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SteelofUtah -> RE: Meeting People Off The Internet (8/27/2008 11:20:02 AM)
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In quick response..... well as quick as I am capable of being as long winded as I am
The difference between BDSM and Other Activities is the nature of the meeting. In many situations with BDSM we meet with the purpose of being something to the other. There is a Power Dynamic, if not actually in place, looming over the interaction.
Sure this person may not be your (Enter Title Here) but they could be, and this meeting face to face is where it all starts. This meeting is where they are judging you at your most vulnerable, there is no back space here, there is no typing one thing and thinking another. You can't just put your best foot forward like you have been, this is the real world, what you say and do has consequences that will follow this relationship from this point on.
Mind you I find the everything above to be nothing more than practice in anxiety. See way too much is put in the first meeting. Far too many fears, Far too many expectations. I know some people get upset with the amount of generalities I use, even at the stereotypes I believe in but I know from my experiences that I'm not alone when I meet someone for the first time and I wonder where this will go, or if we will be good friends. It isn't always the sexuality of BDSM but just the like minded connections we make.
I have friends on this board, I call them I talk to them, we joke, we flirt, at times we even talk about what could potentially happen between us should we meet up for a weekend. At all times it is light hearted, until it comes time to follow through, then all those things we hinted at and flirted around become more than possible they become probable and so what was once fun and light hearted becomes awkward or even passionate and one wonders what happens next.
I get why people are scared, I just don't understand how people can spend so much of their life never knowing what COULD happen because they live in fear of what ELSE could happen.
BDSM is different only in that we place a premium on the activities or social interactions that we desire and many ignore the idea that a healthy physical relationship has to have a healthy foundation and times we don't want to build the physical foundation after spending so much time forging the Emotional Foundation over the Internet. I have learned that I might be able to touch someones heart long before they are ready for me to touch their body and this is part of forging a relationship too.
Or then again maybe I am alone in this belief system, either way them's my two cents.
Steel
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