Micro management

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shadowcd -> Micro management (7/8/2008 12:29:42 PM)
I have only recently heard of this term, though I suppose have always known about the various aspects of control involved. I'm curious what other people think of it in it's various degree's. I really don't know that much about it other then the basic concept.

BLKMADONA -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 12:35:09 PM)
So basically this thread is pretty much "What Micro Management Means to Me?" In a nutshell-HEADACHE!!!. I couldnt micromanage anyone to save My life..lol. I suppose if I was in the army and had that "disipline" I could. My life is tooooooooooooo busy n hetic to do such a thing. Hell, I wouldnt want to manage anyone, let alone micro manage them. Too much control(micromanagement) gives Me a headache. Just do as I say, when I say, and no one will get hurt-much anyway.<------This sentence does NOT mean micromanagement, it just means when I tell u do something, u do it. If I dont give u a command, ur free to roam. I give commands, not babysit :-)

SteelofUtah -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 12:38:14 PM)
Micro management to me is a Negative term. I see those who MicroManage in thier daily activities to be wanting an Image rather than a person. They tend to want the robot that does things an exact way. I find rules on how a table is to be set and how a girl is to wash her body or when certain things get done such as the Master who says you will shave your pussy every tuesday without fail, I find this idea to be counterproductive. See I personally want a submissive who wants to make me happy and so knowing that always being clean shaven makes me happy takes the time to always make sure that they are clean shaven. Or a girl whow knows I always like a full set of silverware on the table regardless of what we may be eating that meal. See these are comfort things to me however when they are not there I don't freak out and in most cases do not care if there is something that I want that she has not done I will ask her for it when I notice it and she will do it right then. To try and schedule it to me takes out her part of the equasion and leaves you with a robot how thinks all that matters to you is the tasks they complete. Micromanagement in my opinion is for Boys who want thier Toys to fit thier tantasy. I personally want a person who trys to make me happy no matter the cost. Steel

camille65 -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 12:41:03 PM)
Micro management means different things to different people, something that I have struggled with here on this site actually. Several times I've been told that people needing micro management aren't mature enough to maintain a relationship, much less one in BDSM. I happen to thrive under a certain amount. Several times a day I have to email him at work letting him know what things I've gotten done for the day, what/if I've eaten and an ongoing spreadsheet that he made for the multitude of medications I take. It used to be that I simply saw that as him taking an active interest in my life and I no longer fight against others defining it as needing to be micro managed. The term is used here primarily in a disparaging way which always makes me curious. I see it as another level of control, instead of it being a lack of fill-in-the-blank within a person. I'm capable and competent but as I said I do thrive under the type of control/guidance that I receive from my owner.

toservez -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 12:57:12 PM)
Micro managing is in the eye of the beholder. I have always thought the term to be a negative comment on the amount of control one wants or expects from a dominant in terms of too much for that particular person and not some standard baseline or specific way of power exchange life. One person’s view of a dominant who is that controlling might be to call them a micro manager but to another might call them perfect amount of control. One dominant who thinks a slave is too needy wanting micro managing can be a slave still too independent to the next one.

softness -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 1:02:30 PM)
As with all things it depends on the relationship and the people in it. I am very concerned when I see a submissive micromanaged because she couldn't find her own arse with both hands and a map, and needs the Dominant to do it for her. It smacks to me then of the Dominant being in service to the submissive, rather than the reverse. If anyone followed me through my average day, they would make the judgement that I was intensely micromanaged. I have so much to get done, and comply with throughout my day that I probably couldn't sit and list all of it. Each piece has been added in gradually over time. Here are some examples A Strictly observed diet with a list of things I can eat and the amounts that can be consumed how and when A daily physical training prgramme. ...A dress code...A behaviour protocol ...A curfew ...A regime for orgasm training and control ... I could go on and on and on Now I am micromanaged, but I am not a retard, or immature, or unable to function without DV. I micromanage myself following His initial instructions.. but as my own manager - I still have to report to Da Boss Man I think the degree to which my day to day life is managed is not negatively intrusive on either of us (other than me having to write my blog, which I consistently fail to do at least twice a week) certainly not on Him or we wouldn't do it. It makes DV present in my life, even when He Himself cannot be. I live many thousands of miles away from Him, I can't put my head in His lap when I need comfort, or feel His arm around my shoulder when I need support. Habits and routines and "micromanagement" make Him as present for me as possible. So you can slam it all you like peeps ... it works for me!

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 1:03:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shadowcd I have only recently heard of this term, though I suppose have always known about the various aspects of control involved. I'm curious what other people think of it in it's various degree's. I really don't know that much about it other then the basic concept. Micromanagement is basically taking control of the most intimate, detailed aspects of a servant's life. I'll tell you what -- I am -way- too chaotic to be interested in a servant that requires handholding and management of everything from taking a pee to what pair of socks to wear. If I have a specific desire, I'll let a servant know, but I expect that my servants will be able to look around and see what needs to be done and take care of it. I believe that I shouldn't have to hold a grown human being's hand and lead hir through every little thing... it would drive me CRAZY, plus it is a huge amount of extra work in a life that already has plenty to do in it! I train with the idea that, at some point, the other person is going to understand what I want and how I want it, and I won't -have- to micromanage (hence my preference for pets like snakes or lizards who don't need my constant direction to be able to manage their lives). One reason that I am not inclined to take on online or long-distance servants is because one of the only options for showing ownership comes down to detailed micromanagement of the servant, mostly as a reminder that you're there in their life. I know myself well enough to know that I don't enjoy having to have that level of consistency... I prefer spontaneous, frantic movement and honestly, prefer servants who can manage all the things that I despise having to 'hold on to'. Calla Firestorm

camille65 -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 1:10:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah Micro management to me is a Negative term. I see those who MicroManage in thier daily activities to be wanting an Image rather than a person. They tend to want the robot that does things an exact way. I find rules on how a table is to be set and how a girl is to wash her body or when certain things get done such as the Master who says you will shave your pussy every tuesday without fail, I find this idea to be counterproductive. See I personally want a submissive who wants to make me happy and so knowing that always being clean shaven makes me happy takes the time to always make sure that they are clean shaven. Or a girl whow knows I always like a full set of silverware on the table regardless of what we may be eating that meal. See these are comfort things to me however when they are not there I don't freak out and in most cases do not care if there is something that I want that she has not done I will ask her for it when I notice it and she will do it right then. To try and schedule it to me takes out her part of the equasion and leaves you with a robot how thinks all that matters to you is the tasks they complete. Micromanagement in my opinion is for Boys who want thier Toys to fit thier tantasy. I personally want a person who trys to make me happy no matter the cost. Steel I can positively say that he doesn't want a robot and also that I make him very happy. He also doesn't care if the tasks are completed for HIS pleasure but instead he is aware that I want these things done, and I need the higher structure. Every fiber of my being wants to make him happy. One way to make him happy is for me to be happy and healthy. He smiles when I accomplish more than I realized I could do and that happens through our work together. I am very involved in how he micro manages me. (I am also very very happy). OP yes most cringe when they see/read/hear the words micro management and very few take the time to see that there are actually levels to it. I don't need to be told to brush my teeth. I do need to be certain that I paid bill X by day Y. I don't need to have him arrange a daily menu. I do need to be reminded to eat because I tend to actually forget food. And so on.

genevieve66 -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 1:19:08 PM)
deleted.

shadowcd -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 1:38:29 PM)
I personally lose focus on a lot of details of basic things and while i don't need someone standing over me to remind me to eat or tell me what socks to wear or the minor details of living (as I am am quite capable of looking after myself) I also do not mind if someone does some of these things as a way to reinforce their Dominance. Maybe not so much to babysit but to enforce a guideline to follow so more as a time to time thing to make sure things are on track? I often can be clueless on what someone expects of me so even if they tell me to eat healthy I often have no clue to what that entails :P I suppose some Dommes would consider me needy even though I have pretty much been alone for most of my life and am perfectly capable of being independent, I just like to know exactly what I should be doing as I tend to second guess myself a great deal of the time which makes me a little stressed and worried that I'm not doing all I can to please my partner or Domme as the case may be. I guess since I am so new to a great many things it may be more importent to me at the present, and while I get use to things or how they should be it would be less and less required? I know when I start a new job I like to be micro-managed at the start but once I know how to do something I prefer to be left alone to do what I know.

leakylee -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 2:11:42 PM)
i couldnt resist the temptation. i truly wish this term didnt have such negative connotation, but with the nutballs how could it not. we have had threads discussing motivations in the past. whether one is more service oriented, control oriented, or a combination. it would make sense that if both partners within the dynamic fell into either of the latter, then some form of micro management would benefit both parties. now i am not endorsing the abuse hounds that wanna seperate someone from friends and family. i am talking the healthy examples that we have seen so far. the succesful examples i have seen often involved truly strong capable individuals, but it works for them. it is a style. i truly dont see where it extracts anymore from one partner than it does another. the dominant may have to exert the time and planning, but the submiisve is the one carrying out the acts. eventually it balances, or it always has in cases that i have seen. smooches lee

laura2161 -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 2:21:47 PM)
Micro-management is not for me. I was in a relationship with a wonderful Man for a little less then 2 years and he micro-managed..well...basically everything. I had rules to follow- 36 rules if my memory serves me correctly. I had to ask permission to pee, permission to run to the store, oh heck Im not going to write them all down but you get the idea. Near the end of our relationship I was starting to feel 'closed in', and even the little things like me asking permission to take a shower and him telling me no, I was to take a bath would just get under my skin. We both realized what he wanted and needed and what I wanted and needed did not mesh. We split on good terms and Im happy about that. I'm also very glad I had the experience with him. I learned a lot about myself in the process, and last I heard he was with a woman who was thriving under his micro-management. Everyone has different levels and what's right for one isn't going to be right for another :-)

firstslaveca -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 2:24:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shadowcd I know when I start a new job I like to be micro-managed at the start but once I know how to do something I prefer to be left alone to do what I know. i think this is a good analogy and there is probably more micromanagement going on in the initial stages of any relationship until they work out what is expected, like Calla Firestorm mentioned that she trains with the motive that micromanagement is not necessary eventually, it hopefully eventually slips into the natural phase of knowing what ones Dominant likes/expects and being self motivated to make Her happy.

windchymes -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 2:46:25 PM)
I first heard the term Micro-manager in the workplace, when they referred to managers or bosses who felt the need to constantly hover over employees and tell them exactly what to do, when to do it, how to do it, how often, etc. etc. etc. I've written here before about a former boss of mine who actually he felt he had to tell us to turn on the lights upon arriving in the morning, and to answer the phone if it rang. He edited all my letters and emails, and even once made an employee hide when his superiors were visiting, because she bleached her dark hair blonde and cut it very short. I suppose now it's become a term that can be construed as negative or positive, depending on your own personal opinion. I suppose there are those out there in the world who need to micro-manage and those who need to be micro-managed, and I rejoice whenever two of them find each other.

SageFemmexx -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 2:52:51 PM)
I tend to be a head in the clouds kind of person. But I also deeply resent too much authority in anything--especially my personal business. I too have seen subs begging to be allowed to pee, to use the phone to call their family etc and it turned me off of micromanagement in a big way. However, I discovered I needed things around me ran on a schedule so I am secure and more at ease. So, I laid out the things I can't remember to do and asked the FC/master/husband to manage those. So, he runs the money and pays the bills. I can remember when homework is due but not the electric bill. He reminds me when appts need to be made or met so I can get my teeth cleaned and have regular medical care. When I was depressed and working through grief however, I needed to be reminded about food and eating and regular exercise. That part has healed and is much better. I believe that every sub has different needs at different stages of her life. Fortunately for me, I have an FC that is flexible and knows when to manage and when to back off. It certainly keeps him on his toes and allows my personal growth as I tackle new challenges in my life. Blessings and Be well, Sage

MisterP61 -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 3:03:22 PM)
BLKMADONA, UGH.... I am in the Army and can not stand the ones who micromanage...... give Me the task and if I fail then tell me how you want it done..... there is more then one way to beat a dead horse [sm=beatdeadhorse.gif]. I am in a leadership position ( and yes I Love being in charge) but I also give the command and it gets done.... how I do not care (no illegalities involved non withstanding) as long as the results are the same. MrP

SkinnyDip -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 3:04:37 PM)
I think it's already been said but micromanagement is just another form of control. Plenty of people micromanage themselves and plenty of people are micromanaged. It's just up to you to decide if it is something that works for you or not. I micromanage myself and sometimes it's to a fault. I make lists and schedules and timelines like nobody's business and if I don't, I feel sort of lost and chaotic. With S it's a different story. He doesn't micromanage me but he's always in control. In fact his lack of extreme organizational behavior drives me nuts. I have a feeling that he does it on purpose so that I remember that he's the one with the reins.

CalifChick -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 3:23:24 PM)
When I'm the one in control, I tell the person the results I want and any important parts that need to occur along the way. The specific "how to" of it is irrelevant to me, unless they need help or there is only one way to get something done. When I'm the one answering to someone, I want to know what result they want. I had a boss once who, every single farkin' day, liked to say, "you're going to get behind in your work" (and frankly, there was zero chance of that happening) and she liked to instruct me on how to do things that I taught HER how to do as if I didn't know what I was doing. I hated that sort of negativity (the "get behind" statement) and the unnecessary instruction. So I had a meeting with her and the big boss, and when the term "micromanage" came up, she actually said, "I'm the manager so that's my job - to micromanage." The big boss and I just stared at her with our mouths open. Finally I said something like, "perhaps we're using the term in a different way than you are." So I asked her to give me the specifics of what she wanted, and it took some doing, but she finally specified that she wanted a 3 day turnover in work (meaning work generated on Monday needed to be cleared by the end of the day on Thursday). Usually I kept it to a 1 1/2 to 2 day turnover, unless I had to fill in for someone else. Occasionally she would slip back into micromanaging and I would simply tell her that I was inside of three days and "is there a problem??". Working with that boss taught me what level of managing I can handle, what level I need, and what makes my teeth itch. And frankly I think that's the most important thing... discovering what YOU need from management. Cali

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 3:53:23 PM)
Like most people, I like some micromanagement some of the time. More so in the beginning when I need to be very direct and clear in training and follow up.

celticlord2112 -> RE: Micro management (7/8/2008 3:56:11 PM)
Micro Management == "I don't trust you to actually DO what I tell you to do, so I'm going to hover over you 24/7 just so I can catch you thinking about something other than your assignment for the one-tenth of one nanosecond I need to declare you disobedient." Alternate definition: "I don't really have a life so I'm going to borrow yours"

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