Stole my fantasy and gave me a limit.

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Stole my fantasy and gave me a limit. - 8/5/2008 10:22:30 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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So saturday night i'm in the land of nod when someone switches my bedroom light off. I hate to sleep alone in the dark. The sound of the switch disturbs me and i roll over to look. I thought it was my bar man who lives with me going downstairs to do the cleaning but the legs i saw weren't his. He always wears shorts to clean and this person had trackies and white trainers on. My bar man also does not own white trainers.
I am frozen to the spot, someone i don't know is stood in my bedroom doorway. I pretend to still be asleep and he after what seems like an eternity moves away from my doorway. I hear his creeping footsteps going down to my bar mans room and opening his door, then silence. I dare not move still, dare not try to call the police. He then closes said door and comes back along the landing. He goes down the stairs, thank god i think, hes going.
I listen to him rattling around downstairs still not daring to do anything. The floors are bare wood so noisy and everything can be heard between floors, so a call is still out of the question. However im thinking he'll help himself to a few spirit bottles (i run a pub), and leave by the fire exit.
No such luck he comes back upstairs. He stands again in my doorway. Eventually i think i have to do something, so i sit up and say 'what are you doing?' Turns out it is one of the local youngish lads and he reckons i locked him in the pub when i closed up 5 hours earlier at midnight.
The rest of the tale is really aside from the point but for those curious to know, he was in that day but left at 6.30pm and spent his evening at another local pub. He then went to take shit loads of drugs at a friends house, leaving at 4.45am. That is when he must have decided to break into my pub / home.
I escorted him of my premises as i saw it to be the best thing to do, to play along with i'd locked him in. As soon as he left we scoured the building to find out how he had got in and called the police. They are doing their best to find him but he seems to have disappeared.
All he got away with was ten cigarettes that were on my bed and half a san miguel lager. That however is not the point, he scared the living shit out of me and for a second, however dramatic it seems, i thought he was going to kill or rape me!
How does this relate to BDSM? Well i had a fantasy about someone breaking in and raping me. Rape play as from now is a hard limit for me. I know this may be only temporary but still!
So it got me to thinking, as much to take my mind of how terrified i still am as anything, if others out there have limits that are caused by real life traumatic events?
All my 'limits', i don't really have them as such, but i do have things i dislike have been pretty much just phobia or don't fancy / don't like doing stuff so far. Apart from canes which was caused by a miss hit, but i do still 'play' with canes anyway.
Really i think i just need to hear i'm not alone in this.

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