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RE: Defending your property - 6/30/2008 8:03:58 AM

EvilKitty

Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

Dinnae feel bad, DV. It's the opposite, here. I get women who send - well, let's put it this way.

There's those I send a greetings message to when they perv me, as per my profile. I kinda like doing those, sometimes "Welcome to the site" makes people feel welcomed. Most of them just send a best wishes or such back.

Then there's the ladies I flirt with on the boards; we get into running glib commentary which is always good fun.

...and then there are the women who look at my profile and ask me out on a date or to Dom them in their first cmail, despite clear mention of Rain in said profile. I don't bother to reply, although I'm often tempted to parody Obi: "This is not the Dom you are looking for." *waves hand* Some of them get right irked when I won't "play" with them, and it always brings forth the thought: What the fuck...? Etiquettie, for some, be deadie.

Don't let them hurt yer brain.

I often read the message boards & then perv a person's profile just to get to know who's speaking, so to speak. Or I'll see that someone has looked up my profile & I'll look up their's just to see who is out there. Sometimes, I'll see that a person has checked out my profile more than once. I assume that they're just checking to see if I'm the same person they looked up last month, as I might. Or perhaps, I'm chatting with someone & it's been a week or 2. I may look up their profile again to refresh my memory.
Apparently, from my readings here, some us see more into these habits than others. I realize I'm relatively new here, so I'll just ask; what are the protocols most of you use in this respect? If you read a sub's profile, do you drop them a line saying hello? Or if you're looking at another dom/mes' profile, is it considered rude NOT to drop them a line telling them why you checked them out?
Happy Monday, y'all
Lady Cat

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Save the Earth! It's the Only Planet with Chocolate!

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Post #: 41

RE: Defending your property - 6/30/2008 12:33:34 PM

SlaveSimone

Posts: 95
Joined: 3/17/2008
From: Denver, Co
Status: offline

They're quite obviously, and pitifully jealous, M'dear. And why shouldn't they be? They want what they can't have, and even worse, the sub they want has a better dom then they ever could be. poor little things, huh?
In all honesty, I don't understand this sort of behavior in any way shape or form, and i completely understand how it can be hard to simply brush off at times. Maybe these people just don't want to deal with the fact that they can't have these subs, and as long as they don't hear from or think about the doms that posses them, then some where in their heads the they're still free game. Or maybe they're just upset because they're lame and don't have the ability to "get any" as it were. What ever their problem is, it's just that, their problem, it doesn't have anything to do with you, and if you can at all manage it, have a good laugh. These fools certainly deserve to be laughed at.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

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Post #: 42

RE: Defending your property - 6/30/2008 1:17:57 PM

mmsprecious

Posts: 84
Joined: 12/6/2006
Status: offline

to a point, i wonder how much is actual protection and how much is insisting on the "rules" being followed.

that being said, it IS the internet and there is no way around people being anonymous assholes. (ok the block button works actually!)

i do know that when people insist on sending me the types of messages that are obviously from someone that has not read any part of my profile at all or the ones that refuse to contact Master for permissions that my Master will then step in and explain "Hey, she's My slave, we have rules...she told you them. either follow them or bugger off" or some such niceness like that. yes, i've usually said so myself already, but it seems as DV pointed out, that perhaps because i am either the slave or the woman, i am ignored.

Master Mike's precious

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Post #: 43

RE: Defending your property - 6/30/2008 2:12:09 PM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilKitty

I often read the message boards & then perv a person's profile just to get to know who's speaking, so to speak. Or I'll see that someone has looked up my profile & I'll look up their's just to see who is out there. Sometimes, I'll see that a person has checked out my profile more than once. I assume that they're just checking to see if I'm the same person they looked up last month, as I might. Or perhaps, I'm chatting with someone & it's been a week or 2. I may look up their profile again to refresh my memory.
Apparently, from my readings here, some us see more into these habits than others. I realize I'm relatively new here, so I'll just ask; what are the protocols most of you use in this respect? If you read a sub's profile, do you drop them a line saying hello? Or if you're looking at another dom/mes' profile, is it considered rude NOT to drop them a line telling them why you checked them out?
Happy Monday, y'all
Lady Cat

To my knowledge, protocol changes with each person; I tend to follow the protocols the person makes clear, and err on the side of caution otherwise [in cmail, at least; on the boards, I'm a big ole flirtatious jerk]. In my profile, I state that I'll at least say hello to anyone who views my full profile; it seems the thing to do. If unsure, keep it simple and polite, ie "Greetings. I share your interest in <something>; would you mind sharing your thoughts and experiences on it?". It would be proper for the person to reply with their personal protocols if they haven't bothered to outline them in their profile or journal. If they don't - well, you didn't do anything wrong.

If you're polite and they're rude, you'll know better than to continue conversation with them. You can only be yourself, in the end. Try not to worry about it or overanalyze. You'll drive yourself batty.

Be well.

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<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

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Post #: 44

RE: Defending your property - 6/30/2008 4:45:01 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

I agree with you ... I have to admit, trying to get other people, strangers actually, to follow my rules is like tilting at windmills. If someone who belonged to me couldn't take care of themselves on the internet (the off button works well) then they wouldn't be in my life. I rarely protect mine -- except when she goes into the ladies room and gets challenged...

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

If my girl/s were to be incapable of dealing with trivial internet bullshit, they would no longer be allowed access to the internet.

Problem solved.

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But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

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Post #: 45

RE: Defending your property - 6/30/2008 5:16:07 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Why is it, exactly, that when someone sends Fox an innapropriate message, they are disturbed or insulted that I message them to tell them to leave him alone? He is more than capable of teling them off himself, and he does. But, since he is my property, I do not see anything strange about wanting to make sure that the purveyor of a rude message or an innapropriate comment or advance knows that he is an owned boy.
Is it because I am the Female in the relationship, and he is the male? Does that have to do with why it is looked at strangely if I stand up for him, though if a male dom were in the same position it would almost be expected that he do something?
Maybe this is a minirant. I get it alot. People want to talk to him, but not to me. I dont mind that, but when he has rules, they dont want to bother with "someone elses rules" and want to get around them. Of course there is someone elses rules... he is someone elses slave!

DV

It has nothing to do with you being female and dominant and him being male and submissive. It happens to male dominants when they defend their female submissives, and to female dominants when they defend their female submissives as well (these two I know from experience). I would suspect that it also happens to male dominants who defend their male submissives, since it seems relatively pervasive.

The issue at hand is not related to gender -- it is related to some individuals' beliefs that they can be rude and obnoxious and suffer no consequences for it, -and- to a fundamental misunderstanding or even outright disbelief in the dynamic of D/s or M/s where a dominant has -responsibility- to care for and protect hir property. We've even lost our ability to participate in some groups because the dominants in our group believe that we not only have the right, but have an inherent -responsibility- to defend our servants in this manner. I wouldn't let someone behave disrespectfully and damage or destroy any of my other property, and I value my human property much more than, say, my car or my sofa, so it makes sense to me that I would defend and protect my human property on a scale commiserate with the level at which I value that property.

Firestorm

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***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

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Post #: 46

RE: Defending your property - 6/30/2008 6:16:58 PM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

Just a few notes:

It was never implied that I can't take care of myself and deal with silly internet drama. I can and I do just fine. It usually doesn't upset me, it doesn't irk me, and it mostly amuses me. I deal with, on average, a few stupid people a week. I also get just as many nice messages, if not more. This is wonderful.

A lot of people seem to be--quite incorrectly--assuming that I have no backbone of my own and that I break into tears with every mean message I get. This is not true, and if you'd simply read my Owner's original post, you'd see that she affirms my capibility in handling mean people all by myself.

My Owner is simply of a very protective nature--which I love a great deal--and she does feel it necessary to tell people exactly what she thinks of their behavior. Then, after we've both had our say, they're blocked.

As I understand it, my Owner was merely wondering as to why people take her standing up for me when she sees fit as a strange thing. Some people are very offended by the idea of having to speak to her before I'm allowed to meet them or to speak to them via other venues. Which is very strange, since it's one of our very few protocols and its one that we state quite often.

There's nothing on the internet that my Owner has to protect me from, nothing at all. However, she's perfectly within her rights to speak her mind whenever she wishes--just as anybody else is. What she doesn't understand is why people think it's so strange when she does.

Just thought I'd clear my semi-good name from the thrashing some of you have tried to give it. :-p

DV's Fox

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Post #: 47