CallaFirestormBW
Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily
~quick posted~
Would you feel the need to explain a vanilla relationship? I don't recall my parents every discussing their intimate relationship with us, and I can't imagine that anyone's kids would need to know.
I figure, by now we ought to be grown ups and be able to act appropriately for what ever given environment we are in. Appropriate behavior should dictate, regardless of how your are wired sexually.
I feel it would be innappropriate for my parents to disclose the details of how they enjoy each other, and spare anyone else of that nature (sisters/parents/other family members) those unnecessary details of my life.
All things have their place; and some things are out of place in certain places.
PL
PL, I think that you're assuming that this is all about sex -- for us, it's not all about sex, and there are many aspects of behavior around our household that were curiosities... ums notice these things, and when they asked about things like why I had a necklace that locked on my neck (back in the days when I was working my way to earning my crop), I explained in language that was non-threatening, completely honest, and yet did not diminish what I was involved in. I explained it like this: "Your momma's beloveds wanted your momma to remember how much they care for her always -- so they gave her this, and locked it on so it could never be lost or misplaced, so momma would always have it there to remember."
My ums were never subjected to seeing me hit or seeing any of our intensity-play, though they saw me disciplined many times. They recognized it, because some of the same disciplines were used on them. My middle um even came to me one night and said "It would be easier if you did the dishes the way ML wants them, right... 'cause then you wouldn't have to be punished, huh?" (Yes, yes... go ahead and laugh... you caught me shirking *grins*). They also saw me sitting on the floor, and making sure that everyone was fed before I sat down to eat, and asking permission for things -- they didn't think it was strange... they just thought our house had better manners than most of the people they knew.
Now that they're grown, all three know about how I live. I've been completely forthright with them about it, and allowed them to ask virtually any question they could think of. My first and last born, now young men in the community, are relatively uninterested. They asked a few questions, discovered that it -was- pretty much what they thought it was, and completely lost interest. My middleborn, on the other hand, now designs fetish fashions, and is preparing to learn to do tattoes and piercings, and is looking forward to becoming a member of our household, with her fiance/brattysub boy at her side.
If your ums are grown and are adults, just answer their questions honestly. They won't ask any more than they want to know, and letting them ask the questions is the best way to make sure that they get accurate, honest information, but that they're not alienated by things they didn't want to know.
Firestorm
< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 7/11/2008 11:33:35 AM >
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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"
"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer
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RE: Explaining BDSM to your children - ages 18+ only - 
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