RE: Intimacy/Communication styles in Conflict

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RE: Intimacy/Communication styles in Conflict - 7/20/2008 5:58:32 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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My partner and I have difficulties because I'm extremely pragmatic, intuitive, solution thinking while he's a pleaser balance empathic thinking.

The only way I think Ds changes things is that one person can make up the rules of order. Otherwise, the process, the feelings, the issues are all the same. When there's a communication breakdown, someone isn't feeling heard and things aren't working smoothly.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Intimacy/Communication styles in Conflict - 7/21/2008 5:16:06 PM

nhite

Posts: 85
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline

very grateful for this thread!!! i recently played with someone who became frustrated with me because he could see emotions running across my face, but my brain hadn't decided which one was the one i needed -- i honestly seriously coudl not verbalize what i felt but he could see SOMETHING going on

i also think that he thinks very quickly and i do not... ESPECIALLY when it comes to a feelign question

i think this will be an important conversation if we are to have any further sessions

(in reply to batshalom)

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RE: Intimacy/Communication styles in Conflict - 7/21/2008 9:11:21 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

nhite, many of us go nonverbal while playing. That's why it's frequently recommended that you save your discussion of the scene for the next day when you're feeling normal.

I find it helpful if he asks me yes or no questions. I can usually nod or shake my head. And if I can't, and he needs to know how I'm doing, then he backs off on the intensity until I can.

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