quote:

ORIGINAL: RipenReady

BDSM story..

I met a Dom on one of these sites, we met in public quite a few times, talked online for several months, and I finally got up the nerve to play with him.  My first mistake was telling him I didn't know what my limits were because this was my first time with a Dom and I didn't know anything much.  We went over safewords and everything which eventually led to me being dumb enough to let him tie me up.  So now that I'm suspended from the ceiling by my wrists he proceeds to use paddles, canes, floggers, etc. on me.  So things get to the point where I can't take them any more and I safeword..well he stops what he's doing and switches to something worse so I started making up my own words (stop..red..quit..fuck you quit hitting me..) and nothing worked.  So he untied me and moved me to a table and continued hitting me.  By the time every thing was done and over I could barely stand..my nipples and surrounding areas were purple and black and my butt had welps and bruises all over it.  Now I know to some people this would sound like the perfect scene and to each their own, but to me, being new and not knowing anything that was a horrible experience.  The few good things that came out of that experience is that I know I need to be more careful and I'm actually a pain slut now (go figure). 

**edited for typo**

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

You might notice that most of the horror stories involves more nilla things than bdsm'y ones.  And they were for the most part not a first time meeting. 
My point in bringing this up was to show that the average person is not going to run into a serial killer.  Most people are just like us.  They can be assholes, saints, sinners, liars, cheats, good samaritans, helpers, sensualists, ect.  Most people we meet are not serial killers.  And they should be judged by a reasoning, logical, intuitive mind rather than the heat seeking function that does not look beyond a role.
For me, my offspring always came before my needs.   Most people though, have learned to use the skills they develop in normal life, to get an idea of what is good and what is stupid.
Baring the doors to living does not teach us anything.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: RipenReady
BDSM story..

I met a Dom on one of these sites, we met in public quite a few times, talked online for several months, and I finally got up the nerve to play with him. 

We went over safewords and everything which eventually led to me being dumb enough to let him tie me up.  

and I safeword..well he stops what he's doing and switches to something worse so I started making up my own words (stop..red..quit..fuck you quit hitting me..) and nothing worked.  So he untied me and moved me to a table and continued hitting me.  

The few good things that came out of that experience is that I know I need to be more careful and I'm actually a pain slut now (go figure). 

**edited for typo**

quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

so anyhow, me and two of my friends had been on duty for months (though it seemed like years). we hit town and nothing's going our way. we end up having horrible luck and an awful time. we spent all our money on alcohol and girls who were stringing us a long to buy them drinks. at the end of the night we ran into this really sweet girl. she hung out with all of us equally and just made us feel special. she asked us where we were going afterwards and we told her back to the base and she invited us to go back to her hotel to hang out and have a few drinks. on the way to her hotel, my buddy rick, who had been having a really rough time since his parents had died recently, and this girl bonded. it was really sweet to watch. we got to the hotel and went to the pool. there we ran into her aunt (who she was staying with). we were having a great time and went back to her room. my friend rick and this girl really hit it off and they were getting all lovey-dovey. the girls's aunt was getting pissed and told us to leave. we were confused and when we didn't move instantly she threatened to call sp and told us she'd tell them whatever she had to to get us in as much shit as possible. the woman was out of control and I got the phone out of her hand. she then went into even more of a rage and lunged a rick. she was yelling about how she was going to kill him and her idiot niece and there was no controling her. I tried to defend him and calm the woman down but I was too drunk and she hit me with a low blow. she then pulled rick away from her neice who was yelling 'stop stop, I love him!'. my other buddy backed out of the room saying we didn't want any trouble and we were leaving. rick wasn't the same every since then. he could've sworn she was 'the one'. he committed suicide a few weeks later.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

You know what the gist of the story is for me?
You met him in public a few times, you talked for months, after that you finally played.  You discussed safewords, had things in place except for limits.. which SHOULD have been covered by your use of a safeword but was ignored.
You did the many of the "right" things, and yet things went wrong.

But you did learn from your mistakes, which is a lot more than many people would do. You state you are more careful now.  How?  What are the additional steps you take if any?  Is what you do now more in line with the rules of engagement.. IE, safe calls, meeting in public, not playing on first meet, additional safe calls, getting references, ect?  Or do you focus more on getting to know the man before play?
Thanks for the bdsm post!
Kyst