Modern times

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Missokyst -> Modern times (9/7/2008 11:12:42 AM)
I am a woman who works from my home, outside my home, and often in other peoples homes. I also have a house to run. It doesn't matter if my day starts at 8 am and ends at 7pm, I still have to come home and cook, wash clothes ect. My sister does the same job as her husband (they drive buses), and she gets out 15 mins before he does (he goes in 15 mins later). But, she comes home, makes dinner, washes clothes, straightens the house, ect. He no longer does the yard due to some illnesses, but he hires someone to do it. With modern convieniences like dish washers, washing machines and dryers, microwaves, coffee pots that turn themselves on and off, vacuum cleaners, wrinkle resistant clothing, sweepers, ect, life running a home doesn't have the same chore factor as in earlier times. I can recall my mom washing my dads socks on a washboard. I still hand wash my dishes and iron my clothing by choice. Sweeping a carpet is a bitch, beating carpets is even worse. We used to ground garlic, chili, nuts ect, in a rock thing instead of tossing it into a blender.. And if you have ever had to hang wet wash over a clothesline you know that the time and energy it takes is a lot longer than tossing things in a dryer. So.. I was reading a thread in another forum and someone wanted to know about getting recompensated for being a live in slave. Apart from the fact that I think it is hard to forego your life and future social security by not working I have to wonder how hard is it to run a home? I see a lot of people who choose to live as a homemaker and that is fine, it is a choice they make for a variety of reasons. But in that post it was like there was a tally sheet that traded off tit for tat. If you do not work outside the home do you worry about what will happen when that ends? If you do work outside the home are you still able to run your house the way you want it? Is there time in your day to do it all? Kyst

Lockit -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 11:39:20 AM)
It might depend on the home. One time I had a visitor three days in a row. He saw me cleaning every day and I mean cleaning. I had one hyperactive, one special needs and a healthy um. I also had a husband from hell. I worked from five in the morning until midnight. I cooked every meal from scratch. On the third day this visitor said... I have watched you cleaning for three days... how did this get so bad over night? Well... within half an hour of hubby coming home, he has the living room filled with tools, supplies and the like and will make a huge mess so that it looks like this, so no one will think I clean and I am a bad wife. So in that marriage... keeping a home up was a real challenge. lol Sometimes it just depends on who live there!

pahunkboy -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 11:41:45 AM)
A household is meant to be more then one. However in recent times many one person households exist. My one brother, mom,gram 2 best friends myself and 3 buddies from out of state are all one person households. This past winter I entertained the thought of renting a room out. Well when I factored in the extra heat, electric etc... the pay off was minor. and not worth it. when i lived with bob the bigget friction occurred when i became independant enough that i "could"do it all on my own. So now years later. I own and he rents a room above a bar. He walked by last week. Seen me watering the garden. he doesnt know how many live here. he thinks there is another guy. but there isnt. I would never willingly be dependant on someone else. in those days i needed a person the share the rent. these days i dont. yay for mid age.

candystripper -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 11:46:46 AM)
Not to hijack the thread, but wtf is so emasuclating about doing the dishes or cleaning the toilet? Recently a (male) friend of mine showed up at my house. We were going someplace together, and wanted to use the gas in my car. I got in the driver's seat and he looked pole-axed. Throughout the drive (which did not commence until he had gotten in the passenger seat like it was still smoldering) he had trouble following simple conversational tidbits, like, 'so what time did you get up today?' Apparently he was too busy watching out for the magic castration machine that pops up and gets any man sitting in the passenger seat while a woman drives...even if it's her car. This has always driven me batshit. What is this chronic fear of castration? I have never once been scared some thing or another would sew up my pussy. candystripper [sm=pole.gif]

pahunkboy -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 11:53:05 AM)
my brother is that way. He doesnt want anyone else driving. even male.

LaTigresse -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 11:55:24 AM)
Thank god I don't have to deal with that mindset. There is a very masculine male that shares the farm with me. He usually cleans better than I do, does as much laundry, dusting and some of the cooking. Yesterday he was cleaning the floors while I was playing on the computer. We usually commute together to conserve gas and wear on vehicles. I usually drive to where I work while he has his coffee (he is not a morning person and I am, plus I enjoy driving ALOT more than he) and he heads further on to his place of employment. We reverse it on the way home, unless I am not in the mood to drive. It doesn't bother him a bit and I don't have to listen to him bitch about all the other "horrible drivers". We both work, we both share household chores. There is no definition between guy work and woman work.

Missokyst -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 11:56:28 AM)
Yeah it does matter who lives with you! I had four kids and one hubby, it was definitely easier when the hubby became the ex. Getting up at 2 am to cook was never pleasant when there was 3 little ones to get up in the morning. Things were a lot easier when my youngest was born. By that time the others knew how to wash their own clothes, and could cook a meal if it came down to it, though that was rare. Kyst

candystripper -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 12:01:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Thank god I don't have to deal with that mindset. There is a very masculine male that shares the farm with me. He usually cleans better than I do, does as much laundry, dusting and some of the cooking. Yesterday he was cleaning the floors while I was playing on the computer. We usually commute together to conserve gas and wear on vehicles. I usually drive to where I work while he has his coffee (he is not a morning person and I am, plus I enjoy driving ALOT more than he) and he heads further on to his place of employment. We reverse it on the way home, unless I am not in the mood to drive. It doesn't bother him a bit and I don't have to listen to him bitch about all the other "horrible drivers". We both work, we both share household chores. There is no definition between guy work and woman work. Does this idol have brothers? Must you brag to the rest of us so unashamedly? Two things to sue you over, LOL. candystripper [sm=pole.gif]

Lockit -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 12:04:20 PM)
I taught my um's to cook and clean and as soon as they were old enough to take a diaper to the trash, their chores started. They all cook very well, cleaning... well... they have gone slack on that at times. lol They learned that life is a job and one has to do things whether there is someone there to help or not and no job is defined by gender. But, they were also taught to educate themselves and work outside of the home because if something happens, and you don't have insurance, you have to have work hour credits to get disability or retirement benefits. I have always advised stay at home mom's to work at least part time. Never depend on anyone because the minute you do, they may not fail you, but life might challenge you. Be prepared. Being a single mom and working long hours, I had help with the easier things and I did the major cleaning and cooking. Only when I worked around the clock at work was there a problem.

LaTigresse -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 12:05:26 PM)
Nope just one sister, a great mother, and an ex that beat the housework part into him. If he would leave the farm more often I would happily share. Then someone else could put up with his less than endearing traits that more than balance out the ones listed above. Lets just say that neither of us are easy to live with.......AT ALL.

sirsholly -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 12:10:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Sometimes it just depends on who live there! a hero, Lockit [:)]

Lockit -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 12:11:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sirsholly quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Sometimes it just depends on who live there! a hero, Lockit [:)] Gotta be one to know one darlin! hehe

sirsholly -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 12:13:09 PM)
(((((hug)))))

Lockit -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 12:15:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sirsholly (((((hug))))) ((((Hug)))) back at ya! Hope all is well!

Missokyst -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 12:36:55 PM)
Good that someone beat the housework into him! I am in the camp where you are not doing anyone a favor by making them helpless around the house. Mine were taught to cook (if needed) to clean, wash, ect and in general to know they could rely on themselves. As a mom I taught that to my kids.. LOL I wish I had the nerve to teach that to my ex. Three wives later, he still gets waited on and couldn't wash a dish if it came down to it. Kyst

candystripper -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 2:15:34 PM)
Yea, mine is also on his thrird wife and still doesn't know that cold beer is generally found by getting off your ass and opening the refrigerator. He will, however, rebuild your tranny. Go figure. candystripper [sm=pole.gif]

windchymes -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 2:43:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst Good that someone beat the housework into him! I am in the camp where you are not doing anyone a favor by making them helpless around the house. Mine were taught to cook (if needed) to clean, wash, ect and in general to know they could rely on themselves. As a mom I taught that to my kids.. LOL I wish I had the nerve to teach that to my ex. Three wives later, he still gets waited on and couldn't wash a dish if it came down to it. Kyst When my male UM's were 14, I taught them how to run the washing machine, sew a button on a shirt, wash dishes by hand (cause we never had a dishwasher....I always said "We already have two!"), and how to cook when they were even younger. I always swore I would not send two more helpless men out into the world. Both their fiances have thanked me [:)]

Vendaval -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 6:20:06 PM)
Dirt and grease do not discriminate. I would never be able to be a stay at home type, even if by some rare twist of fate I had a very wealthy partner. There is too much going on in the outside world, so much to learn and explore and experience.

candystripper -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 6:29:45 PM)
I spent a very, very interesting part of my life 'at home' after giving birth and for the following few years. Seeing things through the eyes of a brand new person was absolutely enchanting, and I do thank my ex for giving us that time. However, when it ended abruptly and I went to law school, I didn't realize at first that adults were as fascinating in their own way. Two weeks of culture shock, and no way would I ever go back. candystripper [sm=pole.gif]

OneMoreWaste -> RE: Modern times (9/7/2008 7:10:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper I got in the driver's seat and he looked pole-axed. Throughout the drive (which did not commence until he had gotten in the passenger seat like it was still smoldering) he had trouble following simple conversational tidbits, like, 'so what time did you get up today?' Apparently he was too busy watching out for the magic castration machine that pops up and gets any man sitting in the passenger seat while a woman drives...even if it's her car. Maybe it's just your driving? [:D]

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