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Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/6/2005 6:35:14 PM   
MisterCorvidae


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/15/2004
From: Crow
Status: offline 		Good evening (well as I write anyway)
I have wondered about this particular term for a while now and have some thoughts about it. Before I go into them I wish to express also my stance. I do not care if my definition is your definition, you may agree or disagree as vehemently as you so desire. My previous experiences in chat rooms and other list or forums has allowed me to develop a fairly well insulated exterior to flame, so have at it should you so desire. I would however make a recommendation that your exterior be as well insulated should things get highly focused and personal.
On to 24/7, just what is meant by 24/7? Now I know that in general when someone says 24/7 they are referring to something that is a constant, back pain, heartache, depression, and everyone’s favorite taxes. Granted those are fairly simple and perhaps extreme examples. I read profiles that generally state “I am NOT looking for 24/7” and am curious as to what is meant by that.
I shall attempt to elucidate lol yeah right. My thoughts are perhaps they are saying they are only submissive (at this point I am using submissive yet I acknowledge this applies to dominants as well) on Saturday night between the hours of 7P.M. and 2A.M.. Perhaps they are saying they only wish to be submissive (or dominant) during certain phases of the lunar cycle. I really don’t know.
I am dominant by orientation, by mindset and by preference and yes 24/7. However does that mean I am 24/7 in the level of intensity that I give to said dominant orientation? No it doesn’t work that way at all, you tend to piss people off if you try to dominate them without consideration. So perhaps 24/7 is a misnomer, perhaps it reflects that said submissives, or dominants, are submissive or dominant all the time simply varying in their degrees of intensity.
I happen to be a firm believer in the various manner of saying this “I am a dominant/submissive but I am not your dominant/submissive”. Is it possible that 24/7 refers in some way to this? I am not sure. My thoughts on this tend to define it this way. Or rather perhaps my simplistic view of things tends to. Assume I have a submissive, assume she is married and we are in this D/s relationship with the partner’s full knowledge and consent. Assume she has children, job, all the vanilla appurtenances that make life possible and comfortable. As my submissive she is collared, owned, directed to whatever extent we have reached in our relationship. Is she my submissive while she is at work? Yes, however seeing as it is her livelihood we are discussing it is unrealistic to expect her to drop to her knees and call me “Daddy or Sir” when I call or come in to the office isn’t it? Same can be said when I go to pick her up for the weekend or evening or whatever as well, wouldn’t you say? After all her partner may well accept and agree buit it is highly unlikely they want to be actively exposed don’t you think? I could give more situations but if you haven’t gotten the picture by now you are unlikely to.
Does it make her less submissive to observe the proprieties of the vanilla settings I mentioned? In my opinion not at all, it may even perhaps make her more of a submissive to be able to handle those situations with the inner knowledge that soon she shall indeed be in a more active state of her submission to me. Apply the same line of reasoning to the dominant for a more rounded out viewpoint.
So what do you think ?
Sincerely
Crow


_____________________________

Insanity could be: taking the same action over and over while each time expecting different results.
“To thine own self be true,
And it must follow,
as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
William Shakespeare
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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/6/2005 6:41:22 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterCorvidae

I read profiles that generally state “I am NOT looking for 24/7” and am curious as to what is meant by that.



For me, it means I'm not looking for somebody to move in.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to MisterCorvidae)
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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/6/2005 7:14:38 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		When I say "I am not interested in 24/7" what I mean is "I am looking for a semi regular play partner I can also establish an ongoing mental/emotional connection with. I am sort of lazy and have little desire to be collared/owner or collar/own you as that is far too much responsibilty and devotion at this time. I might, however, be able to struggle through this pathalogical fear of commitment and commit to lunch next week if you are available."

But that is just me.

(in reply to MisterCorvidae)
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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/6/2005 7:23:49 PM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou
For me, it means I'm not looking for somebody to move in.


Yeah, that's pretty much what I mean, too

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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/6/2005 7:26:30 PM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		To me, 24/7 means that I'm always his submissive, and he is always my dominant.

We don't do S&M 24/7. Of course, S&M has nada to do with my submission nor his dominance. I am not on my knees 24/7. Of course, my knees and how I use them, has nothing to do with my submission, nor his dominance. I am not always *a* submissive. Sometimes, I am dominant. But I am always owned by him. I am always His.

Would he call me at work and have me kneel, right there? No. To work for a living, to earn a paycheck, to have the respect of my peers and supervisors, to tell him I have done my best every day, that is service to him, and he would not compromise that by a stupid show of sadism.



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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/6/2005 7:30:24 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

For me, it means I'm not looking for somebody to move in.


Yep, what they said. They are seeking play partners...so essentially any dungeon you go to you will find a good majority of these people.

(in reply to Misstoyou)
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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/6/2005 7:49:57 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

quote:

For me, it means I'm not looking for somebody to move in.


Yep, what they said. They are seeking play partners...so essentially any dungeon you go to you will find a good majority of these people.



Ouch! Not to open up a whole Freudian analysis, but actually, I think commitment-phobic is closer in my particular instance (waves to Sensualips) even though my relationships can last a long time. I had one submissive for ten years, and have yet to go to a dungeon.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to sub4hire)
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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/6/2005 8:01:35 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		OK well in my world there's a lot more variation than just "24/7 live-in" and "random play partner".

Friends, lovers, partners, life partners, occasional date, non-primary partner, and a couple other "levels" of relationships all exist in my circle of companions.

Not looking for 24/7 generally would mean they don't want an ongoing authority dynamic with another person. Anything beyond that is speculation.

(in reply to MisterCorvidae)
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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/6/2005 9:13:27 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

OK well in my world there's a lot more variation than just "24/7 live-in" and "random play partner".


Yep.

Two bright and sensitive people could hardly come together in a setting like this without having a discussion fairly early on about how and where this fits in their lives now and how they might like to have things ideally/pragmatically.

For the inexperienced or those limited to long-distance contact this conversation might come later rather than sooner and that might well lead to avoidable misunderstandings and heartache. This might also tend to happen in the cases of people who are just swept off their feet by the energy they encounter at their respective end of the power dynamic.

"What does 24/7 mean?" is a perfectly good way to start this conversation but the object should be to clarify for your potential partner your personal views about the province of BDSM in your own life.

Two different couples might carry on in ways that look interchangeable to the outside observer even as one couple says: "We're the kind of people for whom it is 24/7 or nothing," and the other couple says: "It is very important to us but we aren't the 24/7 type.

It is a fine question to ask in this forum too since kicking around a notion like this can be a great way to refine and sort out your own position or approach. It is just too bad that the term most often chosen for this discussion is so ugly.

Anybody into constant D&S? Assiduous BDSM? Steadfast mastery or seamless submission?

For me? In the kind of relationship I enjoy most it isn't always being served but it is always cooking.

Noah

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/6/2005 9:32:12 PM   
wipmebeetme100


Posts: 198
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

On to 24/7, just what is meant by 24/7?


My contract states that i am available to Master and Mistress every hour of every day.
I maintain my own place of residence...yet should they desire or be in need of my service at any time...i will be there. That is my definition of 24/7.

_____________________________

Happiness is like peeing your pants: Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth
~Unknown

(in reply to MisterCorvidae)
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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/6/2005 11:39:59 PM   
jro2020


Posts: 160
Joined: 10/23/2005
From: Idaho
Status: offline 		When i see it, I usually it assumes live ins. But you might just want to ask the person you are interested in specifically what they are looking for.

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Visit me at http://blog.kistren.com

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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/7/2005 8:33:20 AM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline 		To me 24/7 doesnt have anything to do with living arrangment. It means to me that i am always owned, He is always my Owner. I have rules, i know what is expected of me. I follow those rules and keep His best interest in mind at all times. It is about what is in your heart and mind, not where you live or who you live with.

i also agree with KittenWithaTwist.




_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"



(in reply to MisterCorvidae)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/7/2005 8:47:51 AM   
Soulhuntre


Posts: 223
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterCorvidae
On to 24/7, just what is meant by 24/7?


In common usage there are two differing definitions...

1) A live - in relationship

2) A submissive who is always responsible to and under his / her owners authority

That means no exemptiosn for family time, work or otherwise.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterCorvidae
I shall attempt to elucidate lol yeah right. My thoughts are perhaps they are saying they are only submissive (at this point I am using submissive yet I acknowledge this applies to dominants as well) on Saturday night between the hours of 7P.M. and 2A.M.. Perhaps they are saying they only wish to be submissive (or dominant) during certain phases of the lunar cycle. I really don’t know.



In many cases it is exactly like that. They will rigidly define the times when the dominant does or does not have the right to issue orders or make rules.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterCorvidae
directed to whatever extent we have reached in our relationship. Is she my submissive while she is at work? Yes, however seeing as it is her livelihood we are discussing it is unrealistic to expect her to drop to her knees and call me “Daddy or Sir” when I call or come in to the office isn’t it? Same can be said when I go to pick her up for the weekend or evening or whatever as well, wouldn’t you say? After all her partner may well accept and agree buit it is highly unlikely they want to be actively exposed don’t you think? I could give more situations but if you haven’t gotten the picture by now you are unlikely to.


I get the picture - but the fact that you have modified your rules isn't the same thing at all as saying she isn't under your control.

Let's put it this way - if YOU have modified your rules to accomodate her work, thats still 24/7 eligible. If her time at work places her fundementally outside your authority for that time, then it is not 24/7. It's pretty simple.


(in reply to MisterCorvidae)
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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/7/2005 9:58:51 AM   
Hersnuggiebums


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline 		Hello Sir,
I am glad that you brought this subject up, because it is one that in the circumstance of my submission to my owners, plays true. I am a mom, and thus have the obligation to my children first, this is not negotiable. This being said, I am available to my Mistress and Sir 24/7, if i have to bring the children, then so be it, but i am their slave, and as such make the sacrifice to be available. Mistress and I have discussed the need for me to be able to handle things in Her absence, this does not mean that I make my own decisions, but rather that the end result of a Decision has always come from Her. While I may need to change a diaper, feed my children, etc, all small decisions, I always know that all of my decisions are a reflection on my owners and as such I will know the decisions I make (small ones) would be done in a pleasing way. I am not sure if I am making sense. Basically all the Big decisions need to be decided by Mistress or Sir, the small decisions I have to make in my every day existance are made with the knowledge of what they would expect in those situations. Im not sure I have explained this correctly, but in a nut shell, there isnt any facet of my life that I am not a 24/7 slave to them.


(in reply to Soulhuntre)
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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/7/2005 10:40:24 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterCorvidae


I am dominant by orientation, by mindset and by preference and yes 24/7. However does that mean I am 24/7 in the level of intensity that I give to said dominant orientation? No it doesn’t work that way at all, you tend to piss people off if you try to dominate them without consideration. So perhaps 24/7 is a misnomer, perhaps it reflects that said submissives, or dominants, are submissive or dominant all the time simply varying in their degrees of intensity.



I'd agree with this above distinction, MisterCorvidae.

And add that when I say I'm 24/7 I mean that I am in a relationship where my natural dominant personality is recognized, respected, and acknowledged by a person who is in service to me. Regardless of the other things in our lives, we see our authority and power dynamic as defining our relationship first and foremost. Anything else (love, friendship, RPGs, singing, movies, living together, etc) grows out of this intial relationship dynamic.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MisterCorvidae)
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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/7/2005 11:09:19 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I think commitment-phobic is closer in my particular instance (waves to Sensualips) even though my relationships can last a long time. I had one submissive for ten years, and have yet to go to a dungeon


That ws my point. Most who are 24/7 can play anytime they care to. They don't have to go out someplace to play. Unless it is to meet friends.
A bit off track but I was answering thought.

For me 24/7 merely means under his or her control at all times. I have a career I am in charge of. How could he be? After all he does not have the training I have within my career.
Yet, if something were to come up...I'd call him. There are times a dominant is also going to need a shoulder to lean on, at that point a good submissive is going to be there for them. Just the hopes are the dominant doesn't need a shoulder everyday of every week there is.

(in reply to Misstoyou)
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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/7/2005 11:59:45 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMspeach

To me 24/7 doesnt have anything to do with living arrangment. It means to me that i am always owned, He is always my Owner. I have rules, i know what is expected of me. I follow those rules and keep His best interest in mind at all times. It is about what is in your heart and mind, not where you live or who you live with.

i also agree with KittenWithaTwist.



Oh I agree with this. We are long distance right now, but for me he is my Dom and I always think of myself as his submissive. And once were living together it means that 24/7 he owns me.





_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/8/2005 7:05:49 AM   
MisterCorvidae


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/15/2004
From: Crow
Status: offline 		Good Morning
I want to say thank you for the viewpoints that have been expressed on this topic. I also have a viewpoint which follows.
24/7 is to me a mindset, a constant recognition of the orientation I feel best defines my sense of self identity. I am of the opinion that everything in life has a D/s connotation. You can be the very best numero uno in your chosen field and yet at some point you are going to submit to someone, or conversely, have to dominate someone which may be completely out the window as far as your self identity is concerned. Examples would be a mid to high level white collar employee that is submissive, being the head of a department, said submissive is going to have to dominate those under them to a certain extent. Deadlines to be met, performance to be improved, terminations to be handled etc. Then there is the Dominant in the same position that has to submit to their higher ups directives, ironically perhaps a higher up that might well be submissive.
As I look at it from a more strictly lifestyle engendered perspective I see how a submissive might be forced to take a dominant stance in some things, example would be dealing with a dominant that has yet to learn basic standards and insists that because the submissive is submissive then said submissive should be subservient to them as well. Alternately you have the submissive that behaves as if every Dominant is fully allowed to give them directives and it is their Dominants responsibility to take care of any and all infringements of said submissives “submission and indiscreet subservience to all Doms”. That is not what I think of it as being either though.
To reiterate elucidate and likely complicate matters further, I feel that 24/7 can be summed up as. “By striving constantly to maintain your sense of self identity while protecting oneself and the significant other(s) thru your thoughts, actions and manner you are 24/7”. A submissive protects their dominant with their actions as much as a dominant protects their submissive with their own. It doesn’t have anything to do with the toys, or the parties or gatherings although those would likely be the points of easiest observation. Levels of protocol vary, levels of intensity vary levels of all things within the relationship vary but the one constant being that you are either owner or owned, or more accurately seek to be either owner or owned.
This question does not address Switches, it wasn’t meant to however I do feel that most switches have a certain set of personality traits they recognize that makes it one way or the other for them with that individual.
I again thank those that responded and remind you that these thoughts are my thoughts and not necessarily your thoughts on the question. I seek not to change your mind but to simply hear your expression of your impression of what it might mean. I have heard some interesting thoughts for which I am grateful.
Sincerely
Crow


_____________________________

Insanity could be: taking the same action over and over while each time expecting different results.
“To thine own self be true,
And it must follow,
as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
William Shakespeare

(in reply to MisterCorvidae)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/8/2005 7:50:48 AM   
themischievous1


Posts: 151
Joined: 4/3/2005
From: San Antonio, Texas
Status: offline
quote:

MisterCorvidae:

To reiterate elucidate and likely complicate matters further, I feel that 24/7 can be summed up as. “By striving constantly to maintain your sense of self identity while protecting oneself and the significant other(s) thru your thoughts, actions and manner you are 24/7”. A submissive protects their dominant with their actions as much as a dominant protects their submissive with their own. It doesn’t have anything to do with the toys, or the parties or gatherings although those would likely be the points of easiest observation. Levels of protocol vary, levels of intensity vary levels of all things within the relationship vary but the one constant being that you are either owner or owned, or more accurately seek to be either owner or owned.



I really like your definition and think it fits my perception of the phrase 24/7 fairly well. I'm just starting out in a relationship that is only about 3 months old. We haven't publicly labeled ourselves, though I already feel owned by Him and refer to Him as "Master." It's been a long time since I've been in an exclusive commitment, much less one that inclines toward M/s or O/p. I know I greatly desire to be owned, collared by, and pleasing to Him on a 24/7 basis. Saying that and living that 24/7 are two different things though. I don't think this kind of relationship happens over night. I guess it's a mindset and that kind of mindset is going to take time and practice to refine. He appears to be a patient Man who dominates naturally and with ease, which is a good thing for both of us because I suspect I'm challenging and not for the fainthearted. Thank you for the topic, Sir.

(in reply to MisterCorvidae)
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RE: Definitions ?: 24/7? - 11/8/2005 9:50:20 AM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		The way i always understood it, 24/7 means you live with your dominant/slave full time. It doesn't necessarily mean, you prance around in fetish clothes all day, but that your relationship is M/s or D/s and you share a household.

(in reply to MisterCorvidae)
Profile   Post #: 20
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