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windchymes -> RE: The habit of loving too much (7/27/2008 2:53:14 PM)
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What I have found is that when men say they need unconditional love, or openness, or more space or whatever......they don't necessarily mean they want it from YOU. (Meaning generic you, not only the OP) You can't make someone love you by loving them. And if you start trying to show them all that love that they supposedly crave, and you're not the one they want to love them, they'll only feel smothered, think you're creepy or emotionally needy, and they'll turn tail and run. This is especially true when they're already in love with someone else, be it a crush that's unrequited, or a relationship that she wanted out of.
Sometimes, when a woman starts knocking herself out to show love, the guy feels pressured that he should reciprocate at an equal level. He really isn't ready to yet, so he runs. For example, say he spends the night with you. You decorate the room with candles, rose petals, have the most expensive oils and lingerie on hand, then get up the next morning to cook a gourmet champagne breakfast. If he hasn't reached the point where he wants to return the favor, there's a good chance he'll just give up and start seeing someone who doesn't make him feel so pressured. Just lighting a couple candles and making coffee in the morning may have made him feel a lot more comfortable, and he might have asked you out for breakfast and made a date for that evening.
Best thing to do is to love yourself unconditionally. Save the giving part until someone comes along who WANTS your love.
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