Doing the research (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> Doing the research (7/28/2008 1:45:20 PM)

This is something of a spin off thread from another thread here.   http://www.collarchat.com/m_2033389/tm.htm

Something that caught My attention in a number of replies.  That was, the fact that a lot of folks out there in CM world do a lot more reading prior to contacting perspective friends, partners, tops, or bottoms than I do.  I seem to be in the minority in the fact that I don't read everything a person has written on the other side (meaning journal, along with profile) before contacting them to say hello or tell them that I really enjoyed something they have written on the forums.  I guess I'm just the type of person that doesn't need to know someone's whole life story to pay them a compliment or tell them that they might be fun to get to know.

How do you see it?  Is it important to read everything?  Is it important that someone reads everything about you?  Aside from the basics, partnered, looking, kinks, orientation, is it imperative that a person read everything first, and then talk second?






leadership527 -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 1:53:49 PM)

Actually, I could care less what someone read or did not read about me.  Things like my profile are meant as a cliff's notes of myself that may encourage/discourage someone from actually getting to know me.  Real actual conversation is what matters.  Good god, "hello", or "I liked your post" are praise I'll accept in any form thank you very much *laughs*.




gypsygrl -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 1:59:31 PM)

I do tend to read everything if there's anything to read. I figure if its important enough to them to have written it, its important enough for me to read it.  I think that's the s in me.

Not everyone has a paper trail, though.




beargonewild -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 1:59:48 PM)

For myself, it's more of reading a person's posts when they reply to a posted question and how they present themselves on the forums through their many postings. I have a belief that a person's real nature does make itself known by the manner in which they formulate a rely or offer an opinion. Usually it's because of this which will rouse my curiosity to where I want to check their profile to get a better sense on that specific person. Seldom do I read someone's journal entries yet I will read the entire profile to see what they are seeking and see how many of their interests are alike to mine.




Madame4a -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 2:19:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

This is something of a spin off thread from another thread here.   http://www.collarchat.com/m_2033389/tm.htm


How do you see it?  Is it important to read everything?  Is it important that someone reads everything about you?  Aside from the basics, partnered, looking, kinks, orientation, is it imperative that a person read everything first, and then talk second?





If one reads my journal you can get a bit more insight about me.  I tend to read what I can -- it allows me to do some getting to know them on my own time, if that makes sense.  Sometimes a written entry can spark some good questions or discussions.

I don't know if its important to read everything someone writes here.  I always say, you see what people put out here, some of us are more open than others and more our real selves.  But in the end, you only see what someone is willing to show.

I think there is no substitute for back and forth with someone and again, I'm someone who believes that nothing online compares to face to face and meeting people in their environment.





Misstoyou -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 2:23:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

I do tend to read everything if there's anything to read. I figure if its important enough to them to have written it, its important enough for me to read it.



I do it just because I'm nosy. [:D]




KnightofMists -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 2:26:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

How do you see it?  Is it important to read everything?  Is it important that someone reads everything about you?  Aside from the basics, partnered, looking, kinks, orientation, is it imperative that a person read everything first, and then talk second?



can you imagine some trying to read every post that Lucky as posted... and don't forget her profile Emerald... not sure if she had others way back when.    I feel sorry for anyone that things they need to read "Everything"

I do think it might be a good Ideal to take a look at what a person posts.. but not read everything... skim it... look for some highlights... get into some topics that interest you specifically... maybe get a feel for something of the person that interests you.  It just might be that the little you read will cause you to be more interested.. or less interested. 




LaTigresse -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 2:30:54 PM)

I am a skimmer and perver. Especially if someone interests me in some way.




gypsygrl -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 2:32:02 PM)

Ok, I don't feel the need to read everything.  I only go back 300  posts because thats how many come up when you search someone's name. If I knew how to go back further than 300 posts, I probably would.






MzMia -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 2:32:56 PM)

lol, KOM, I guess I am lucky that 99% of the males that
I chat with never or rarely post on the message boards.
 
I do however usually request that they read certain threads, especially
my thread on male wives.
 
LadyPact, about 99% of the males I chat with don't post on here, and
rarely read the boards.
I usually have to direct them and give them reading assignments!
 
*I do read profiles and journals and they help me in the initial screening process.
 
 Almost everyone online tends to normally only present themselves in a "positive" light.
I believe very little of what many tend to write about themselves.

I have pre-written screening questions, that I use to help me figure out what I need to
know early on, then a series of hoops they must jump through.[:D]

To answer the OP, it is certainly NOT required that someone "research" me to shoot me
a polite email or comment.
I would find someone odd, that felt the need to do so. 




CruelDesires -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 2:37:20 PM)

Male order brides? Is this something new that I haven't seen anywhere else? [:D]

C-D




LaTigresse -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 2:38:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

Ok, I don't feel the need to read everything.  I only go back 300  posts because thats how many come up when you search someone's name. If I knew how to go back further than 300 posts, I probably would.



Oye ve!  I feel positively lazy now.




faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 2:42:06 PM)

ya..nobody reads my profile...they generally respond to my posts.  if i get emails not from posts they are form letters of men asking me to marry them (men from nigeria and such)




MzMia -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 2:49:06 PM)

 I normally find that there is a difference between reading
what someone writes and having an actual conversation with them.
 
Often, I am thinking "Is this the same person that wrote such and such?"




MzMia -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 2:52:55 PM)

 It would be nice if more people from the other side, bothered
to read profiles before emailing!

But many don't!


Okay 1 post has turned into 3 posts, no more posting for me for a while!




faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 2:54:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia


Okay 1 post has turned into 3 posts, no more posting for me for a while!


starts timing...1...2...3......




MzMia -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 2:56:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia


Okay 1 post has turned into 3 posts, no more posting for me for a while!


starts timing...1...2...3......



lol, the voices doing the research, told me to stop posting for a while!




faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 2:56:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia


Okay 1 post has turned into 3 posts, no more posting for me for a while!


starts timing...1...2...3......



lol, the voices doing the research, told me to stop posting for a while!


that was like 15 seconds!!!!!!





Evility -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 3:02:18 PM)

If I was looking and interested in meeting someone for a potential relationship of some sort then yes I would read as much as they have written on this site. Profile, journal and forum posts. Just to comment on a post they made or say hello or something then no I wouldn't research for that.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Doing the research (7/28/2008 3:14:44 PM)

Most of the men I speak to are not on the boards---though the ones I like the best are!  [:)]  I tend to look back and read what a person has posted after I :meet" them, rather than before, though if I am interested in a person, chances are the postings have caught my eye anyway.  Sometimes it's helpful to see *where* they've posted, not just what. 




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