RE: Doing the research (Full Version)

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goodgirl08 -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 3:41:31 PM)

I appreciate it if someone has read my profile, it's a good starting point to learning more about me. I always used to ignore people who messaged me without reading it. I read other people's just because I'm generally interested in the details of people's lives, how they choose to present themselves and all that.



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 4:05:30 PM)

I don't necessarily read everything before I say "great post" or "I liked the way you thought on this...", but after I send the email, I'm liable to go back and read their profile and their journal and their like/dislike list etc.... I am, however, to quote the parents of the Elephant Child "Insatiably Curious".

(For anyone who doesn't get the reference, go read the story of "How the Elephant Got Its Trunk" by Rudyard Kipling. *Grins*)

Calla Firestorm



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 6:54:25 PM)

Let's just say most of my friends and loved ones call me a stalker- always in a very loving way, but there is some neurotic truth to it.



Leatherist -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 7:22:59 PM)

I'm not that ocd...........



nameme -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 7:40:36 PM)

Since i;m new and most are in different countries I tend to push the invite to friends for just that reason---trying t be friendly  sometimes it hits the target.......
sometimes it's a miss..............oooh well....we try...



Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 8:38:42 PM)

A few weeks ago, I exchanged email messages with somebody.  They use the message boards.   I did a little reading after the fact, and was blown away by the depth of their own writting and things they have shared.

Do I read everything somebody writes?  I will read a profile and all of somebody's journal entries first.   I might from time to time check if they have anything on the message boards. 

It all depends, is what I have to say.   If they have a lot of things on the message board posting, well.. I'll read some of it.   Much rather engage in one on one exchanges for more clarity and depth.



Missokyst -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 10:35:11 PM)

Oh heck.  I pray people dont read my stuff.  LOL 
As far as me researching them, nah.  I dont do it.
I meet people and base my judgement on how we interact.
Kyst



DomDolf -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 11:02:28 PM)

I like to check for forum posts when I read a profile of interest to me. If there are only a few forum posts I will read as many as it takes to either gain or lose interest. If there are a great number of posts I like to see where they posted and anything that seems interesting I will either skim or read. If I found someone I was interested in a potential relationship with I might read everything I could no matter how many posts they wrote. I feel you can learn a lot about the way a person thinks through their posts. Of course the possibility exists they are totally full of crap too. But usually something they say to me and something they write will contradict in those cases. If there is a contradiction then further investigation is warranted. Sometimes we change our minds over a great period of time and experiences. That is expected. All things must be weighed and measured before deciding.

Dolf



rookey -> RE: Doing the research (7/29/2008 1:40:57 AM)

Reading what someone has written, can tell you something about the way they tick.   This is why people judge others by what they have written.

Say if they are incessantly bad-mouthing someone, then maybe they're a moaner.  If what they write is funny, then maybe they're funny in real life.

According to Stephen King, writing is refined thinking.  Or at least it should be, it's not live so to speak, the writer has time to think about what they are saying.

As a rule of thumb, stuff that is hard to follow and to read has probably not been written with much effort.  So not much effort probably means not worth knowing.  Why else do one-liners can deleted without being read?

You look at the quality and quantity of what has been written.  You want to see both good quantity and good quality, otherwise you won't take it seriously.

Q) So is it important to read all of a profile?
A) Depends upon the profile.

You're reading a profile for a purpose.  Usually to discover if that individual is worth getting to know or potentially worth contacting.

You find this out from what they have written.  Once you've read enough to know, chances are you'll stop.  There again you may read all of it to check if there are any red flags.  Depends upon the preferences of the reader.

If it looks like it's too good to be true, you're outta there.  If it's a one-liner, same.

What they've written tells you what they are like, what you might want to know them. 




ChainedExistence -> RE: Doing the research (7/29/2008 2:16:50 AM)

Rather than post a "me, too" message on the boards, I will occasionally send a comment through the profile mail if something struck a chord with me, but I don't go back to read everything they've ever written first. Not to say I don't spend any time reading profiles and journals- I do, but primarily for the fact that I find some writers quite compelling. It may be because their experiences are so unlike or similar to mine. It could be because they have a poetic quality to what they say,  beautiful imagery, or a gritty in- your- face tone. Sometimes I am responding to bit of humor, or an intense sadness that I once knew as my own. Whether it is their "best foot forward"  or a brutally honest introspection, I can still get some sense of who they are, or at least who they most want to be.



ShiftedJewel -> RE: Doing the research (7/29/2008 5:39:03 AM)

Yeah, I read as much as I can about a person that catches my eye. Profile, journal and forum posts as far back as I can... Recently I "researched" someone and found them to absolutely ate up with doing laundry... lmao... and all I could think of was how damn cute is that??? And not that I expect everyone to do it, my profile is short, curt and to the point and it says if you want to know more about me and mine.. read the forum boards. So yeah, I've found that reading what a person posts and the choices of threads they post to are very telling and valuable insight to that person.
 
Jewel



missturbation -> RE: Doing the research (7/29/2008 5:46:32 AM)

quote:

Is it important to read everything? 
No not at all. I rarely cmail someone but when i do it is usually just one something that has caught my eye about them.
 
quote:

Is it important that someone reads everything about you?

It depends on why they are mailing me. If its just a passing comment about something i have said here in the forums, no. If it is because they are interested in me its nice if they have read my profile.
 



TwoNYCDommes -> RE: Doing the research (7/29/2008 6:16:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
quote:

Is it important that someone reads everything about you?

It depends on why they are mailing me. If its just a passing comment about something i have said here in the forums, no. If it is because they are interested in me its nice if they have read my profile.


That's pretty much how I feel.  If someone is writing to us about something I posted on a forum, there's no need for them to have done any other research on us.  But the vast majority of those who write to us don't seem to use the forums, making our profile their only source of information about us.  If they haven't read either a forum post or our profile (which is fairly short), then we don't understand why they're writing to us--other than the fact that our name apears in red.



DesFIP -> RE: Doing the research (7/29/2008 3:35:43 PM)

I don't think it matters if you read their journal and see there's a dealbreaker and move on, or talk to them, discover the dealbreaker and move on. Either way you wind up getting to the same place.



SurrenderForMe -> RE: Doing the research (7/29/2008 7:29:47 PM)

Not if it doesn't apply. 

Contacting someone to praise a post does not require knowing if they like to be butt fucked.

Contacting someone and saying you think you are compatible is another story.



VioletAshes -> RE: Doing the research (7/30/2008 4:21:53 AM)

I read EVERYTHING...
Why? Because it's there. Because I can.



MaamJay -> RE: Doing the research (7/30/2008 8:35:00 PM)

I read their profile, their journal and any current posts on the boards. I've not gone back to previous posts though! That's a bit too much for Me.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



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