined: 6/29/2008
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I guess to put it simple....I feel as if they both feel as if they missed out on each other...and im the one standing in the way...

(in reply to HisBeautifulSub)

Post #: 11

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:35:05 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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The only thing you can do is ask him. So you know her position - that's not your concern. What is your concern is what he wants. If he is totally aware of her feelings and is still with you, then there really isn't anything for you to worry about. You ultimately do what is right for you and if you serve him, listen to him instead of second guessing.

the.dark.

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Post #: 12

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:37:55 PM

OttersSwim

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You say a "semi-open" relationship. That implies that there are/may be/will be other partners? Something to think about. In an open relationship, there are things that each party brings to the other that can be unique. This means that in the case of another partner entering into the relationship, the focus is not on replacement of an existing partner, but enhancement of the relationships of all parties. One way of looking at it is to see if he wants to pursue this relationship with her as well? If so, then you are not being replaced, and giving him room to pursue this can potentially help your relationship with him. But this path is based on everyone involved setting up and understanding a baseline set of agreements and he is going to want to have to stay with you and see her.

If you are familiar with polyamory, then this will make some sense to you. If not, there is a lot of great info on the web if you decide to give this road a think.

If this is not something that you want to pursue, then you and he really need to talk.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to HisBeautifulSub)

Post #: 13

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:41:33 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Yeah, I'm kinda iffy on the definition of "semi-open."

Don't make decisions for your life based on what some stranger wants. If he wants to go to her, he will.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 14

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:46:56 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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He stopped seeing her because he met you. He could have asked her if she had any real interest in him or going further... I wonder why he didn't? So he quickly gets involved with you and now has an attachment to you and the grass is greener on the other side so to speak. They didn't communicate and now the adjustments of a new and quickly gotten into relationship might be seeming to be more difficult than the easy grass is greener on the other side. I dare say you are not holding two fated lovers from one another.

You have a wishy washy situation and now are in a precarious position unless you have the money to move etc. The doubts and such you must feel are awful and you cannot be comfortable. You would be far better off not being in a crazy making situation and or knowing and being able to trust in where his heart is. It sounds confused to me and you can't rely on confused. Save your sanity... they will work out whatever in life, just go do what you need to do. Start thinking about yourself!

What is in Colorado that you can go home to and do you have the means to do it if you should decide to?

Also... if she is watching your post and such... what will the result of this thread be?

< Message edited by Lockit -- 9/24/2008 2:51:23 PM >

(in reply to HisBeautifulSub)

Post #: 15

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 2:59:49 PM

MrRodgers

Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
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Yes, you should worry. You should worry about this kind of decision making of yours that would have you move what 1500 miles and after only a month...taking his word that he broke it off. Then once there, find out he hasn't broken it off at all and now you are looking to move 1500 miles back.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 16

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 3:23:04 PM

HisBeautifulSub

Posts: 16
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

You say a "semi-open" relationship. That implies that there are/may be/will be other partners? Something to think about. In an open relationship, there are things that each party brings to the other that can be unique. This means that in the case of another partner entering into the relationship, the focus is not on replacement of an existing partner, but enhancement of the relationships of all parties. One way of looking at it is to see if he wants to pursue this relationship with her as well? If so, then you are not being replaced, and giving him room to pursue this can potentially help your relationship with him. But this path is based on everyone involved setting up and understanding a baseline set of agreements and he is going to want to have to stay with you and see her.

If you are familiar with polyamory, then this will make some sense to you. If not, there is a lot of great info on the web if you decide to give this road a think.

If this is not something that you want to pursue, then you and he really need to talk.

We are not poly and when We state Semi open we share in partners when we both are present and do not pursue outside relations or relationships...nor do we add to our relationship it is strictly play.

(in reply to MrRodgers)

Post #: 17

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 3:25:03 PM

HisBeautifulSub

Posts: 16
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

Yes, you should worry. You should worry about this kind of decision making of yours that would have you move what 1500 miles and after only a month...taking his word that he broke it off. Then once there, find out he hasn't broken it off at all and now you are looking to move 1500 miles back.

My decision to move to colorado was a personal decision due to my health....i cannot live alone due to it...and the situation at the time was not healthy so i had decided to move to colorado to my family...ive been on my own since i was 16 and many miles away from them....And if i did move...i wouldnt move back.

(in reply to HisBeautifulSub)

Post #: 18

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 3:27:29 PM

HisBeautifulSub

Posts: 16
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

What is in Colorado that you can go home to and do you have the means to do it if you should decide to?

Also... if she is watching your post and such... what will the result of this thread be?

My family is in colorado...and if she is watching this post then so be it....She needs to understand that she is affecting more than one person.

(in reply to HisBeautifulSub)

Post #: 19

RE: Should i worry..... - 9/24/2008 3:30:08 PM

HisBeautifulSub

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titleAndStar(485,0,0,false,"","")Perverted

Posts: 485
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: online Yes, you should worry. You should worry about this kind of decision making of yours that would have you move what 1500 miles and after only a month...taking his word that he broke it off. Then once there, find out he hasn't broken it off at all and now you are looking to move 1500 miles back.

Also...I did not move TO Him...i lived in florida as he does and close...i can always stay here if need be...but with my health it would be a great strain.

(in reply to HisBeautifulSub)

Post #: 20

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