missturbation
Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006 From: another planet Status: offline
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quote:
Only one of my relationships fits into this mould. Sir and i do not have love in our relationship and nor do either of us want it. We don't even have a friendship per se. If i ceased to function as an adequate slave it would just plain and simple be over. This was my reply to Stephann's thread on having love in a relationship and why people think relationships without it are deficient or inferior. Watching replies to that thread i have to think that people who do not need/ want love are in the minority. I may be wrong though! It got me to thinking though that the fact i don't need / want love from Sir and that we also do not have a friendship per se would make me a definite minority. The question of friendship once arose for me and Sir when we were discussing status. The following was the result............ For me there are two different categories of status! The first, impersoonal status includes class, financial, job. The second is personal staus and includes friend, lover, husband, wife, colleague, girlfriend, boyfriend, dom and sub. Whilst discussing personal status with Sir i said that i thought we had a friendship as well as the D/s dynamic. Sir questioned my statement asking whether i would rather be his friend or be used for his enjoyment, amusement and pleasure? i replied off the cuff by saying i would rather have both. The reply i recieved showed obvious displeasure in my response so i began to ponder the question a little deeper! After careful thought i realised that the area i saw us having a friendship in (the conversations we have) actually have nothing to do with us being friends. Sir and i have these conversations because he allows them and that they are for his pleasure and amusement. I related this to Sir and he then asked how i thought friendship would change the dynamic between us? The simplistic answer i gave was that it just would and i did not desire any other dynamic than the one we have. Sir replied that my reply left a lot to be desired! To look a little deeper, in my opinion friends are usually on an equal footing, equal standing, of equal personal status. Friends usually make joint decisions on things like where to go, what to do etc. Friends discuss issues and compromise when the need arises. The dynamic Sir and i have does not give me equal footing, equal standing, equal status. It does not give me the rights to make decisions about where we go or what we do. Nor does it mean Sir has to discuss issues or compromise with me. Friendship would blur the lines of our dynamic, ie, when to be Sir and piece of filth and when to be friends. It would give me a personal status i i do not desire! I am perfectly happy being a piece of filth used by him and nothing more. It would also alter the headspace i have with him. The power would shift slightly in my opinion. This would cause difficulties in mevel of submission as i would perhaps think more along the lines us being friends (discussion, compromise, more equal status) rather than the truth which is i am there for his use, enjoyment and pleasure. I guess im just leaving this for open discussion really. Interested to see if anyone else (and i know the answer is usually yes but im dubious on this one) has the kind of dynamic that has no room for love or friendship?
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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb. If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it. Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!
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