|
elleelisa -> RE: He doesn't call... (8/5/2008 11:27:56 AM)
|
I know my post was sort of vague with the details, but I'll answer as best I can to some of these responses... Thanks to ALL of you for your input. The comment, "I know the answer but I'm just trying to find a way to justify what I want," is only partly true. I have this tendency to over-analyze my over-analysis, which leaves my head spinning and clouds my inntuition.
quote:
ORIGINAL: MistressSybella
quote:
ORIGINAL: elleelisa
I want to get to know him first and be comfortable before getting into the sex-talk/ BDSM stuff, but we already got into it after 10 min. on the telephone.
I couldn't believe my eyes when I read that. If you want to get to know someone first before TALKING about sex, why did you screw him right away the first time around? It's ok to do it but it's not ok to talk about it?? Ay, yi yi!
Now that you are talking again, tell him that you were upset, and why. Then, talk about sex and your expectations. About the bit about when to obey, be yourself not who you think this stranger wants you to be. And don't ever, ever, EVER, have sex with someone (a stranger) again, just because you want to be pleasing.
That last sentence hit home because... I think that's what I did. I know that comes off as RIDICULOUSLY hypocritical and silly. I never intended on "playing" with him on the first date, but it just sort of happened. I don't think I actually enjoyed it at the time, and right after left I actually said out loud in the car, "What was that?" and then I literally started singing "Moments in the Woods," Sondheim-style. I felt like I was almost not in control of it (lame-- I know, I know). I've grown a little wiser since that experience though and have changed a few of my "no-nos" one being that I will not drive to meet a guy again, period. Second date? Sure. First date? No. He actually asked me to drive down there during yesterday's conversation to "spend the day with him" and I told him that I wouldn't drive down.
After reading all of these great responses, I know that this isn't the right situation for me and I need to just grow a pair and tell the guy. On top of the red-flags and the fact that I don't think I even have time for a relationship or am ready, he lives 75 miles away and logistically I can't date someone that far anyway... I really don't have weekends, ha.
quote:
Sheez, one week isn't very long. Do you have any idea what was going on in his life during that one week? Was he out of town on business? quote:
ORIGINAL: leadership527
It was actually during the fires last year and he lives close to them, so that was his excuse. Even so, in today's day and age, I don't think there is ANY reason why you shouldn't be able to call someone during a week's time. All it would have taken was a 30 sec. conversation in which he could have said, "Hey, I can't really talk now but I just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking about you and that I will call you at the end of the week." The fact that he didn't do this in my young opinion says WONDERS and well, a small red-flag will only get bigger. In terms of me calling him, I think that since I drove down to visit him, the least he could do is call me to see if I got home safely, etc... I didn't think it felt right to call him.
Bottom Line:
I think when the right man comes along in the right situation, I'll know and there won't be any need to gather advice from a forum, hehe. If something doesn't feel right, it usually isn't right, and I have pretty good instincts. Do I listen to them? No, and I think I need to work on this along with loving myself and demanding that others respect me and my wishes. With that said, thank you all for your input.
-Danielle <3
|
|
|
|
