Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Quid Pro Quo


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Quid Pro Quo Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 11:15:17 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Glad you said that camille... I was going for the same thing... but couldn't figure out how to be nice about it. 

_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 11:16:40 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Aw jeez Lynnxz. That was me doing my utmost to come across as not-nice.


*note to self, work on being able to come across as an aggressive bitch*


_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 11:16:46 AM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LacedCorset

If you haven't noticed a rise maybe you should talk to the people in this area. I have found that many people are injurred from a worker's comp injurry and have been on there for over 3+ years....others have had other kinds of injurries. Maybe its my area because Louisiana isn't known for being that good of a state. But how come I have chatted with several and the outcome is practically the same.


that may be a locality thing more than a 'scene' thing. 'scene' and 'lifestyle' are exceptionally general terms, and i have a feeling you would find that the 'scene' and 'lifestyle' thing here are different than where you are. but worker's comp also covers a wide range of injuries as well, some of which have nothing to do with their ability to function with regards to their play.


_____________________________


“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

(in reply to LacedCorset)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 11:16:53 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		There are in fact, people who "desire" to be disabled.  Surely at least some of you remember the show (48 hours or some other pseudo-documentary show) about people who deliberately damage their own limbs so they must be amputated, and the thread by the guy who wanted to do this to some as-yet-unobtained slave, which, thankfully, was yanked.

The term for it is "Body Integrity Identity Disorder" when it is applied to yourself.  When sexual arousal is involved, it is apotemnophilia when applied to yourself; acrotomophilia when it is applied to someone else.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to metalmiss)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 11:17:56 AM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

The term for it is "Body Integrity Identity Disorder" when it is applied to yourself.  When sexual arousal is involved, it is apotemnophilia when applied to yourself; acrotomophilia when it is applied to someone else.

Cali



thank you! i've been sitting here trying to remember the official terms for it.


_____________________________


“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 11:23:08 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LacedCorset
But how come I have chatted with several and the outcome is practically the same.


What do you mean the "outcome" is practically the same?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LacedCorset)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 11:32:24 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

There are two reasons for this post.
  1. Is there are a desire by others in the lifestyle to be disabled?


Removing the appalling 'lifestyle' part - I doubt there is a desire by others anymore than in any walk of life.  Apart from having a disorder, maybe people are just more honest with their disabilities because honesty tends to be such the catchall phrase for BDSM?

quote:

   2. Am I the only one that recognizes the rise of disabled beings in the lifestyle?

Maybe.  My thought is that you simply are biased because of your own fear.  People tend to notice and seperate out what they fear the most occuring to them.  People who participate in BDSM circles and activites come from all walks of life so expecting them to be 'different' or 'more whole' would be naive.
 
And as an aside, many people would view obesity as a disability as it is natural energy stored and exceeds a healthy level.  So I would challenge you to define 'disability' and then question whether yourself may be included.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to LacedCorset)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 11:38:13 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LacedCorset
There are two reasons for this post.
  1. Is there are a desire by others in the lifestyle to be disabled?
  2. Am I the only one that recognizes the rise of disabled beings in the lifestyle?

I know someone that wanted to be disabled so badly they lied about being blind.  They had a leader dog, cane and the whole 9 yards.  They wanted the attention.  However, they didn’t poke their eyes out to affect real blindness. 

I have met people that wanted dehumanization so badly, they would have done almost anything.  The list of disfigurements is endless.  I recall talking with someone that wanted to be kept helpless in a cage and wanted their legs cut off but, I am pretty sure that one was just a fantasy.  Filtering through all the crap in my memory I’m not sure if I have ever come across anyone that truly wanted to be permanently physically disabled. 

However, on the other hand, the chop a titty, chop a finger, chop my tongue or chop my nuts off crowds are not uncommon. 
As far as a rise in disabled in the lifestyle, I think it is proportionate with the rise in integrating disabled people into society in general.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to LacedCorset)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 11:42:11 AM   
LacedCorset


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		A little background into who I am.....yes I work in a therapist office. Yes I see it everyday. Some that are claiming to be disabled are truly limited with their functional ability. Some it is striclty neurological. I myself have made my own decision to not be involved with anyone that has been functionally been limited long term. This is my choice. I want to be with someone that has full range of motion and full ADL's. (activities for daily life) I don't see myself getting spanked or being tied up by a man that has to take a breather every 5 minutes because he can't keep up nor would I want to be with a man that I have to change my lifestyle to suit. These are my choices....and preferences....none have to be questioned either if I'm a sub or a switch. I am who I am.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 11:46:39 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		What would you do if you were with your "perfect" partner and one day they suddenly became disabled? Would you just turn and walk out on them? Or would you stay and find ways to work around their disabilities and concentrate on what they COULD do and not what they COULDN'T?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LacedCorset)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 11:47:07 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		LC, I can dig not wanting to be a nurse from the get-go.  However, I hope that you will keep in mind that ANY of us can become disabled for a variety of reasons, pretty much at any time.  Would you abandon your relationship if your dominant wound up in  a wheelchair? 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LacedCorset)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 11:51:48 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I absolutely get its your choice.  However my point is that to another person you are disabled - yet in your mind you may not be so.  Obesity may not be affecting you now, but in the long term, it heightens many health problems and hence - when looking at entering a long term relationship - this will be considered.
 
Yes there are people with the sexual attraction to being disabled.  Yes there are people who are attracted to disabilities and of course - there will always be the white knight syndrome.  But marking 'disability' as purely the inability to function in every conceivable way is narrow minded.
 
Noticing a rise in disability does not mean it is true - it just means you are more sensitive to that particular minority of people in the same way as some male submissives have issues with there being more pro dominants than females dominants and make similar posts to yours highlighting the issue as if it is a sudden swing when in reality it may not be, just increased sensitivity because of what the individual looks for in a person.  You mention you work in theraphy and therefore you have an increased sensitivity in that area IMO.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to LacedCorset)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 12:04:35 PM   
LacedCorset


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		Thedark, I must agree with you.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 12:22:48 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

What would you do if you were with your "perfect" partner and one day they suddenly became disabled?


I don't know about that, but I certainly wouldn't go out of my way be BEGIN a relationship with someone disabled., or who wanted to become disabled in the future. 

Love is supposed to be enough to hold people to their spouse in a situation such as this.  Some stay, some leave. It is an individual choice.


(in reply to LacedCorset)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 12:32:11 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LacedCorset
I want to be with someone that has full range of motion


sweetie, just from your build YOU don't have a 'full range of motion'... that I wouldn't consider 'disabled'... the fact that you have a bad attitude and a closed mind... I consider more disabled than someone who maybe missing a limb or two!

quote:

nor would I want to be with a man that I have to change my lifestyle to suit.


Ah... yes... the 'do-me-bunny style so-called sub' who only 'submits' (aledgedly) under the EXACT specified terms if she can mug some poor bastard into jumping through those hoops.... and then wonders why what they get ain't exactly Dominant LOL


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to LacedCorset)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 12:39:15 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

What would you do if you were with your "perfect" partner and one day they suddenly became disabled?


I don't know about that, but I certainly wouldn't go out of my way be BEGIN a relationship with someone disabled., or who wanted to become disabled in the future. 

Love is supposed to be enough to hold people to their spouse in a situation such as this.  Some stay, some leave. It is an individual choice.




Where would you draw the line that would exempt people from the "potential partner" pool? As someone else mentioned, would those who need a hearing aid or glasses be cast aside? Someone prone to back aches or headaches? Fibromyalgia? Missing body parts?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 12:40:25 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Haha, I am officially 10% disabled... *Hops in the reject bin with everyone else*

_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 12:47:55 PM   
daddysblondie


Posts: 181
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		Wow.... just wow.

I guess I'm just thankful that my "limited range of motion" due to a workers comp injury has NEVER been an issue between Daddy and I. When we together started noticing that having my hands/wrists bound above my head was wreaking havoc on my shoulder the first thing he suggested was finding a different way to achieve the same goal without causing me undue discomfort and pain.

I would think that by completely excluding anyone with any type/level of disability from your pool of potentials you're missing out on a lot of fabulous people. Your loss really...

(in reply to LacedCorset)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 12:49:00 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

What would you do if you were with your "perfect" partner and one day they suddenly became disabled?


I don't know about that, but I certainly wouldn't go out of my way be BEGIN a relationship with someone disabled., or who wanted to become disabled in the future. 

Love is supposed to be enough to hold people to their spouse in a situation such as this.  Some stay, some leave. It is an individual choice.




Where would you draw the line that would exempt people from the "potential partner" pool? As someone else mentioned, would those who need a hearing aid or glasses be cast aside? Someone prone to back aches or headaches? Fibromyalgia? Missing body parts?


mist... I think you maybe read came4U's post slightly wrong (or I have?) in that the way I read it she is saying she wouldn't rule out someone 'disabled', she just isn't 'going out of her way' to look for one... Which I think applies to most open minded folks, they search for the right person... if that person happens to have a disability is isn't an automatic barrier.

Two of the girls I was looking at potential with this last couple of years happen to have 'disabilitys' (one blind, one can't walk particularly well... in neither case was that the issue that ment they where not suitable (Actualy distance in both cases... as you need face to face time to get things started)... I got talking to the PEOPLE and they just happened to have that condition... neither ment they couldn't be a lovely slave.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Quid Pro Quo - 6/24/2008 12:49:47 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

sweetie, just from your build YOU don't have a 'full range of motion'... that I wouldn't consider 'disabled'... the fact that you have a bad attitude and a closed mind... I consider more disabled than someone who maybe missing a limb or two!




Love, bring that sweet scotish brogue this way and I'll show you that fat girls can have full range of motion.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Quid Pro Quo Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125