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RumpusParable -> RE: Lifestyle. How far. (7/26/2008 1:33:34 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Dnomyar
People are diverse on here. The kinks are endless. My questions are when is the line crossed and you go beyond what is considered the lifestyle? Given to each their own is there a line?
I really don't think so, as I think "the lifestyle" is largely imaginary -in the "so different from the 'vanilla' people" sense. People and their relationships *are* endlessly diverse... per person, per relationship per person, per timeframe per relationship per person. There is such infinite variety in human relations, in what people can enjoy, such a wide spectrum of what can be acceptable and healthy based on people, timing, situation, manner, viewpoint, etc. that interactions can't really be solidly and definitively labeled.
There are many who others consider "vanilla" who are much more kink and power-oriented in their relationships than many considered "lifestyle". There are many who are "lifestyle" whose relationships function in the same manner as those who are "vanilla" but with special words attached. There are many both "vanilla" and "lifestyle" who wish to police what falls truly into both categories... and you'd be hard pressed to find agreement between them all on where the boundaries lay -to include on the "vanilla" end and on the "too extreme, must be abuse/unhealthy therefore can't be lifestyle" end.
Personally, I live my life. To some I've spoken with, I am very light, inexperienced, not at all what you'd consider "lifestyle". To some, I am very extreme, an edge player, and quite "lifestyle". Both are accurate, depending on what aspect of my life we're talking about, what actions or play skills, who I've in my life at the time, etc.
And that's largely been the case with everyone I've known well enough to make any judgement at all... life is rarely static. "The lifestyle" is, to me, if anything, a broad catch-all phrase for anything involving not entirely everyday chat it over with your minister on first meeting (maybe on subsequent) relationship or hobby interactions that can touch on the taboo, odd or outlandish, but often in reality is quite normal and everyday behind closed doors.
Some of what falls into it just seems silly to me. Some of it grosses me out or scares me. Some of it is so normal and "vanilla" that I boggle when it's talked about as though it's not.
No, I don't think we can really draw any set lines at to what is "lifestyle", be it on the end of "normal" or of "bizarre".
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