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Mercnbeth -> RE: Early Starts and How it Turns Out (7/18/2008 10:36:47 AM)
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~ Fast Reply ~
Very interesting question Lotus; I'll give it a try...
I think the entire process can be summarized as a progression of confidence. Starting out going to college in the shadow of the World Trade Center was an asset. I had NYC as a potential playground. Not the Disney version you see today, but the Mayor Beame Mayor Dinkins 70's version where you can arrive by bus as a virgin at the Port Authority and by the time you walked the 10 or so blocks up 42nd street and made it to Grand Central you were a heroin addicted $5 whore. Ahhhh the fun days!
Anyway, the first bit of confidence required walking into one of 100's of stores to buy a BDSM magazine or two. Then looking into some of the 'adult newspapers' SCREW of course, but more to the lifestyle was a paper called BDSM Digest. That led me to the personals, that led me to finding out about places such as 'Hellfire'. After walking by it at least 25 times I finally got up the courage to walk up the steps by the glow of the red light bulb and go into an 'open house'. The decadence and perversion I saw let me know I found a 'home'.
The people were much less scary than the facility. I dove in head first and played with anyone who would let me. Keep in mind it was before you could die from contracting a disease by having sex with people. It was a great experience. Everyone was willing to answer questions from there experiences; good and bad. I got introduced to other 'private' clubs and home dungeon parties. I learned that sexuality and gender lines blurred. I saw the beauty and passion in play and learned to appreciate that it was more a result of the emotions and mental aspects shared than any physical aspect observed. I saw 'rapture', 'catharsis', intense pain, outrageous and 'disgusting' acts - sometimes all at the same time shared between 2 people. Diving in to a mosh pit of people having sex is something everyone should experience at least once. Twosomes, threesomes, total immersion kiddie pools of exchanged body fluids. It was Dante's Inferno most Saturday nights. I saw people Wall Street types of both sexes dressed in $1000 suits (lot of money back then)stripping down and begging to be whipped or donning a leather harness and chaps to crack a bull-whip. Fond memories of great people. I stayed there and hung out pretty regularly until 9/11.
Whether I learned or have any 'skills' I leave to my partners to reply. I do know I learned about me, what I wanted, and how I wanted to live. Of course it didn't stop me from making bad decisions. I married a woman the first time around who I met a party at a NYC club. Yet for all we knew about each other, on our honeymoon flight she told me she was glad we were now married and could leave that "silly life" behind us. The fact that I didn't immediately open the cabin door and jump out, indicates that for all I knew - I didn't know how to be sure I wasn't being lied to.
No matter, it all turned out fantastic. Here I am now in LA. When I came here I was open to the idea of finding a 'slave' as I defined it, but never expecting to do so. Instead I sought out and had fun. Then beth came into my life, with no experience at all, no inkling that anything like the club that were common to me existed outside of the red light district of Amsterdam. Of course I didn't trust her, but she presented herself so damn naked and open to my eyes I couldn't help myself. Now I'm living out a fantasy 25 years in the making.
It has been wonderful to see everything all over again for the first time through her eyes. she had what you would call a 'late start'. I think she'd say it worked out okay for her too. (she doesn't have access to a computer for now but I think I can speak for her) Goes to show, no matter when you start you can get where you want to go. It's more important to know yourself and have the confidence to go out and get it.
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