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oblige -> RE: Internal work (7/4/2008 4:16:10 AM)
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I find "discovering oneself" is a lifelong and constantly evolving process influenced by many things including one's culture, society, experiences, perhaps genetic tendencies and definitely a developmental thing. Who I am today in my 40's is different than it was in my 20's and 30's. Who I "think" I am is often not who other's see me as. One who thinks they know themselves at any age, are likely discover later there is always more, and people change, sometimes slowly, often punctuated by rapid shifts.
Definining self discovery as an ardous or long process, or saying one lacks depth if they seem not too self aware, or if they make mistakes in relationships choices dismisses the highly contextual and personal naure of "knowing oneself." To me, not engaging in relationships in order to "find oneself" seems to sometimes be counterproductive. Though, hopping form one relationship to another always seeking satisfaction outside of oneself on the other hand is not the best either.
Yes, some introsepction can be very good prior to embarking on any relationship. Looking within and spending time with the contents discovered can definitley be helpful to a bdsm relationship. Yet, without relationships and the "mirrors" they provide, all the time and introspectioon in the world will not prepare one for any relationship. Balance is key here.
Just a side note: You spoke of denial. As I understand it, denial means one is unconscious fo something--a behavior or addiction or thought process or___. Thus, to me when one is in denial, they are not being lazy or blissfully ignorant. It is not until they become conscious of what they were in denial about that they can do anything about it.
I definitley agree some self awareness and some level of being true to oneself is bound to improve one's sucess prior to embarking on a significant primary relationship. Thanks for the good topic, and be well, ~oblige
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