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RE: submitting to - submission of - 8/13/2008 11:38:29 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I always say that I bottomed to him for months before I submitted. Because it took that long for him to gain enough of my trust that I could turn stuff over for his control. As far as others telling you how to do stuff, tell them to stuff it! It's whatever fulfills you and your partner, nobody else has a vote. And if a potential partner wants something you aren't comfortable with in such a new relationship, then they aren't the right person for you now.

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RE: submitting to - submission of - 8/13/2008 3:32:11 PM

NeedingMore220

Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
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quote:

in compartmentalising the D/s from the BDSM i realise that trusting the man and submitting to physical play with him, i can let that dynamic work whilst my gradual submission to him as my D/s partner slowly unfurls.

I really like the way you put this, lally. Unfurls is a great word to describe how easing into the D/s feels for me...

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RE: submitting to - submission of - 8/13/2008 6:37:52 PM

patina

Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
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Greetings All:

I submit, as it is my nature, but I feel that submitting to just anyone or everyone is a mistake. I fight that all the time within myself as I have such a submissive nature and all my life I have either submitted or been the negotiator for everyone.

I do not trust at first, though I do trust too quickly. I am learning to not jump in so quickly now.    I have to also caution myself, as the ways of Gor are so different I can, without thinking submit when I should not. In Gor when we chose to beg for the collar it is a case of no limits, no saying I will not do that. So trust is a very big part of our lives from the very start.

I do not mean to insult any part of the bdsm at all, i just prefer the Gorean ways, and I post on all threads whichever catches my interest.
      patina

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RE: submitting to - submission of - 8/13/2008 8:06:10 PM

djaleksandr

Posts: 203
Joined: 3/10/2008
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I totally agree with the difference between submission and bottoming: there is a different level of submission. The submission of the flesh to blows, to pain or rope, and the submission of the person to another person.

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the narrowest path is always the holiest.
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suffer some misery,
if you want my love.'
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RE: submitting to - submission of - 8/14/2008 5:06:24 AM

lally3

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Joined: 3/4/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I always say that I bottomed to him for months before I submitted. Because it took that long for him to gain enough of my trust that I could turn stuff over for his control. As far as others telling you how to do stuff, tell them to stuff it! It's whatever fulfills you and your partner, nobody else has a vote. And if a potential partner wants something you aren't comfortable with in such a new relationship, then they aren't the right person for you now.

thank you for this - it describes this perfectly.

i have never bottomed to anyone before. i have no idea how to get into the headspace of submitting to play without submission in place. but i am going to trust his experience and i like him alot, so im just going to run with it.

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Post #: 25