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Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 2:01:01 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

In another thread I had posted this thought....

"Master, please I am here to absorb your anger and pain, please hurt me.. use me as an outlet to your pain, so that it releases you from the demons within"...

I discovered this mind blowing concept a long time again, when somebody offered their body for me to physically take out my pain and anger at the moment. At first this threw my mind for a loop, why anybody sane would literally offer themselves to somebody in a not so pleasent state of mind.

However, they wanted to literally absorb and become the outlet for my hurt and anger at the time.

call this a form of a sub/slave being a sort of emotional sin eater.

Anyways, I have not seen or read any threads on this topic yet. I'm interested in thoughts, perspectives and those who have engaged in S&M with this specific intent. Be it a one time event, on rare occasions or more frequently.

I'm unterested hearing from those who have offered themselves in this manner. Those who have had somebody offer themselves like this to. Those who actually engage in doing this.

Post #: 1

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 3:40:21 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

Sure I offered myself in that manner. Sometimes I didn't offer but he used me in that manner of his own accord. I was a great outlet for him to relax with and work his frustrations out on. This doesn't mean he thrashed me harder than I could handle, or that he thrashed me without regard to my well being. He always had my well being in mind, but it was still a great release for him to take out the belt or assortment of floggers or his hand, for that matter, and have a go at me. It went with my job description.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 2

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 3:55:58 AM

sillyslaveboy

Posts: 169
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline

Being a stress buster is a great thing. :) In the lack of Dommes and Mistresses, i offer myself often to my Female friends who come to complain on that-and-that. But they never got me seriously ... :(

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 3

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 5:12:56 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Hmmmmm... I always thought of the other side of this. If a submissive is stressed out, a good session will do her a world of good.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sillyslaveboy)

Post #: 4

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 5:16:58 AM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

I've offered myself in that capacity before. I'd do it again if Santa needed the outlet. My offer was refused before. I don't know if Santa would refuse or not, probably would.

I've listened to people talking and heard Tops talk about how beating someone after a very difficult day at work helped them work out the angst. They admitted that it wasn't something they should be admitting but that it was their reality. I think it's more prevalent than many people want to believe.

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 5

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 5:30:54 AM

OTKkindaGirl

Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
Status: offline

through one of the most stressful times of my life is how i found the maso within. what a release to have my emotional turmoil and pain taken through physical pain!

when i am not stressed or in turmoil i have offered myself up to absorb someone elses "need" for sadistic release. it's a totally different mindset and sometimes feels a bit more extreme in the pain department than when dealing with my own demons.

_____________________________

~~ lil darlin' ~~
hope

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 6

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 6:03:59 AM

pompeii

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline

Works the same with pleasure ...

(in reply to OTKkindaGirl)

Post #: 7

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 6:15:10 AM

HeidiAnn

Posts: 113
Joined: 12/16/2007
Status: offline

i have offered myself for the same purpose, but the person i belong to refused my offer. She was scared of losing control and hurting me too badly. The offer still stands. :)

heidi

_____________________________

"The most difficult thing is trying not to forget who you really want to be." - Nong Toom

(in reply to OTKkindaGirl)

Post #: 8

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 6:28:23 AM

Maxwell67

Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Hmmmmm... I always thought of the other side of this. If a submissive is stressed out, a good session will do her a world of good.

That is how I thought of it also. I must admit, however, that I do find it cathartic and I always have. Not that I ever struck Mine in anger. I never have. To my mind, that would have been abuse. I would like to think that if I ever did that she would have had the sense to protect herself rather than put up with it because it is not what our play time was ever about. Sure, I can take offense once in a while, and even get a bit worked up, but I have never been physically hurtful in anger. I have found when I take my anger out on something it is my words that do the damage, not my fists.

Then again, it may be that it is because of our sessions that I am able to manage my life in this way. I saw my share of physical abuse as a child. I read all the time that violence begets violence, so by those accounts I should be the wife-beating type.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 9

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 6:29:20 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I've had slave also offer that to me but except for one occasion do not take them up on the offer. For me, I think it more responsible to learn to express my feelings in non-physical ways and to turn learn to cope with the reality of life that things will not always go my way.

When I am calmer something I have done is use my authority to boss my slave around more intensity for a period of time to sort of reconnect with my sense of power and authority. That does not risk harming him physically and it's never about humiliation or dangerous orders so we can both enjoy it... or as he say "he gets to just react and not have to think" for a while.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 10

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 6:44:26 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Hmmmmm... I always thought of the other side of this. If a submissive is stressed out, a good session will do her a world of good.

You are right about that Steven. I have asked Him for a good session because I needed a good cathartic release of tears due to emotional or mental stresses. He takes me there, then holds me and wipes away my tears.

But like O4SS posted, I am ready and willing to be His stress reliever.

The thing is that, for us, "absorbing His pain" or stresses isn't always in the form of Him giving me pain. Sometimes He just wants to wrap Himself around me and cuddle. Sometimes He just wants a long, sloppy blowjob. Sometimes He just wants to talk about stuff that's bothering Him.

And yes, sometimes He wants really rough sex or a good session.

Whatever He needs at that moment, I do my best to be that for Him.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 11

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 7:31:15 AM

OTKkindaGirl

Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
Status: offline

ahhhh yes, i've had my fair share of tears from extreme euphoric pleasure. but i'm not one to highjack a thread...... that often.

it is possible to experience pleasure from pain too, you know.

_____________________________

~~ lil darlin' ~~
hope

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 12

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 8:16:51 AM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline

I've been this for My Lord. I didn't offer, but willingly submitted when I knew he was in a place of emotional need. When we were done I asked, "Feel better?" he said yes and held me and loved me. I knew his state of mind going in, and I initiated the sex. I decided, if the need arose, I would offer myself up next time. It was cathartic for us both, and he was very controlled, taking care not to let his emotions overrule his love for me. I will definitely do this again, perhaps even when I am hurting.

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to OTKkindaGirl)

Post #: 13

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 8:28:09 AM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

In another thread I had posted this thought....

"Master, please I am here to absorb your anger and pain, please hurt me.. use me as an outlet to your pain, so that it releases you from the demons within"...

I discovered this mind blowing concept a long time again, when somebody offered their body for me to physically take out my pain and anger at the moment. At first this threw my mind for a loop, why anybody sane would literally offer themselves to somebody in a not so pleasent state of mind.

However, they wanted to literally absorb and become the outlet for my hurt and anger at the time.

call this a form of a sub/slave being a sort of emotional sin eater.

Anyways, I have not seen or read any threads on this topic yet. I'm interested in thoughts, perspectives and those who have engaged in S&M with this specific intent. Be it a one time event, on rare occasions or more frequently.

I'm unterested hearing from those who have offered themselves in this manner. Those who have had somebody offer themselves like this to. Those who actually engage in doing this.

I've offered. but, he said "no" ..

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 14

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 9:15:33 AM

Maxwell67

Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave
"Master, please I am here to absorb your anger and pain, please hurt me.. use me as an outlet to your pain, so that it releases you from the demons within"...

I'm unterested hearing from those who have offered themselves in this manner. Those who have had somebody offer themselves like this to. Those who actually engage in doing this.

I've offered. but, he said "no" ..

A good thing too. It really does look noble on the outside doesn't it? Full of love and self-sacrifice? But is it?

Or do you just want to get kinky while your Master is pissed? No actually I am just kidding... I am sure that is not what would be on your mind.

But to offer yourself as a stand-in for the object that is the focus of of your Master's anguish or anger or what-you-will is to offer to become something that in all probability does not deserve to be martyred like that. When I hurt Mine it is with loving hands. If Mine offered herself to me this way, I think I would be very hurt. It would be like her asking me to make love to my own weakness, which, when you think about it is a really cruel thing to say to someone. And I think there would be no way to tell her that because the sacrifice in itself is beautiful enough not to mar it by making her feel guilty on top of feeling impotent (which obviously is why she offered herself, since she could see no other way to alleviate the pain other than to act as a sponge for it)... and that would only hurt more.

My strong advice... Don't do that.

Offer you passion, not your willingness to stand-in for . It might yeild the same results, but at least it will not be linked to the pain and anger. Does that make sense to anyone but me?

< Message edited by Maxwell67 -- 8/6/2008 9:17:14 AM >

(in reply to TysGalilah)

Post #: 15

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 9:22:34 AM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

~FR~
As i am unowned and play with several partners who really have no emotional tie to me aside from friendship, it is hard for me to find the submission in a session. If im not careful i find it to be more of a service top situation quite quickly and in response to this i tend to get a bit bossy or directive on how i am used. This goes against my grain in several ways and leaves me cold at times as im waiting to submit fully to a man that i can respect.
That being said, i have offered myself to be used cathartically to only one of my partners and he did take me up on it. The pattern of me mentioning in conversation what i might want and then getting it...or placing my order as i am prone to say to others, was set aside and i was used in a fashion i was completely unaccustomed to...it was so completely hot that i still to this day think of things that happened. My tolerance for the pain was not considered (in my mind anyway...he always considers my safety and well being) My wishes were not solicited nor were they met that day. i was used in the best most accurate sense of the word and it brought us closer as friends afterward. It also showed me a small slice of what true submission will be like and i must say that it struck a chord in me. My need to serve is well hidden in daily life...the depths to which i will go are a secret to most people. Its just not a good idea to advertise that sort of thing.
After that session he stated that he felt a release he hadnt had for a long time and was grateful for it and that made me feel closer to him as well. i informed him of the intense emotions it brought to me as well and we had many conversations about my potential.
All in all, and well after the fact, i highy recommend offering oneself to absorb your Doms pain... qualified with the obvious that you should be able to trust that your safety is paramount.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to TysGalilah)

Post #: 16

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 11:29:37 AM

IvyMorgan

Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline

I've asked for pain when my head has been a mess because I know it's one of the most effective ways to clear it and help rebalance me.

I've also played with Doms who were stressed/upset/going through sh*t. Not necessarily purely as a masochist, sometimes it's sensation play, which is calming, sometimes it's as a hypnotist, because, well, that's like a big mental cuddle.

Way back when I'd be the thing that people took out their anger and aggression on, resiliant little thing that I was. I don't intend to be in the same situation again, if I offer now (as a masochist), it's an informed choice because I care about the person I'm offering to, the offer is made from a place of love. I don't take the place of the thing they hate, just give them a forum to work through their emotions. I can do it with traditional therapy, hypnosis, etc, but sometimes, aggressive play is the most effective way to get to where you want/need to be.

(in reply to persephonee)

Post #: 17

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 12:30:24 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

I love that phrase "emotional sin eater". I've followed the mythology of the "sin eater" for a while now, but it never occurred to me to apply it in this context. I have made this offer to another, and suffered his pain so that he could let it go, but I've done it as a priest on a path that still recognizes the value of pushing the limits of body and mind.

CFB

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 18

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 1:54:01 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

i serve my Master in this way regularly, whenever he needs it. tho we wouldn't refer to it as "S&M" or scening, so much as him just beating the snot outta me, lol. seriously, if he's had an especially trying, stressful day, it's only natural that he (or any man) is going to need an outlet for that frustration and sometimes even anger. sometimes lifting weights is enough, other times he needs to beat his slave. when he's in that state i can always read it in his eyes and body language, so i know what's coming. i wouldn't offer myself to him as described in the OP because that is not something permitted in our relationship, but i welcome his use of me in that way and i'm thankful that i'm able to help him return to a calm, collected state of mind. a bit of suffering is certainly worth that.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 19

RE: Let me absorb your pain. - 8/6/2008 2:58:00 PM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
Status: offline

ditto......it was not about me at all...but him needing the release.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

Sure I offered myself in that manner. Sometimes I didn't offer but he used me in that manner of his own accord. I was a great outlet for him to relax with and work his frustrations out on. This doesn't mean he thrashed me harder than I could handle, or that he thrashed me without regard to my well being. He always had my well being in mind, but it was still a great release for him to take out the belt or assortment of floggers or his hand, for that matter, and have a go at me. It went with my job description.

_____________________________

We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 20

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