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How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/10/2008 6:53:51 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		The answer is "Very carefully" or in many cases, probably "Unsuccessfully".

I read somewhere that the downside to an animal having a highly evolved defense is that often mating with other animals is incredibly difficult.

I find the same to be the case with human relationships. People constantly talk about being "safe" and "protecting yourself" and "taking things slow". This, of course, is good advice, but there is, I think, a line where too much safety, protection, and caution becomes destructive to the goal of developing the relationship.

I rarely speak in absolutes, but I am going to in this case. In all my experiences with attempting to develop a bond with another human being, there seems to be an equation at work where growth of that bond is proportional to the amount of vulnerability I am willing to expose myself to. Risking "non-safety", exposing yourself to being harmed, and plunging head first into the unknown with only faith being the reasoning behind your actions is an escapable part of finding that meaningful person in your life.

Do you agree or disagree?

Do you think you can develop a deep bond with someone while always protecting yourself and minimizing any risk of them fucking you over?

Or is the depth of the bond relevant to how much harm the person could cause you if they one day turned completely malicious?

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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/10/2008 8:14:21 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		The MadRabbits a man who thinks deepy....good.
 
Someone started a thread a few days ago on how deep is the pool...
 
That pool is what I see you....talking about...
 
The deepest...closest realtionships that I experienced where the ones where the walls came down....and I exposed myself...vulnerable? Of course....scarey? Yes...
 
Worth it? Those were the moments I experienced two becoming one...priceless moments...a shame it could not have been that way all the time...and I believe it...can.
 
Why not have IT all...
 
Screw.... playin` in shallow waters...
 
Thanks Rabbit...

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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/10/2008 8:34:27 PM   
DisenchantedLife


Posts: 193
Status: offline
quote:

Or is the depth of the bond relevant to how much harm the person could cause you if they one day turned completely malicious?


Something like that


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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/10/2008 8:47:33 PM   
summersprite


Posts: 101
Joined: 4/3/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

The answer is "Very carefully" or in many cases, probably "Unsuccessfully".

I read somewhere that the downside to an animal having a highly evolved defense is that often mating with other animals is incredibly difficult.

I find the same to be the case with human relationships. People constantly talk about being "safe" and "protecting yourself" and "taking things slow". This, of course, is good advice, but there is, I think, a line where too much safety, protection, and caution becomes destructive to the goal of developing the relationship.

I rarely speak in absolutes, but I am going to in this case. In all my experiences with attempting to develop a bond with another human being, there seems to be an equation at work where growth of that bond is proportional to the amount of vulnerability I am willing to expose myself to. Risking "non-safety", exposing yourself to being harmed, and plunging head first into the unknown with only faith being the reasoning behind your actions is an escapable part of finding that meaningful person in your life.

Do you agree or disagree?

Do you think you can develop a deep bond with someone while always protecting yourself and minimizing any risk of them fucking you over?






No, I don't think you can develop a deep bond with someone while protecting yourself.... It's very rare that I find someone worth taking the risk over.... But if I do, then I choose to be open and yes, this involves being vulnerable to 'them fucking me over'.... but I'd rather take the risk, than close myself down to the possibilities of that relationship.;-)

Edited because I can ;-)

< Message edited by summersprite -- 7/10/2008 9:06:27 PM >

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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/10/2008 8:51:07 PM   
MisterBeast


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Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		The answer is simple... KEVLAR!

Watched the Thomas Crown affair lately have we? ;)


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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/10/2008 8:53:19 PM   
MadRabbit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterBeast
Watched the Thomas Crown affair lately have we? ;)


Yeah, that is where I got that from.

Thanks.

I got a lot of stuff rolling around up here in my head and don't always know what the source is.

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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/10/2008 8:58:21 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		Hey Mad Bunny:

"Everything you know is wrong."   at least about Porcupine Sex.  Otherwise, I look forward to reading the replies to your thoughts.

E.

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"It's the same thing," he said.

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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/10/2008 9:19:55 PM   
AquaticSub


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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

Hey Mad Bunny:

"Everything you know is wrong."   at least about Porcupine Sex.  Otherwise, I look forward to reading the replies to your thoughts.

E.


Beat me to it...

As for when it comes to human relationships, it depends. I have odd and highly illogical fears that come and go. I am often extremely reluctant to meet people off the internet and give out my phone number or other information. In various years of using dating services I met two people - one was a complete dud and the other I had a positive, if short-lived, relationship with.

On one hand, I'm sure my reluctance limited my chances and I was passed over by very sweet men and I'm sure it will continue to limit as we look for another person. On the other hand, taking my time and moving at the pace I am comfortable with - regardless of how silly it seems to others - means I end up with someone who accepts my odd fears. They won't ever go away, though they will change focus so, in the end, only the person who is willing to wait and work with me is a good match.

However, when it comes to meeting people through other means (parties, classes, through friends, etc) I have tended to follow the rule of "Jump in first, ask questions later". Sometimes it's gotten me hurt pretty badly but if I hadn't I wouldn't be with Valyraen. The odds were stacked against us so I think it was worth it in the end.

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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/10/2008 9:34:56 PM   
MisterBeast


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Joined: 6/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

Hey Mad Bunny:

"Everything you know is wrong."   at least about Porcupine Sex.  Otherwise, I look forward to reading the replies to your thoughts.

E.


That is friking priceless


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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/10/2008 10:28:18 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5175
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Now i'm wondering how porcupines do it and not get spiked.  Sheesh....like i don't have better things to worry about. 

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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/10/2008 10:34:33 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		A relationship can develop without emotional intimacy, but it is a healthy one? For me, I must have that component in order to be fulfilled in a relationship. Someone who shares with me what's going on in their lives and how they feel about it is sharing a piece of themselves with me. I need that in order to feel connected.

Porcupine quills make excellent poky thingies...

Master Fire


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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/10/2008 11:01:58 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Hiya MR,

Trust isn't usually built in a day.  You're right, healthy relationships can't be built if you're not willing to make yourself vulnerable in the construction.  We live in a society of disconnection; the slave is speaking into my ear, that "People try to find and build the perfect relationship, and then make themselves vulnerable."  People get married, so they can 'start' their journeys; but it's building a house of cards, ready to tumble at the slightest puff of breath.

There's a vast difference between being vulnerable and being a fool.  Sometimes a woman strikes me as so appealing, I'm left feeling like a schoolboy with a crush.  I put blinders on, and ignore their faults (usually right until I'm stabbed with them.)  I've found that if I take it easy, try not to rush too fast, and let the wind push the boat along on it's own, I get there a lot safer and happier.  Obviously, that also means going with the flow; not fighting to back up every time I get a little nervous.

Sadly, Bush was right on this one; Stay the Course.

Stephan


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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/11/2008 2:47:51 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks to everyone who didn't try to turn this thread into a peice of non-sensible junk like the other 300 threads on Collarme.com.

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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/11/2008 3:06:34 AM   
naturalsin


Posts: 92
Joined: 6/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

Now i'm wondering how porcupines do it and not get spiked.  Sheesh....like i don't have better things to worry about. 



The mating habits of porcupines are the subject of many jokes and much curiosity. The truth is close to the old punchline, "Very carefully." Old World porcupines engage in a complex courtship that occurs once (occasionally twice) a year from March to December. It involves a mating dance during which the male showers the female with urine. If she rejects her suitor, the female becomes very aggressive, stamping her feet and shaking her quills. If she approves of the male, he will stand still in front of her and then move toward and away from her many times while making certain sounds. The final phase of the courtship occurs when the female raises her hindquarters into the air and lowers her chest to the ground. The male approaches and mounts her with one paw on each of her sides, holding on loosely but not leaning on her at all. Their intercourse is accompanied by loud squeals, grunts, and whines.
http://animals.jrank.org/pages/3433/Old-World-Porcupines-Hystricidae-BEHAVIOR-REPRODUCTION.html



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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/11/2008 3:11:42 AM   
Rumtiger


Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline 		Deleted - Was thinking of armadillos, porcupines just piss on each other.

Was a good joke too...

< Message edited by Rumtiger -- 7/11/2008 3:14:42 AM >

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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/11/2008 3:16:21 AM   
naturalsin


Posts: 92
Joined: 6/24/2008
Status: offline

MadRabbit i think only the individual can answer your question, on the basis of how hard/soft hearted they are. i refuse to fall inlove, still doesnt stop if from happening though.
i dont think i could develop a deep bond or submit as much as may be asked of me if i didnt feel a deep bond. The idea of protecting ones self  may be good in theory, but may be more difficult in practice depending on your choice of partner. Okay, so this makes sense to me, i hope it does a little to you.

< Message edited by naturalsin -- 7/11/2008 3:23:34 AM >

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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/11/2008 3:41:47 AM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Risking "non-safety", exposing yourself to being harmed, and plunging head first into the unknown with only faith being the reasoning behind your actions is an escapable part of finding that meaningful person in your life.

Do you agree or disagree?

Do you think you can develop a deep bond with someone while always protecting yourself and minimizing any risk of them fucking you over?

Or is the depth of the bond relevant to how much harm the person could cause you if they one day turned completely malicious?


Agree.  Life is all about choices and chances.    You can be afraid of getting hurt and never choose to take a chance on someone.  Letting another person know you inside and outside, faults and strengths,  positive and negative is, to me, the way to that deep bond that is needed for a healthy, meaningful, give me shivers relationship.  

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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/11/2008 3:55:12 AM   
LadyRainfire


Posts: 6040
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

The answer is "Very carefully" or in many cases, probably "Unsuccessfully".

I read somewhere that the downside to an animal having a highly evolved defense is that often mating with other animals is incredibly difficult.

I find the same to be the case with human relationships. People constantly talk about being "safe" and "protecting yourself" and "taking things slow". This, of course, is good advice, but there is, I think, a line where too much safety, protection, and caution becomes destructive to the goal of developing the relationship.

I rarely speak in absolutes, but I am going to in this case. In all my experiences with attempting to develop a bond with another human being, there seems to be an equation at work where growth of that bond is proportional to the amount of vulnerability I am willing to expose myself to. Risking "non-safety", exposing yourself to being harmed, and plunging head first into the unknown with only faith being the reasoning behind your actions is an escapable part of finding that meaningful person in your life.

Do you agree or disagree?

Do you think you can develop a deep bond with someone while always protecting yourself and minimizing any risk of them fucking you over?

Or is the depth of the bond relevant to how much harm the person could cause you if they one day turned completely malicious?


I agree, there comes a time when we must cross that line and expose ourselves to risk, danger, hurt and pain in order for a bond to deepen. That's a two-way street, not just one-way. We risk hurting ourselves as much as allowing the other person to hurt us. You can only go so far to minimize the risk though before you will stifle the relationship and it can go no further. And I do believe that the depth of the bond relates to the harm a person inflicts, how many times has the greatest damage been done to someone by those closest to them?

With that being said, the greatest gift, love, is also received when we risk ourselves and open up to someone, when we take that most painful chance and bare our soul to someone. It seems we must risk that pain for the joy and intimacy.


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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/11/2008 5:12:52 AM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Do you agree or disagree?

Do you think you can develop a deep bond with someone while always protecting yourself and minimizing any risk of them fucking you over?

Or is the depth of the bond relevant to how much harm the person could cause you if they one day turned completely malicious?


In general, I agree, but my answer to the second question is a qualified yes. I think you can develop a deep bond, just not AS deep as without those behaviors. Additionally, I find that one tends to bond with someone no matter how careful they are, it's just that the other person generally doesn't KNOW how much the other is bonded, which leads to an answer to the final question of yes and no; depth of bond is certainly relevant to the harm that can be done (though not the sole factor), with the note that one who goes to great lengths to protect themselves may be shocked by how deep their bond ended up being and be doubly damaged as a result.

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RE: How Do Porcupines Fuck? - 7/11/2008 5:21:37 AM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		Having some walls/boundaries  around you is healthy when entering into a relationship ....it is part of your defensive system and can help to meet suitable/compatible  people ..it also serves as a test intially to find out if the person you are getting to know will respect those walls/boundaries which is  where the building of trust comes into play. once  a certain level of trust is established to move forward into creating a deeper bond  than you have to be ready to let some of those walls down  and allow the other to see you vulneralibilities..if done gradually it can either build a greater level of trust  to where you can lay your self totally bare but it should be a 2way street in the relationship both doing so together  or help to minimize the depth or pain  you will experience if things fail by doing it gradually

It is extremely rare for a  relationship to work if one walks in blindly trust baring all,  chances are extremely great that the other will take advantage of and abuse it... but the on the other had if you walk in full of walls with refusal to let them down thinking they will protect you then the relationship will gradually fail because the other will not be able to emotionally connect/bond with you


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