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RE: subs with a temper - 8/18/2008 8:46:20 PM

daddysliloneds

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every man, woman and child that i've ever encountered in my entire life has a temper; now choosing how to handle it is a whole other ball of wax.

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RE: subs with a temper - 8/19/2008 9:44:56 AM

BadJohn

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It is a lovely sight. Muscles standing out, neck tendons like cords, eyes blazing. An enraged submissive is a lovely thing to view. Just be sure there are lots of chains. Bite marks take a long time to heal.

Then later, when she's calmed herself, she is so thankful for the opportunity for release that she's more complient than one can imagine

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RE: subs with a temper - 8/19/2008 9:56:18 AM

subtee

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Hot...

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RE: subs with a temper - 8/19/2008 10:11:27 AM

Madame4a

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From: Washington, DC area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: moMogan

For the doms/dommes out there, have you ever had a sub with a temper?
For the subs, have you ever been one?
How did you handle it and how did the relationship work out? I've found the being stubborn also comes with being tempermental, so please include any insight on that as well. I appreciate any and all answers/comments.

Not for long ... losing one's temper is a sign of lack of self control

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RE: subs with a temper - 8/19/2008 10:25:35 AM

subtee

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You know what? I'm passionate. I get pissed off. And I like passionate people. And they get pissed off. Is everyone counting to 20?

I'm not going to throw myself on the floor and pound my fists and stomp my feet....but occasionally He may need to grab me by the hair, pull my head back, look straight into my eyes and....

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RE: subs with a temper - 8/19/2008 10:41:37 AM

batshalom

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Oh my heavens yes I have a temper.

I'm a single mom with two fairly young children and I'm a fulltime student. I have a mortgage, a house to keep decently clean, regular troubles like regular people. My mother drives me batshit sometimes, my ex-husband is a very sweet man but doesn't discipline the children at ALL which makes me the bad guy (although he does do my home repairs ... so ... not such a bad tradeoff) and I have ten pets. My life can be a circus.

My Sir is a demanding man who takes great pleasure in trying to drive me crazy. He loves to push my buttons, and always has, even when we weren't involved.

Temper tantrums, however, I do not throw. I might go quiet. I might be churlish and give curt answers. I might have to remove myself from the situation and go drive or shop or whatever. Tantrums, while they can alleviate stress, can also feed the anger and prolong it (as can forcing yourself to swallow it without dealing with it). I try to express my anger calmly (doesn't always work as well as I'd like it to) and excuse myself when I'm not around my Dom. When I am around my Dom I express my anger as calmly as possible and ask to be excused. Sometimes he breaks out in laughter and embraces me (which works pretty well) and tells me he's sorry to be so difficult. Sometimes he tells me to deal with it and to continue with my tasks or whatever, so I deal with the anger after he's finished with me.

That is not to say I don't get my point across. In fact, I think he takes a perverse pleasure in my stubborn refusal to blow up and to continue on with his tasks after I have expressed my displeasure (which, in turn, gives me a surprising amount of satisfaction at being such a control freak, pleasing him as I freakishly control myself).

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RE: subs with a temper - 8/19/2008 10:49:15 AM

SinLee

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Usually what comes across as me "having a temper tantrum" or something similar has very little to do with anger at all. for me it is a defense mechanism that i have been trying very hard to overcome. It comes out when i am hurt, typically to the point that will make me sob uncontrollably. Using "anger" and lashing out were a learned defense mechanism based on years of being told by various partners "i can't understand you when you're crying... you need to stop crying." It was the only way i could explain to them what was upsetting me in a way they would understand. Unfortunately, the backlash is while they may understand, they don't want to hear it in that manner either (hence working on unlearning the behavior). As for one being able to control their actions, while that may be true for most people most of the time, I have multiple psychiatric disorders that at times have forced me to act on impulse. For those that cannot or will not accept these parts of my personality, and help me in my task of learning to overcome them... those are the ones I obviously do not seek for any type of lasting relationship, platonic, vanilla or D/s.

sin

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RE: subs with a temper - 8/19/2008 1:31:07 PM

Nitefalls1000

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I use a strap

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RE: subs with a temper - 8/19/2008 8:20:24 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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Yes it is immature and yes it is weak, but you know people can't be strong all the time and childhood lasts throughout all of your life. I mean let's face it, people only lose their tempers when they've got the wrong end of the stick, they're confronted with something they don't understand, they're disappointed, or they're taking something, someone or themselves way too seriously.

I agree with this statement from Stella, good posting....may I also add, anger is also experienced when there is a lack of choice in a given situation so thus you feel impotent......Tempting

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RE: subs with a temper - 8/23/2008 8:18:37 AM

TwilightShadows

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I'm a sub with a temper. The first time I was face slapped I saw my fist flying through the air at said slapper, and was just able to stop myself before impact. But that was more of a instinctual, reflexive response that a tempermental one.

The Dom that I see often is such a strong, silent type that he is often difficult to hear even. On the reverse of that, he's not the type of fella you want to push or behave dishonorably with. He is ammiable and quite caring, but dominant as hell, and when those blue eyes are ablaze with a real intent to "make an adjustment" in my behavior - it's "sit a pillow for a week" time.

As with anything, you just have to learn appropriate situations in which to express yourself. That's what kick boxing class is for!

< Message edited by TwilightShadows -- 8/23/2008 8:22:43 AM >

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RE: subs with a temper - 8/23/2008 8:22:50 AM

colouredin

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I dunno if its really a temper but i have mood swings sometimes quite violent and to be honest i dont think its a big deal, we are all (shock horror) human beings none of us are infallible and we all show pretty much all of the shit characteristics that there are, its just a case of percentage of that against the nice qualities

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