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Taken In Hand & BDSM - 9/8/2008 7:45:16 AM   
Messala


Posts: 11
Joined: 12/12/2007
Status: offline 		Are there other couples on CM that practice more of a Taken In Hand (TIH) and BDSM "hybrid" relationship than full BDSM?

I discovered CM about a year ago and TIH about 8 months ago. I find that I enjoy both lifestyles but lean more to the TIH because its just more practical for my wife & I on a daily basis. But we do have some BDSM sessions that can get quite heated and she certainly enjoys a good spanking. The hybrid of the two relationships work for us - we enjoy our D/s roles, but would probably never go to a fetish party . . . does that make sense?

Surely there must other couples here that have a male-led household with discipline sessions at night - I'd love to hear about those experiences
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Taken In Hand & BDSM - 9/8/2008 8:54:49 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I think that most of us live a hybrid lifestyle of some type.  My marriage was basically TIH with no BDSM.  It became unbalanced when the power went to his head and he no longer cared about my fulfillment.  Mix in anger management issues, alcoholism, and diabetes that he chose not to control and it became a violent and unhealthy situation.

One of the things that I love most about the lifestyle is that each couple in a relationship can choose what works best for them.  Labels usually don't have hard and fast definitions but are flexible depending upon your own dynamic. 


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(in reply to Messala)
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RE: Taken In Hand & BDSM - 9/8/2008 9:16:39 AM   
sunshinedreams


Posts: 181
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		My relationship more resembles TIH, but I have so much fun in the forums here.

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Taken In Hand & BDSM - 9/8/2008 6:16:18 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline 		D/s for me, compliments TIH.  i also emjoy kink, bondage, other elements that make BDSM enjoyable mixed in.  Variety truly is the spice of life.

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Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to sunshinedreams)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Taken In Hand & BDSM - 9/8/2008 6:28:29 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Mostly TIH here.

(in reply to lronitulstahp)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Taken In Hand & BDSM - 9/8/2008 6:29:03 PM   
WhiplashSmile2


Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline 		I googled up this whole Taken In hand business...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taken_in_hand

I have to say I disagree with what was wrote about BDSM relationships in this article. 

Somebody needs to let them know that many people in BDSM lifestyle have Day to Day D/s relationships and it is not all about Scene play as this stupid article suggests.   Also, not everybody is into the Ownership aspects in BDSM lifestyles as well.   Case in point where somebody has wrote something without actually knowing a lot about BDSM and D/s relationships. 

(in reply to Messala)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Taken In Hand & BDSM - 9/8/2008 6:47:07 PM   
VivaciousSub


Posts: 446
Joined: 9/7/2008
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		I just read that Wiki article today, so I'm laughing to come across this.

I thought it was a one-sided load of crap. Whoever the author(s) is/are, clearly haven't spent a whole lot of time around it.


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9.8m/s^2 + VivaciousSub + ground = ouchx10^9th

To yield readily--easily--to the persuasion of a friend is no merit.... To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either. ~ Pride and Prejudice

(in reply to WhiplashSmile2)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Taken In Hand & BDSM - 9/8/2008 6:48:17 PM   
VivaciousSub


Posts: 446
Joined: 9/7/2008
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		Oh, and I was looking more into TIH relationships and came across this website:

www.takeninhand.com

Has a lot of good stuff on there and I'm enjoying the learning process as assigned by Sir.


_____________________________

9.8m/s^2 + VivaciousSub + ground = ouchx10^9th

To yield readily--easily--to the persuasion of a friend is no merit.... To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either. ~ Pride and Prejudice

(in reply to Messala)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Taken In Hand & BDSM - 9/8/2008 8:51:25 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Try using the word "funishment" rather than discipline or punishment.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to VivaciousSub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Taken In Hand & BDSM - 9/9/2008 3:00:56 AM   
VioletAshes


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/16/2008
Status: offline 		I am in what I term a Taken in Hand marriage within which we explore a D/s relationship. The two go hand in hand, discipline and submission are very important to me, and to my Husband.

_____________________________

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm not like other girls that you know
but I believe I'm worth coming home to"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Taken In Hand & BDSM - 9/9/2008 11:42:14 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		TIH relationships are not the same as bdsm because in TIH ones the discipline is not suppossed to be enjoyed or done for fun but rather done for a purpose - real punishment.  i personally think it's a big facade and they simply don't like to admit they like getting their asses beat and beating asses. JMO

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to VioletAshes)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Taken In Hand & BDSM - 9/9/2008 1:32:36 PM   
Messala


Posts: 11
Joined: 12/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

TIH relationships are not the same as bdsm because in TIH ones the discipline is not suppossed to be enjoyed or done for fun but rather done for a purpose - real punishment.  i personally think it's a big facade and they simply don't like to admit they like getting their asses beat and beating asses. JMO


I think it's a mistake to view the relationships as mutually exclusive. As some others have already posted here, the "day-to-day" parts of a relationship may very well be TIH (who here is tied up 24/7?) while other activites are BDSM. Not all punshiment in TIH is serious, much of it is done for "play".

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 12
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