Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (Full Version)

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HeavansKeeper -> Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 1:31:01 AM)

In my experience... (my disclaimer to make drastic sweeping generalizations)


I've noticed many bi-sexual women tend to be more interested in women than in men.  It's almost as if their sexual preference should read "Women and/or Brad Pitt."

What I'm saying is that I've never found a bisexual woman who gave men the same chance as women.  I have a few theories:

1) Years of males wanting nothing but sex have stigmatized her view on men.
2) Women are more desirable.

(Technically, the prior is a subsect of the latter.)

Also, I've noticed bi-sexual men to be far more 50-50 in their choses and openmindedness. 

I'm aware of Kinsey's scale theories, and recognize the silliness of trying to bunk something as free and complicated as sexuality into three categories.  Perhaps if the choices were Men, Women, Men and Women, Women and Choice Men Only, this post wouldn't have crept out of brain.

This could be an age related effect, as many women I meet are college students.  My father once gave me a line "LUGs"... Lesbian until graduation.  I thought it was cute (and demeaning to all 18-24 women).

So um... thoughts?



simpleplan2 -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 1:36:59 AM)

Interesting observations.  My guess is that here on CM, these bi-sexual women are looking for another woman  because they already have a dom or a SO and their doms won't let them look for a man.  Also, I think women tend to be more comforting and supportive on the whole thus, it makes sense that a woman would prefer another woman (and I said on the whole and, of course, this is only my opinion). 



jezzabelle19 -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 1:37:31 AM)

well im bisexual and im not 50/50 more like 75/25 leaning more towards guys. and i have another line for you "BUGs" bi untill graduation.



SpiderInWaiting -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 2:49:58 AM)

I am bi and it's 50/50 for me. Historically I have had more males than females but mostly that's because there is a larger pool of acceptable men to choose from than women. In the past most of the available female slaves I have met or talked to online have turned out to be flakes, ignorant or under educated, too caught up in their own looks to be interesting to me, or they believe that because they are 'cute' they can top from the bottom and play games. I would love to meet a female slave that is intelligent and level headed but I have yet to meet one :(



VioletAshes -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 2:57:14 AM)

I have thought about your post and I am unable to put a ratio on my sexuality. I have had more relationships/experiences with men but I have also had some amazing relationships and experiences with women. I find that I am equally attracted (by looks) to both but prefer men in a relationship... I also prefer the kind of dominance a man can have which in my experience has differed to that a woman can provide.



firstslaveca -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 3:11:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiderInWaiting

I would love to meet a female slave that is intelligent and level headed but I have yet to meet one :(


bites tongue



DominantJenny -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 5:40:24 AM)

I leaned toward women most of my life (though I never got to date one, and I wondered a lot if it was a case of "the grass is always greener"), but in my mid to late twenties, something suddenly clicked and I was truly 50/50. Until then, I had to know a guy, make a connection, or he was just a guy and not really of interest, whereas I didn't have to really know a woman to lust after her. I was looking at some pictures of a soccer team of guys that did sexy shots for a calendar, I remember, and suddenly that ability to lust without connection was just there.



DominantJenny -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 5:43:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2

Interesting observations.  My guess is that here on CM, these bi-sexual women are looking for another woman  because they already have a dom or a SO and their doms won't let them look for a man.  Also, I think women tend to be more comforting and supportive on the whole thus, it makes sense that a woman would prefer another woman (and I said on the whole and, of course, this is only my opinion). 


OR they are dominants themselves, already have a (highly comforting and supportive) male slave, and aren't interested in taking on more, but would like to have a female partner as well.



Aynne -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 5:47:17 AM)

Squishes spidey with copy of Ayn Rand's "The New Intellectual."  Sheesh[8|]


quote:

ORIGINAL: firstslaveca

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiderInWaiting

I would love to meet a female slave that is intelligent and level headed but I have yet to meet one :(


bites tongue




Madame4a -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 5:54:32 AM)

thank you.. well done -- with the squishy book thingy

to the OP.. if you're making your observations based on CM... I'd stop now -- I have never believed that an online community based in something mostly (yes, I know.. not all) sexual is a true representation of anything.. particularly the online part -- people can and do tend to be things they are not in real life...

that said.. I'm not 100% anything.. although people really want me to be.. I'm always told (particularly HERE) that I'm bisexual... I'm not.. I'm somewhere between bisexual and lesbian and lean much more toward lesbian... so that's how I identify, here on CM and in out in the  real world...

sexuality is even more complicated than Dr. Kinsey tried to make it.. *grin* at least in my mind...



BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 5:57:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiderInWaiting
I would love to meet a female slave that is intelligent and level headed but I have yet to meet one :(


[8|]



slaveluci -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 6:01:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiderInWaiting
I would love to meet a female slave that is intelligent and level headed but I have yet to meet one :(

Hi, I'm luci[image]http://www.collarchat.com/upfiles/smiley/waves.gif[/image].  Now you have[;)].................luci



slaveluci -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 6:07:38 AM)

~FR~
Now to the OP..........
I would say the ratio for me is about 80/20 favoring women.  I simply am much more sexually attracted to them.  I'm not attracted to Brad Pitt so it's not like I like women & Brad Pitt as the OP said[:D].  It's more like women and the occasional man who has all the right characteristics and qualities.  That doesn't necessarily have a whole lot to do with their looks, to be honest. 

Beingchewsie says often on the boards something to the effect of preferring woman but needing to be dominated by a strong man.  That's pretty much the way it is for me.  So I'm "bi" in that I prefer women sexually (and not with them being dominant in any way) but, in a relationship, I need a strong, forceful, dominant man............luci    



corsetgirl -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 6:22:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VioletAshes

I have thought about your post and I am unable to put a ratio on my sexuality. I have had more relationships/experiences with men but I have also had some amazing relationships and experiences with women. I find that I am equally attracted (by looks) to both but prefer men in a relationship... I also prefer the kind of dominance a man can have which in my experience has differed to that a woman can provide.


I agree with this statement.  To the OP, in my early 20's, I had a vanilla bisexual experience, which was negative as the man participating in this was a selfish prick!  Because of this past experience, this gave me a  knee-jerk reaction with the fear of being replaced and resolved never to get involved in those situations again.  Twenty four years later, I met my first ex-dom who was also dating another sub.  I felt very threatened with the fear of being replaced and the other sub felt the same way.  However, I was with her and him one evening, which was for the first time, I had a very open, loving relationship with them. That experience change my orientation.  After that experience, she and I became good friends but this dom never really communicated with us, which led to drifting apart.  I still prefer being with a dom for guidance and training, which takes time to develop.  I still like being with a man but every once in awhile, I  also like to feel the softer side of woman  and share that experience with a dom. 



Wildfleurs -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 7:03:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

In my experience... (my disclaimer to make drastic sweeping generalizations)


I've noticed many bi-sexual women tend to be more interested in women than in men.  It's almost as if their sexual preference should read "Women and/or Brad Pitt."

What I'm saying is that I've never found a bisexual woman who gave men the same chance as women.  I have a few theories:

1) Years of males wanting nothing but sex have stigmatized her view on men.
2) Women are more desirable.

(Technically, the prior is a subsect of the latter.)

Also, I've noticed bi-sexual men to be far more 50-50 in their choses and openmindedness. 

I'm aware of Kinsey's scale theories, and recognize the silliness of trying to bunk something as free and complicated as sexuality into three categories.  Perhaps if the choices were Men, Women, Men and Women, Women and Choice Men Only, this post wouldn't have crept out of brain.

This could be an age related effect, as many women I meet are college students.  My father once gave me a line "LUGs"... Lesbian until graduation.  I thought it was cute (and demeaning to all 18-24 women).

So um... thoughts?


I don't fall into that - I have always preferred men for relationships and sex (even through college), so for me that naturally extends into preference for owners always being men.  I certainly enjoy and am sexually attracted to women, just not as much as men.

C~



Wildfleurs -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 7:22:30 AM)

FR~

I don't know Spider, but I don't get the big deal about what Spider said - he/she just said that they haven't found whatever they consider intelligent and level headed - not that they've talked to every single person on this site and deemed them unintelligent.

C~



TwoNYCDommes -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 7:36:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper
In my experience... (my disclaimer to make drastic sweeping generalizations)
I've noticed many bi-sexual women tend to be more interested in women than in men. 
...
Also, I've noticed bi-sexual men to be far more 50-50 in their choses and openmindedness. 


I haven't taken a poll or kept a tally, but my experiences seem to run counter to yours.  Of all the bi women I've known, I think that more have leaned toward men than women (this includes those who are only bi because they don't mind the idea of an ffm threesome with their boyfriend or because women are simply prettier than men).  I have found that fewer seem to fall in the middle than near either end of the spectrum (I've certainly known plenty of bi women who simply considered women to be nicer than men, and thus preferred relationships with women, even if they found men equally attractive sexually).  For bi men, I've known a lot who are interested in sex with both men and women, but only interested in relationships with women.

As for myself, I'm close to 50/50 in my preferences.  However, I've had far more men than women, simply because men are easier (in so many senses of the word).

Oh, and I have to take minor issue with your use of the term "openmindedness."  I don't think that having more interest in one gender than another necessarily makes a person more close-minded.



LaTigresse -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 7:38:54 AM)

Well, let me see if I can address this at all.

When I was alot younger I thought I was straight/frigid. I didn't hate men, in fact I quite enjoyed their company for the most part. I just didn't enjoy sex. I enjoyed the intimacy but the sex.........blah. I lived my life busily ignoring sex and focused on work and motherhood. I just assumed that I was one of "those" people that didn't care for sex. You have to understand that I grew up very VERY sheltered in this regard.

Well into my second marriage, about 9 years ago I was completely and utterly taken by surprise by a very forward young woman. She totally rocked my world. It was a rocky and tumultuous 5 years. But it did teach me that a.) I am definately not frigid and that b.) while men don't gross me out on the whole, sexually, it is women that trip my triggers. I don't want to be dominated by, or dominate (in any sort of sexual context) men. I don't want to see what they've got in their drawers. It's just......bleck.

Now........after 5 relationships, 3 with men and 2 with women, I think I have a fair idea of what turns me on. Definately women.

So, technically you could say I am bisexual. I've got two adult children for crying out loud. But, sexually, men just don't do it for me. Why would I want to bother with a guy? Not to mention, I find 99.9% of them lacking other qualities I deem important in any sort of relationship.



pompeii -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 7:40:35 AM)

I think we men are just too easy whereas the women are more of a challenge. :)



gypsygrl -> RE: Bi-Sexuality.. No, Really, 50-50? (7/7/2008 7:46:09 AM)

quote:

However, I've had far more men than women, simply because men are easier (in so many senses of the word).


That's about how it's fallen out with me.  Its not so much that I prefer men, its that in my experience they've taken the initiative and have been more assertive.  I'm not a self-starter and my s-orientation supercedes my sexual orientation. 



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