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RE: restraint - 9/20/2008 2:41:11 PM

greeneyes600

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Joined: 9/16/2008
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Great answer, thank you RealSub58

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Post #: 41

RE: restraint - 9/20/2008 2:42:50 PM

greeneyes600

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Joined: 9/16/2008
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I like the way you say that AFTER posting the one before and making my brain hurt more...

Seriously though, thanks.

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Post #: 42

RE: restraint - 9/20/2008 2:44:33 PM

westernbutterfly

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Joined: 4/11/2008
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I am fairly new to the scene and have only had one real long-term play partner, and I can't imagine enduring some of our really tough scenes unrestrained. I am still finding my tolerance for pain and unrestrained, I think the flight or fight response mechanism would supercede all desire of pleasing and submitting to him. It is something that I strive for, but I know that I am not there yet. However, I want those tough scenes, and I greatly appreciate the restraints so that W/we both have a really positive scene that helps me grow and meet His desire to push my limits to the extreme. I am in awe when I watch a "bottom" (generic term used to include all of us--subs, slaves, bottoms, etc.) stand motionless as the whip cracks around her bottom. Some day I may have that much self-control, but right now, no way.

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RE: restraint - 9/20/2008 2:49:32 PM

westernbutterfly

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Unrestrained involves a great deal of self-control, which is power over oneself. However, I believe that both--restrained and unrestrained--are acts of submission that involve an exchange of power between the Dom and the submissive (Top/bottom, Master/slave).

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RE: restraint - 9/20/2008 2:55:12 PM

greeneyes600

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Thanks westernbutterfly...i can't wait to find that dynamic. xx

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RE: restraint - 9/20/2008 3:04:35 PM

DesFIP

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Additional thought. I have to agree to let him restrain me in the beginning. I have to submit to his wish to restrain me.

And as I said, for many of us restraints by and of themselves serve a purpose of being aesthetically pleasing and sexually arousing. I submit to him taking as much time as he wants to slowly tie me matching the vision he has in his mind. I submit to him putting me into positions a pretzel usual doesn't get into. I submit to him choosing whether to tell me to stand there or to tie me there.

I submit to his choice. If it's about my choice, then I'm not submitting. So if he wants restraints and the sub says no, it ought to be done without restraints, then the sub is in charge because she made the decision.

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Post #: 46

RE: restraint - 9/20/2008 3:47:51 PM

lovingpet

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Joined: 6/19/2005
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I was merely referring to those who choose to use safewords. I also refer to the ability to determine that the relationship is not healthy for a given person and, therefore, walking away. These are things that I would tend to think are used only under the most extreme of circumstances, but there is that very real possibility. I am not at all alluding to being a bottom or a do-me submissive. I am talking about the simple fact that many play based on consent and limits. Sorry, but that does place some level of control back on the submissive.

I don't utilize most of these methods, but I am just addressing that they do exist and what they mean in reality.

lovingpet

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RE: restraint - 9/20/2008 8:43:58 PM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
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I think it is pretty hot if a woman says I can whip her or do something else to her if I will tie her down so she can’t get away. She is simply being a realist and realizing she can’t voluntarily take it, but still wants it and wants to please me. Works for me. [Select]

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Post #: 48