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HollywoodExecDom -> RE: Opinions on Dom (8/4/2008 6:51:00 PM)
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Some of the nicest people I know are fellow Doms - and usually the nicer they are, the more capable their subs report them to be.
From what I've found, most "good" Doms, are exceedingly polite and well natured. Personally, I don't consider the antisocial behavior typified by "mean people" as particularly dominant by definition - as it generally is the product of inadequacies and a failure to command society and control surroundings.
But that aside, I too have heard the refrain "You seem too nice to be a Dom." I tend to revel in it, because one, I'm secure enough in myself to not want to change my attitude to reflect a typification of domination. I view it contradictory to submit to an external conception of what a Dom is supposed to be. Secondly, I like to defy people's expectations. I love surprising subs when they find out perhaps I'm more than I seem.
Plus, another advantage of being a nice Dom is that most subs don't want to be in a relationship with a douchebag. Especially the one's who are worth having a more meaningful relationship with. People are going to get their panties in a twirl for me saying this, but from my experience, the subs who look for the "mean Doms" (and I specifically mean the Doms who are outwardly mean, not merely sadistic in the bedroom), usually are immature, with deep seated psychological issues - and generally suffer from patterns of abuse.
I will say this much though, you should still be in control of yourself enough to show your bad boy side once in a while. But honestly, there is someone for everyone and no hard and fast set way to carry out a relationship - even someone nice through and through.
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