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Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 4:58:44 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I found myself having to be NOT a nice guy yesderday at dealing with a car repair shop, and my outcome was to my benefit. So the question is, how are your goals coming along, what do you do when you hit a wall?  How do you keep on track? and does being nice ruin you progress?

[everyone is SO busy- at times one has to speak up]

Next- the question is have you ever been a pioneer in anything?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 6:02:35 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Ya know, I believe there is a fine art of speaking up for yourself that doesnt cross over into being pushy. 
It's tough to learn for many of us, and was for me as I often found myself giving up.  But I've found that staying on task even after being led off topic is usually my best bet.  Honestly it's simply a form of communication sprinkled with an ounce of respect for all involved.  It's all in building good people skills. 


_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 6:08:56 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		well I need to build people skills.  I grew up in a big metro.  I was raised that being vocal is good.  [Chicago]  When I moved to rural PA in 1988, I stepped on toes.  One simply can not talk -push- compel in a small town. It back fires.  You can make things hard on you this way.

Im suppose to meet to go over paperwork. Well in 2 weeks 3 calls...no progress. So I called her superviser. OK- so that got the papers mailed. Now to arrange an appointment. I was clear to the receptionist that all I needed was an appointment. ZAP voice mail.  So the next day, I called collect- person to person. She was MAD. She had been teaching a seminar.  So she phoned me later and now I have an appointment. [this matter is connnected to home reodlling and I dont have forever witht he permit]

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 6:10:09 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I try to be nice because I hate the thought of burning bridges.  I've seen people get opportunities when they least expected them and when they weren't asked for, and from surprising sources.  I always hold hope that something like that can happen for me.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to pahunkboy)
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RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 6:15:13 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I try to be nice because I hate the thought of burning bridges.  I've seen people get opportunities when they least expected them and when they weren't asked for, and from surprising sources.  I always hold hope that something like that can happen for me.

Understood.  I still must complete 2 or more tasks.

1. tax appeal
2.  figureing out the entagled student loan.  arghhhhhhhhhhh!

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 6:51:21 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Is it deja vu or did you ask this same question about a year ago?


(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 7:12:56 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Is it deja vu or did you ask this same question about a year ago?




Gloria -Gloria - Gloria.

Us frequent posters, never ,ever,I repeat, never repeat ourselfs.

Im sure you have something to say...  spill it girlfriend!

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 7:20:44 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		What time do you wake up on Sundays?  I've gots a very long drive every Sunday around 8am your time.

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 9:45:56 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I try to be nice because I hate the thought of burning bridges.  I've seen people get opportunities when they least expected them and when they weren't asked for, and from surprising sources.  I always hold hope that something like that can happen for me.

Understood.  I still must complete 2 or more tasks.

1. tax appeal
2.  figureing out the entagled student loan.  arghhhhhhhhhhh!



Student loan?
What's that all about, you going to school for something?

_____________________________

"But Your Honor, this is not a Jury of my Peers, these people are all decent, honest, law-abiding citizens!"

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 10:12:06 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		the loan is 22 years old.  

so no.  :-)

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 10:40:19 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I grew up where you had to use your fist as well as your smarts to survive.  There were times when your smarts could talk your way through something and times with it was time to duke it out.  You learned to do both.  In adulthood, I learned to do more talking and set out to make changes in area's I felt needed changes.  I will never forget a friend who was a police officer telling me that I better shut up or I could dissappear one day, I was stirring things up.  That only made me more determined.

I try to not burn bridges, but if I must, I will.  I was arguing with the congress woman's office the other day and can remember thinking... I was arguing with the congress woman's office and that can't be good (!), but I continued to prove my point.  Now, my son's case was put at the top of the list and we didn't get our thirty day notice of the hearing.  Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do and hope for the best.  It helps to be savy, know what is going on and be right and very lucky.

Has every issue/cause/struggle I have fought for gone well... no... I have hit a lot of walls.  You make friend with the wall and continue till the next one.  There is a difference in being nice or a push over or defending your right/cause/belief.  Even in a healthy debate, I can still be friends or nice... we just happen to come from different places for a time.  But in those situations where need be... I can be one real bitch and not have one ounce of regret or shame.

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 12:43:29 PM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		I have found a formula that seems to work, act stupid, thick, unknowing, as I have found people like to feel they are superior through the knowlege they have, which they think I don't have. Often this gets things done, as the person concerned not only likes to talk superior, but also delights in demonstrating their superiority by giving an apparent thicko a break.

The other thing I use is something quite uncommon now it seems, is manners and gracious actions often this works well combined with the acting thick method.


_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 1:58:08 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I have found a formula that seems to work, act stupid, thick, unknowing, as I have found people like to feel they are superior through the knowlege they have, which they think I don't have. Often this gets things done, as the person concerned not only likes to talk superior, but also delights in demonstrating their superiority by giving an apparent thicko a break.

The other thing I use is something quite uncommon now it seems, is manners and gracious actions often this works well combined with the acting thick method.



Manners are faaaaaaabulous! It also pays to keep a "big picture" mindset.

Example: I order supplies here daily. Most things our vendors are supposed to be able to supply to us the following business day. Quite often it is not possible, for various reasons. They call and explain the situation to me and ask if it will be a problem.

Now, I could be an alarmist ass and remind them of their next day policy. However, I take it on a case by case basis. Usually we really do not need it the next day.

However, if I really do need it the next day, I tell them so. I usually get it. They know I am accomodating most of the time and not prone to hysterical demands.

On rare occasions when they drop the ball and don't follow through on a delayed shipment, do not call to advise me of the problem, and try to bullshit me and lie to me....... Then they know I am upset and all hell breaks loose. They just don't expect sweet, friendly, polite LeeAnn to get cold and call them on their shit.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 2:19:17 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		I always get their name first.

If there is a problem, I focus on the solution. LaT is right on, manners work. No matter how much I get deflected I say things like, "how can I help you to XXX" whatever it is.

They are people and their job sucks, so, you know.

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 6:17:41 PM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		Furthermore, if someone does go that extra mile  to help me, I always by email, letter or phone inform the management how helpful and friendly the person was in their interaction with me. If someone gives me a break,does a good job or is especially helpful,  then I will attempt to give that person a break in their work place.

I suppose there is no reason to be negative with people doing their job, if they are a bit off, then perhaps there is a reason, they might be having a bad day, people are only human, if a person is consistently off with me, I simply take my business elsewhere or manage without. Odd thing is, often managing without opens up new doors of possibility.


_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/15/2008 8:55:06 PM   
corsetgirl


Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		Well today, I hit a huge brick wall but I just pick myself up, dust off, and keep going.  I am trying to start a career in teaching, have all of the requirements done but this economy really sucks in my homestate. I am also aware the competition for teaching positions is rough!

For the most part, I try to step back, assess the situation and calmly make a decision.  If I feel that the business is not serving me well as a customer, I go elsewhere. I will even tell my friends about my experience.  Sometimes, word of mouth has a very powerful element to a business.  

< Message edited by corsetgirl -- 8/15/2008 8:56:57 PM >

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Lets talk about YOU - 8/16/2008 4:59:20 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Cor, get in as a sub.   there are 700 aps on file for a teaching job at Lewisburg. PA   the subs do pull in some cash tho

(in reply to corsetgirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
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