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RE: Masculinity and Feminity - 9/14/2008 7:16:18 PM

ExSteelAgain

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Once again, it comes down to the meaning of the words, but, of course, that’s your point. CM represents a conglomerate of dominant and submissive people of both sexes and all orientations. So that pretty much proves that not only men are aggressive “masculine” types. And so on…

Accuracy in sexual characteristics description is for the unimaginative.

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RE: Masculinity and Feminity - 9/14/2008 9:00:57 PM

kidwithknife

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Part of the issue is that what is considered "masculine" and "feminine" behaviour is incredibly contextual. In varies from country to country and has differed greatly throughout history. And even in a specific country, it still depends very much on the social norms of any particular group of people.

To use an example, a lot of my friends work in the theatre. Among them, kissing people hello on the cheek is entirely gender-neutral. It certainly isn't considered effeminate behaviour in any way. However, if I was to greet people the same way at a sporting event, the reaction would be very different.

Even the idea that "male" and female" are the only two genders isn't universally held across all cultures.

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RE: Masculinity and Feminity - 9/15/2008 12:23:28 AM

Kalista07

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KOM,
i hope this does not seem completly off track however this particular thread has served as some what of a form of enlightenment for me. See, one thing i've always struggled with is not 'feeling feminine is that i have no clue what it even means. It's not like i don't feel like i'm a woman...i know what i am...it's not like at times i don't feel sexy, because i do...But, this term (to me) seems so elusive that i can not get a grasp on it. And now, i feel as though i understand why. Because there is not cut and dry, clear, definition of it. If there were it may be easier for me to figure out if i align with one or the other, or parts of one, or more of one than the other, etc.

Kom, i hope i didn't detract from Your thread to much.
In appreciation and admiration as always,
Kali

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RE: Masculinity and Feminity - 9/15/2008 5:20:38 AM

missturbation

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This kinda made me think of these llines from titanic.

quote:

Rose: "Teach me to ride like a man."
Jack: "And chew tobacco like a man."
Rose: "And...SPIT like a man!"

When i was growing up in the 70's, even early 80's men were still men and women were still women. Then all of a sudden men began emulating women and women began emulating men in a big way. I learnt that to get ahead career wise i had to toughen up, it wasn't going to be enough to use my feminine wiles, i was going to have to take on some mascualine qualities.
Nowadays i think the emulation of men / females by each other has just made masculine / feminine non-gender words. It is natural and perfectly ok in all walks of life for women to show masculine qualities and a little less accepted but getting there for men to show feminine ones.
I show far more traditionally masculine traits in my work life than i do in my personal. I run a pub and you can't be the 'little woman' in my line of work. I have had to adapt to moving 22 gallon barrels of beer on my own, dealing with customers who think because im a woman they can intimidate here. Swearing, big man talk and being able to fight like a man all come in handy here.
In my personal life yes some masculine traits linger but im a lot softer around the edges.

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RE: Masculinity and Feminity - 9/15/2008 6:34:24 AM

stella41b

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There's nothing that exists in this world without polarity. To varying degrees we are all masculine and feminine.

Which is which? This lies in our perception of gender and gender roles. No one aspect of behaviour or character trait is exclusive to a gender, it is only our thinking which makes it so.

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RE: Masculinity and Feminity - 9/16/2008 3:31:41 AM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: E2Sweet

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

...I'll never forget offering my train seat to a heavily pregnant young woman, only to be blasted with "I'm pregnant, NOT bloody crippled!" Yet on another day and another expectant mother, men in general are blasted across the front page for the death of chivalry and good manners etc because someone, somewhere, didn't offer that seat....

I'll have to agree that particular woman's reaction on the train as you describe it was a pretty crappy one to say the least. That's a prefect example of "damned if you do, damned if you don't".

What can you really do except just walk away from that situation knowing you tried to do a good and decent thing...?

The lesson for me was a simple one. I still offer my seat to the ladies (pregnant or not) but I'll NEVER be caught out by an ignorant, unappreciative overreaction again. I've had one or two politely decline since - that's fair enough....

Focus.

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Post #: 46

RE: Masculinity and Feminity - 9/16/2008 3:37:16 AM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Holy Dancing Dildos, Batman!

I'm actually agreeing with Focus.

This can't be fucking happening. It has to be a dream.

See, dreams DO come true! You just keep hangin' round me; all kindza good shit'll rub off on ya.... ;-)

Focus.

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RE: Masculinity and Feminity - 9/18/2008 8:18:36 PM

ITGirl68

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quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

I see these terms as representing characteristics and personality traits. We all have them, it's a matter of what we embrace and what we shun.

I am very practical and logical...(masculine)
I am very touchy feely...(feminine)
I can fix a thing or two, change a tire, check my oil, and I'm not afraid to get dirty when it comes to working in the yard or rehabbing a house...(masculine)
I love shoes and shopping...(feminine)
I am just as comfortable and capable of talking about football with the guys as I am a love story with the girls.
I love both men and women.

There are many more, but the point is, these are all things that make up ME, there is balance in me and I embrace all of the parts of me.

I agree - well said!

I do have to admit that your list made me laugh: my father (to say nothing of most of the men I have known) is totally masculine - and the opposite of a SNAG in most ways - but he is touchy-feely, lives to shop, is totally impractical, and cannot do anything himself related to maintaining the house or yard. In fact, I grew up thinking of these as masculine characteristics!

I love that the 90s helped to further blur that line between what we see as masculine and what we see as feminine.

- Angel

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RE: Masculinity and Feminity - 9/18/2008 11:09:13 PM

VivaciousSub

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This post is very interesting, KOM!

I am oft described as "a guy's girl". For the longest time, I shunned behaviors that would have, in my opinion, marked me as a woman in the stereotypical sense. A lot of that had to do with my upbringing. My extended family is very large - I'm the eldest of 27 cousins on my mother's side - and only 6 of us are female. I was raised to be above all things: logical, direct, tough as nails and a fighter. I never played house growing up, instead I was taught how to hunt, shoot and drive race cars (my father is a racer). Emotions weren't shown in my family whatsoever, except anger, and I couldn't reconcile my emotional, soft side with the very developed "masculine" behaviors I had been taught to display. Somehow, over the years, I had grown to believe that display of "womanly" behaviors was a sign of weakness and to be scorned.

It wasn't until this past New Year that I made the decision to explore and embrace all of me, The reason? The older I got the more I came to realize that I was hurting myself and my psyche by stuffing away the ever growing signs that I had traits that tempered and indeed complimented my highly developed sense of masculinity.

Now, I'm happy to declare myself a woman in all her glory, and to hell with stereotypes. I am so much calmer, secure and confident now that I'm not denying myself the full range of who I am.

I love fast cars, dirt, banging on things with hammers, assembling stuff as well as baking, sewing, quilting, children, a good love story and a good cry and a strong pair of arms to hold me at night.

The important part is to accept all of ourselves, however we are wired and to be comfortable with such.

Labels put us in the position of residing in a very small box with a terrible view.

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RE: Masculinity and Feminity - 9/19/2008 7:32:30 AM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VivaciousSub
Labels put us in the position of residing in a very small box with a terrible view.

great line.... alot of truth in it.

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RE: Masculinity and Feminity - 9/22/2008 8:24:03 PM

LPslittleclip

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the idea that male= masculine, and female =feminine has changed throughout history and society. now in the current age of the INTERNET the defined roles and barriers are being eroded allowing for a more comfortable existence for some. the trouble lies with the indoctrination of our youth to what society wants us to be. from the beginning we are showed what is a male role and a female role, its not till high school or even later that these roles are challenged or different ones offered. our country was founded by the British empire and with that came the views on gender and sexuality. it is only recently that these leftover views are being changed. i for one feel that in the lifestyle there is more freedom to express oneself than in other venues. as far as the original post it may be only that the assumed roles for male and female are allowed to be removed in the lifestyle not an eroding of the values

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