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Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/18/2008 11:02:44 PM

MstrObjectmaker

Posts: 480
Status: offline

As someone who doesn't have that many friends and who is perhaps not that well equiped to deal with friendship, I was wondering how other people feel about friendship?

What qualities do you look for in a friend?

What would you do for your friends and what would you not do for your friends?

Would you support them no matter what?

And finally what does true friendship mean to you?

Post #: 1

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/18/2008 11:52:59 PM

OTKkindaGirl

Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
Status: offline

Friendships.... are rare treasures. i have a deep appreciation for them and feel that without them i would be quite dysfunctional. People may come and go throughout your life, merely acquaintances, but a friend should be someone that you can relate to, to me friendship is timeless, it doesn't have an expiration date.

Friendship qualities that i look for include but are neither all inclusive nor limited to... trustworthy, honest, loyal, funny, kind, laid back or easy going, witty or intelligent, charismatic, thoughtful, considerate, courteous, outgoing, independent, caring, optimistic, realist, dreamer, idealist, ethical, diverse, loving, (this could go on and on but the more qualities listed the better) good listener, good conversationalist, fun and hopefully energetic.

i would do anything within reason and within my capabilities for my friends as long as i am not breaking the law. i will not lie, cheat, or steal for a friend. i will not compromise my own values but i guess i expect my values to match those of my friends in most cases or i have picked a very poor friend.

in their greatest times of need, yes, i would support them in every way that i could, again if it is within my capabilities. i know that there are circumstances in life when sometimes i must turn away from my friends whether for their own good or mine.

True friendship to me means........being able to share the deepest darkest secrets without fear of judgement. being able to laugh and cry with one another. accepting one another based on trust and honor. being supportive and encouraging during the bad times. celebrating and sharing the good times. understanding and respecting each others differences. True friends are hard to find and i would rather have a handful of friends than just mere acquaintances, no matter how many i had.

_____________________________

~~ lil darlin' ~~
hope

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)

Post #: 2

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/18/2008 11:59:43 PM

naturalsin

Posts: 92
Joined: 6/24/2008
Status: offline

I was wondering how other people feel about friendship? - i am choosy when it comes to lettin people into my life, i have friends but i only have a handful of 'close' friends that id trust with my life.

What qualities do you look for in a friend? HONESTY. and to just be themselves.

What would you do for your friends and what would you not do for your friends? i would do almost anything for my friends, if they wanted me to rob a bank i would (but only if they help-i aint doin it alone lol)

Would you support them no matter what? Yes, i would, their choices in life are just that - THEIR choices.

And finally what does true friendship mean to you? to always be there for eachother, never let anyone come between you, always let them know they can count on you 100% and always be honest and truthful.

_____________________________

sinful

(in reply to OTKkindaGirl)

Post #: 3

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 12:19:01 AM

MstrObjectmaker

Posts: 480
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OTKkindaGirl

Friendships.... are rare treasures. i have a deep appreciation for them and feel that without them i would be quite dysfunctional. People may come and go throughout your life, merely acquaintances, but a friend should be someone that you can relate to, to me friendship is timeless, it doesn't have an expiration date.

Friendship qualities that i look for include but are neither all inclusive nor limited to... trustworthy, honest, loyal, funny, kind, laid back or easy going, witty or intelligent, charismatic, thoughtful, considerate, courteous, outgoing, independent, caring, optimistic, realist, dreamer, idealist, ethical, diverse, loving, (this could go on and on but the more qualities listed the better) good listener, good conversationalist, fun and hopefully energetic.

i would do anything within reason and within my capabilities for my friends as long as i am not breaking the law. i will not lie, cheat, or steal for a friend. i will not compromise my own values but i guess i expect my values to match those of my friends in most cases or i have picked a very poor friend.

in their greatest times of need, yes, i would support them in every way that i could, again if it is within my capabilities. i know that there are circumstances in life when sometimes i must turn away from my friends whether for their own good or mine.

True friendship to me means........being able to share the deepest darkest secrets without fear of judgement. being able to laugh and cry with one another. accepting one another based on trust and honor. being supportive and encouraging during the bad times. celebrating and sharing the good times. understanding and respecting each others differences. True friends are hard to find and i would rather have a handful of friends than just mere acquaintances, no matter how many i had.

I have to say that everything you have said rings a chord with me.

However I would have to add that one of the most important aspects to frienship is the ability to farm your friendships with others.......such as making sure they are fed, watered and cared for. IMO

Not that I claim to be that good a farmer......lol

As with all relationships friendship is a two way street.......

< Message edited by MstrObjectmaker -- 7/19/2008 12:22:09 AM >

(in reply to OTKkindaGirl)

Post #: 4

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 12:33:21 AM

EmanonFitz

Posts: 8
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline

I have many acquaintances but very few friends. My best friend, I have known since I was in 8th grade I am now 43. There were times she was homeless and I gave her a place to live. She has done the same for me. Four years ago she was paying all the household bills at her place and paying for mine as well for 6 months! We have never keep track of money or favors etc. If she has it and I need it she gives it, the same for me if I have it and she needs it, it is hers. We are the godparents of each others children. We had legal documents made up naming the other as guardians for our children while they were growing up. I would do almost anything for my best friend and she for me (lying, cheating, stealing, etc we will not do to/for anyone {though I did offer once to kill an ex-boyfriend of hers}) . We have had many discussions, one minor tiff, and one disagreement during our lifelong friendship. We have supported the other through the worst of times and through the best of times. We have keys to each other's homes and cars. I think unconditional respect, unconditional acceptance, advice only when asked for, being true to our word, and of course common interests (books, movies, crafts, etc), is what has held us together as friends for so long. We are going on 30 years of friendship. Oh and we have such different taste in men, that we have never even liked the same guy I know this has helped too. I feel very blessed and honored to have her as a friend and I hope that our friendship will last another 30 years or more.

< Message edited by EmanonFitz -- 7/19/2008 12:59:37 AM >

(in reply to naturalsin)

Post #: 5

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 12:52:18 AM

angelicbitch

Posts: 224
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline

I have a handful of close friends as well... and to me those friends are my family or just like my family. My older brother ... is one of my best friends. Granted growing up we didn't get along but now that we are older and have "grown up" we are the best of friends... He is there for me no matter what. He listens when I am having a bad day or when the bottom drops out of my life * which happens more times than I care to admit.) I would do anything for him, and he knows it. And I know the same goes for him... He has been there for me when few have been.
    My best girlfriend ... well I have two of those... one lives close and the other lives in Minnasota. The one in Minnasota I have known going on 7 years now. She and I have a very strange connection.. I have a defect in my lower back.. and when my back hurts so does her.. * mine will hurt on the left side in the middle and hers will hurt on the right side in the middle*. If she can't sleep neither can I, if she gets a migraine so do I..... we know when the other needs each other . .. we can just feel it. I trust her with my life, family.. everything. And she is the same. She doesn't have parents so my family is hers. And I have no problem with that at all. The friend close to me I have known about 5 years. She and I resemble each other ( people are always telling one or the other that they have seen our sister. When we would tell them we weren't sisters they didn't believe us, so we gave up on trying. Now we tell people we are sisters and they don't question it at all.) But I have her eyes tattooed on my lower back. That way no matter what I know she will always be with me. And that is the tattoo I get the most comments on.
   As for what would I do and not do for them ... everything ... and they would do the same. I am fortunate to have such awsome people in my life. I don't know what I would do without the people in my life that keep me together when shit falls apart. My Master also is one of those people. I had a bad day yesterday and sent him a collarme message and within minuets of sending the message he was calling me to make sure I was okay and to let me know that he was there if I needed him.

    Just my thoughts ...

Peace

Angelic

P.S. I love all these people with all my heart.. and tell them all the time. What I look for in friends are people who compliment each other. People who are easy to talk to, and fun to hang with. And will be there when you need them.

< Message edited by angelicbitch -- 7/19/2008 12:54:52 AM >

(in reply to EmanonFitz)

Post #: 6

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 2:10:15 AM

DomAviator

Posts: 1253
Joined: 4/22/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker

However I would have to add that one of the most important aspects to frienship is the ability to farm your friendships with others.......such as making sure they are fed, watered and cared for. IMO

I disagree with that... My pets expect me to feed, water, and care for them... My friends dont! A true friend comes to the table with a dish to pass, or a bottle of wine to share, or at the very least a reciprocol invitation for next time. What shows up looking to be fed, watered and cared for is a parasite and I dont allow fleas to live on and feed from my dog, much less me. If I had a tapeworm dwelling in my colon, rest assured I would get it out of there as soon as possible.... A true friend would be the one bolusing me with the Zimectrin

To me a friend does right by me and I by him or her... They keep the faith above all else, and they would go to hell and back with me. A buddy is the guy who comes and bails ya out of jail, and a true friend is the guy sitting in the cell with you saying "What a fucking night man! That was a blast!" In Naval Aviation we had something called "The Faith" which is an unspoken bond and unwritten rule... Essentially it means you stick together, you watch each others back, and you never ever ever break the faith. You never betray the trust of your fellow aviator and you never ever leave your wingman... Its you and them against the world, and what happens in 'Hook stays in 'Hook!... Thats a friend.

Somebody who needs to be fed and watered? Fuck that, I could sprout an avocado seed that needs all of that but it wont be my friend, it will be the fruit that lives on my windowsill.

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)

Post #: 7

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 4:01:05 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

A friend is someone who accepts the worst in you but also sees the best in you and you them. The only difference between friendship and family is the matter of choice.

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(in reply to DomAviator)

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RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 4:05:22 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker
What qualities do you look for in a friend?

The ability to keep things private.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)

Post #: 9

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 4:08:53 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

one friend does not take advantage of another

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GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

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(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)

Post #: 10

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 4:13:22 AM

christine1

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
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not to hijack...but holly...there you are ya big cutie!

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He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 11

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 4:22:24 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

not to hijack...but holly...there you are ya big cutie!

*blushes*

Awww...thanks Sweetie. Pots walked me through getting a pic onto my profile...

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to christine1)

Post #: 12

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 4:35:39 AM

SweetNika

Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline

I don’t have my people I call friends that is a very protected and coveted term for me. I can honestly count the number of people I call my friend on 2 hands and I am 32 years old. I think far too many people throw around the term without considering its meaning or the power it holds. I have many acquaintances but they arejust that people I socialize with on a certain level but that is no real intimacy in my eyes.

What qualities do you look for in a friend?

A friend will accept me for who I am. They won’t work to change me or feel the need to fix me but they would take me as I was, for better or for worst.

They would be bluntly honest with me. No secrets. No lies.

They should be part of my support system being there for me physically, mentally, and emotionally. Keeping the lines of communication open, knowing that they were there for me regardless of the time or day.

They should have common ground with me. So I suppose this means they should be slightly insane, even if that side is hidden from the general public the majority of the time.

They should be loyal to me, to our friendship but more importantly to themselves. As my friend they should never bend to my will or my peer pressure nor should I bend to theirs.

They should hold their personal honor close and never do anything that jeopardizes that not even in the name of friendship, not even for me.

They will not expect perfection from me and forgive me when I screw up.

They will respect me, my views, my opinions, my choices even if they don’t like them or agree with them. They will respect them.

What would you do for your friends and what would you not do for your friends?

There isn’t much that I would not do for my friend as long as it did not jeopardize my personal honor or my family. My friends can call or show up at any time, night or day if they need an ear or a safe haven from the world. They know that I won’t judge them nor will I nag them although I will always be bluntly honest and but in doing so I will tell them my opinions once then leave them to make up their own minds. I will open my doors to my friends; I would give my friends the clothes off my back if I felt it was a hand up not a hand out.

That being said there are things that I would not do for my friends.

I wouldn’t against my personal believe for them even if in doing do it meant they had to deal with situations on their own.

I wouldn’t en-able them to continue destructive activities.

Would you support them no matter what?

Sometimes supporting the ones we love means letting them hit rock bottom, it means showing them tough love. Sometimes supporting those means simply being there to help them pick up the pieces.

I would do anything within my power to help a friend but I don’t believe in hand outs - I however, would give my friend a hand up.

And finally what does true friendship mean to you?

True friendship is a precious gem, one that is rare and should be protected. It is like the unconditional love of a mother and a child. It is something you fight to keep and to protect.

Blessed be,
Nika

< Message edited by SweetNika -- 7/19/2008 5:08:03 AM >

_____________________________

Blessed be,
Nika

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)

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RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 4:49:51 AM

lronitulstahp

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Joined: 10/17/2007
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A friend is someone i choose to share my life with, and vice versa. They are the people that get me when i'm joking, bitchy, or sad. But the thing is....friendship should be reciprocal. If a person has shown me that they are trustworthy, dependable, and truly care about my happiness, i should only return the same to them. Friendship is based upon a certain level of intimacy. The relational aspect is different from a romantic relationship...but the "sanctity" of friendship is just as important.

_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to SweetNika)

Post #: 14

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 5:19:44 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

Well I am in the group that says I haven't a lot of friends. With me it isn't so much that I am picky or particular about who I call friend, more that I just don't get out much and over the years I have lost most of my friends.
Those that are left are friends. They are okay with flopping on my bed and spending time with me, understanding that it is too hard for me to be up and about that day. They understand that I have to cancel stuff that we had been planning to do.

In general I think of friends as people who don't have ulterior motives. People who are forgiving of genuine mistakes.

(Holly oooooooooh I love your picture!!!!!!! You are absolutely adorable

)

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)

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RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 6:45:40 AM

hizgeorgiapeach

Posts: 1672
Status: offline

I can count my Friends on one hand. My aquaintances - friendly and otherwise - is a different matter. I know a lot of people, but less than a handful of those are folks that I consider Friends. And my few friends are closer to me, emotionally, than what remains of my biological family. In fact, one of those friends put it best - relatives are foisted on you by birth, your Family are who you choose to have in your life. Unsurprisingly, my relatives are Not part of my "Family."

Friend - someone that I can absolutely count on, regardless of circumstances, regardless of whether they consider me right or wrong - but honest enough to tell me they think my decision is wrong, even while supporting that decision. They tell me their Honest opinion - without resorting to sugarcoating or "diplomacy" - regardless of what we're talking about - especially about people one of us is dating or potentially dating. They see the worst, accept it, encourage the best, and deal with things as they come regardless of which side happens to win on any given day. They encourage me to achieve the goals I set for myself - and aren't afraid to bitch at me if I'm doing something that they know is going to be counterproduct towards whatever goal I'm working on at the moment. And they are exceedingly rare. They don't expect me to be just like them - nor do I expect them to be just like me - but we share a lot of the same interests, ideas, ideals - so that basic compatibility isn't an issue. They do NOT expect me to change - whether it's to suit them, or to suit society - and respect the fact that I don't expect Them to change. The exception being when one of us states we want to make a change for Ourselves - and That gains the full support of the other.

I'm another one who uses the joke about friends and jail. An aquaintance comes and bails you out. A Friend is sitting in the cell next to you, grinning and saying "man, we have GOT to do that AGAIN." (I have a friend close enough that such would be the case, if we actually got Caught doing some of the things we've been known to do - except we'd be in different cell blocks due to Gender lol.)

Those who I call my Friends absolutely do not leech - whether it be that whole feeding and watering thing, or expecting me to constantly loan them money. I have dogs, cat, and fish who are there for feeding and watering. I have no room in my life for human pets unless they are there as Property - but even then, they wouldn't be my Friend, they'd be just another Pet.

_____________________________

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Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 16

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 7:20:36 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Here is a general measure..

If for too long a time span that the exchange is not 50-50 or anywhere close... then I walk.

We all build our own prisons.

I can practically predict the next statement by 2 buddies..make that 3.

Brian is special. I likalizee his stimulating mind. The more candid I am with him, the closer we are. That would and has scared others away.

Shirley- tho- well- any idea I have she wants to influence me to not do it or persue a different idea. I verbalized to her not to control me. That worked about 2 weeks. So now- rather then giving her a heads up and what is on my mind- I dont. Also- she isnt one to recipricate pertienent info- she does some but ...Im on guard. So I will chat small talk...

Does the OP, do you mean friendship with the same sex or the opposite sex?
Cause those are 2 different ball games.

It floors me when someone complains that I dont call them. Hello- the phone works 2 ways.

(in reply to hizgeorgiapeach)

Post #: 17

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 8:14:12 AM

NeedingMore220

Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

What qualities do I look for?

Honesty, discretion (so I can tell her anything and I know it won't get around), care and concern. Lots of laughs in the good times and support both given and received in the bad.

I have a ton of acquaintances. I know the people I can tell something to and it won't get around ... I know the ones that once I let a comment slip it's going to be all over town. Trust is vital b/c gossip is so hurtful.

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)

Post #: 18

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 8:16:53 AM

MstrObjectmaker

Posts: 480
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker
What qualities do you look for in a friend?

The ability to keep things private.

Well said!!!

Not that anybody would ever say that of me....at least not lately......

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 19

RE: Question....Friendship....What does it mean to you? - 7/19/2008 8:21:10 AM

NeedingMore220

Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker
Well said!!!

Not that anybody would ever say that of me....at least not lately......

Perhaps that's something to think about ...

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)

Post #: 20

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