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Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 2:03:38 AM   
leakylee


Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		ok the question to Sadist really got me wondering. basically along the same idea as that thread.

where do you think those tendencies arise from? do you prefer to that the infliction come from someone that enjoys inflicting pain, or rather enjoys the pleasure that you recieve from it?

i guess the best example i know of this is the one that will gladly beat you silly,cuz you asked and wanted it, or the one that will tell ya no, just cuz they can. (did that make sense)

now i know that the sadism and masso isnt exclusive to orientation, but for the submissive masso. do you feel that it relates to your submissive in any way, or is it more of a take for the pleasure's sake?

thank you, inquiring minds wanna know.

smooches
lee

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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 2:16:36 AM   
leakylee


Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		i guess i could answer my own bloody thread.

i am not a 100% sure where the tendacies come from. the pain fixes started getting satisfied by poking holes in my body years ago. the longer i am at this the more comfortable i am with myself, and trying things that generally make others go huh?!?

personally i prefer sadists in scenes. there is something about the energy exchange from someone that is truly enjoying what they are doing to you, versus someone letting you enjoy.

i screwed myself with this question. being with a dominant sadist pushes me to extend myself. my desire to please has pushed my limits as much as anything else. i think that alone is responsible for boardening my warpage as much as anything. (ok the fact that i have enjoyed every step of it helps alot)

ok end 5am ramblings.

smooches
lee

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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 2:38:34 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		As a Dominant who is very into being a really sadistic bastard (but within S.S.C limits) I'm glad that the pain I inflict can be simply for My enjoyment if that's what I want, but, talking from the other side of the orientation I would only seriously enjoy being sadistic with someone who themselves was enjoying it, and only then, until they stopped enjoying it.

Maybe I'm too soft though. :).

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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 3:10:24 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I'm a masochistic Dom.   My maso streak I'm about 99% was result of a control and coping mechanism back in my childhood.  Where I learned to accept and process pain for my own protection.   Let's me to attempt to explain in part.

This goes way back to my childhood in the 70's.   We had moved from Upstate Rural Western NY to Mobile, AL.  (aka the Heartland of Dixie).  I was not prepared for the major social changes.   For all practical reasons, though I might as well been black.   You see, I was something known as a "Yankee".  The object of hatred by die hard rebel redneck kids.

My earliest years were a bitch.  The fights were not one on one.  It was many taking down one.   Why because I was a Yankee.

Anyways, started to get my ass lynched in packs of redneck kids, that after awhile I started to develop pain coping skills.  Then I discovered the Magic Power of Masochism.  Like it was some form of super human power!   You know to be just like Batman or superman..  To have somebody do something to you, and HELL well you just ain't feeling it.

This gave me a whole new sense of control.  Basically, it started to freak the other kids out.   They did not understand it.  It's funny how it's not very much fun trying to fight a Masochistic, and if anything it scares people at times.

There was a point when I realized this super human like power of being a Masochist.   I started to work on it, grow it.   In fact, I loved the Mindfuck factor to it as well.   Great coping and suvivial thing when dealing with Sadistic Redneck kids growing up.   It's about like somebody trying to fight Jason, you know the friday the 13th movies.   It was more like batman or superman in my mind as a kid though to be honest.

Then I discover something called fear! Some people freak out at shit.  So, I would do crazy things at times.   Such as be the kid that pulls off his t-shirt and roll around in broken glass on the ground.  Very minor cuts if any a lot of times.  Still, it was the whole mindfuck factor.  Who wants to mess with and fight a crazy Son of a Bitch. 

There's many other things, I could add.  But my Maso streak I'm convinced was the result of taking control, and if anything a weapon to mindfuck others with.  Mind you, I was being 100% real about it.  Not just some act, I just got off on the power I was tapping into plus the control and fear it placed in others.

Over the years, I've had people attempt to scare with threats to beat my ass or whatever.  I'm the kind of guys that stands there unphased by threats.  If you are gonna fight me, you are going to have to take the first swing and make contact.  Basically, being Maso means freedom from the fear of being hurt. 

People can't use that fear to control me.

However, the down side is that, I have to have my Pain fix.  Yes, I discovered I actually enjoy pain.  Then again, this is part of what being a maso is all about.  It can be just as power of a weapon as sadism.

It tends to piss my off, when dealing with a fear Ingornant fucks who have this mindset that True Doms can not be Maso.   People that are so deep into hosting or throwing play parties, that don't understand the FINE CONTROL aspects of being Masochistic.

My world of twisted BDSM and kink is an Evolution of my natural life. Not some stupid Hollywood porn, or from Doing Scenes alone.  My Dom skills were early in development back in my childhood.  It's not all about sex, and kink either.

Let's just say I'm no Wussy boy.  I learned the meaning of challenging the Leader in these little Redneck Kid gangs.  Face to face, and I'm going to fuck you up.. not matter how hard you fuck me up... I'm going to have your ass in my hand.. before this fight is through.   If you think you are going to beat me down and break me with pain... LOL... let's Scrap.   Group leaders don't enjoy being verbally humilated either..  then again they don't like when you are making swings right for their face.. and don't give a shit about how much pain they might inflict.   Priceless Power!

This is how being Maso factors in with my DOM streak, something that got started long long time ago in the 70's for me.  Plus it becomes a little bit of a thrill to Bully school yard bullies... sort of super hereoish in a twisted way.  God, I don't know who was more fucked in the head... me or the twisted redneck bully kids.  I was the enemy, I was a Yankee..  They were rednecks or assholes that needed to be put back in their place.   Great feeling at times saving some poor kids ass that was getting picked on to death or beaten up.   I had a high degree of empathy for the victims of school bullies.  Besides School Bullies for the most part, I learned were really pussy's.   They could dish it out, but not take things really well. 

Such are the lessons I learned in Elementary School...   in The Heart of Dixie.

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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 4:00:51 AM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		I don't know where the tendencies come from.   I don't enjoy pain just for pain's sake.  My pleasure and enjoyment comes from receiving the pain from my Dom, not from some Tom, Dick or Harry down the street beating the hell out of me.    I have a pretty high threshold for pain but just any, old ordinary pain, doesn't do anything for me.  

It's the connection between me and my Dom that I get when He's inflicting the pain.   It's knowing He enjoyed dishing it out as much as I enjoyed receiving it.   But that's just one part that makes the relationship.    But it's an important part of the relationship.  

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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 4:08:27 AM   
leakylee


Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite

As a Dominant who is very into being a really sadistic bastard (but within S.S.C limits) I'm glad that the pain I inflict can be simply for My enjoyment if that's what I want, but, talking from the other side of the orientation I would only seriously enjoy being sadistic with someone who themselves was enjoying it, and only then, until they stopped enjoying it.

Maybe I'm too soft though. :).


nono.. not to soft in my opinion. to me that is where the best energy comes from. knowing that my partner is enjoying what he/she is doing to me. that the infliction itself is a joy. that energy and flow is nearly as satisfying as the pain itself

lee

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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 4:14:40 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		It's a little twisted for me at times, because I'm sadomaso mixture of both.  Mind you now days, I simply need pain at times.  As per my Maso Reset Button thread.  I'm sadistc as well, my well for that is somewhat varied.

Again, I'm 99% as to where my Maso streak got started/   However, interesting enough my own mother has high pain tolerence.  So, perhaps there's a whole genetic thing about it as well. 

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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 4:16:56 AM   
leakylee


Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		WOW!!

that is incredible. i understand the tendacies and the buildings behind it, but i gotta say left me stunned stupid quiet. (that aint easy either) also gave momentary shivers for said victims of your mind fuckings. eek!!

lee

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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 5:50:26 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leakylee

WOW!!

that is incredible. i understand the tendacies and the buildings behind it, but i gotta say left me stunned stupid quiet. (that aint easy either) also gave momentary shivers for said victims of your mind fuckings. eek!!

lee

lee, in so many ways I was not given a choice in becoming who and what I am today.  There is a greater awareness of Bullying that goes on at schools and the out of control problem it can be.  Violence in schools is not some new trend of the 2000+ years.  It's been going on for a long ass time.   It just happens to have media attention now.   It's an ugly truth, that kids can be cruel and sadistic. That kids tend to learn hatred from thier parents.

Very difficult to deal with when you are the actual target of it.  I was a white boy living in borderline rual suburbia.  Yet, I experienced the wonders of racial hatred because of where I was geographically born.  Hatred is not just limited to race or religion.  It's a bit of a Paradox considering my last name is a German one too.

Which is another topic, I could get into, after I moved back to NY for my last couple of years for high school.  I had a Jewish teacher that taught AP Social studies, she was all the time making friggen remarks about my last name and such.  I was probally the least racist of a person you'd ever meet, even more so after my childhood experiences in The Heart of Dixie.  So Yankee, Aryan whatever damn stupid label you want to slap on me because of where I was born or my friggen bloodline.   I really could care less, I was not part of the Civil War, I was not a Nazi fighting anybody in WWII.  

I'm just a white middle class american.  Nobody wants to talk about anybody Jewish with an attitude towards some poor white boy with a German last name.  Minute I stand up and make that call... I'm the Nazi.. Stupid!  Like I'm some off spring of Hitler or something!  My Family was well Moved over here and Americanized Before the First World War.

I despise and equally hate all racist, regardless of age, color, religion, creed, background or whatever else..     

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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 6:01:37 AM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline 		Hi Leakylee
 
well, I am still answering the question
   " am I reallllly a masso??" for myself...but I will respond to this thread...just in case I am   grinz
 
 I don't cum when I accidently hit my thumb with a hammer, I cuss cuz it hurts dammit..........and I do need serious amounts of laughing gas just to walk into the dentist office. 
    I don't seem to become aroused by the pain itself, but rather  the mindset that goes along with the pleasure/pain inflicted....and for me, my mind is "set"  by a male dominant with authoritative control and a sadistic streak.
 
Where do these tendancies come from?
 
   Not completely sure.  But I can say that even from a young age...I learned that my "hard to express emotions" ( or ones I was not permitted to show ) were easily released through self-inflicted pain.
  And then as a grown adult, with some solidly built walls and emotional armour firmly intact, the application of pain w/dominance could get behind them and allow me to see and feel all of me once again.
 
  I guess what that means is
As a submissive, my pleasure comes when  I submit/serve.   I serve his pleasure and sometimes his pleasure is  to inflict the pain that he desires to give. 
  and as a masso and submissive, I feel pleasureable relief/release  when my deeper and darker emotions and feelings are released from my dark places...and it seems the way to get "there" is by his sadistic inflictions.

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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 6:22:17 AM   
UBERMUNSCHIST


Posts: 116
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

It's a little twisted for me at times, because I'm sadomaso mixture of both.  Mind you now days, I simply need pain at times.  As per my Maso Reset Button thread.  I'm sadistc as well, my well for that is somewhat varied.

Again, I'm 99% as to where my Maso streak got started/   However, interesting enough my own mother has high pain tolerence.  So, perhaps there's a whole genetic thing about it as well. 


What do you mean by: ["I'm 99% as to where my Maso streak got started/"] and why do you keep typing it over and over again?



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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 7:09:44 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		i began my erotic relationship with pain when i was five. i pulled off my scab, and delighted in the power, the look of the blood, the taste of the blood, the feel of the pain and knowing that i could stand it, and then the little head rush i got....

as my relationship with pain grew, i began to enjoy more severe types of pain, pulling off whole finger and toenails, biting tastbuds off, needles and blades.

when i began to be old enough to play with boys, it was a natural progression to teach them these things because at this point i had cultivated the relationship with pain to almost a conessure level. I wanted the boys i played with to play pain games with me, but i never found a sadist back then, i did not know they existed. nor did i find a massochist boy, so it was a real delight when i found a boy that liked to bite me, back when i was 16.

i think in hindsite that might be why i moved to london, i saw cute fem boys wearing makeup with saftypins in thier cheeks and i thought..."those are my people"

did i answer the question?




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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 7:27:56 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

pulling off whole finger and toenails
  O.O Yeeep! Ok- there's a pain I can't handle, I flail around and fidget when I get fake nails put on...


I'm selfish in my masochism. I don't really do it because it makes the sadist feel good about himself, and if it's not the type of pain that I enjoy, then I can't take as much of it. Every once in a while, I'll get stressed, bitchy, and frusturated with everyday life. Before I met R, the only solution was to either get a quick fix by myself, or to drive a fricking hour to my friends house, and fuck the shit out of him... he was a bit of a sadist I suppose, better than nothing right?

Anyway, now when I feel the need, I'll go to R, and he will quite happily cane my ass to oblivion for me.

I'm not sure how I got to be like this. I've always found an interest in pain, from touching the stove when I was little, to thumbtacking my hand to my desk in class. (Now that I think about it, that was probably a rude thing to do in class)


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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 10:27:25 AM   
metalmiss


Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline 		For me, i prefer the pain to come from somebody who enjoys inflicting pain, rather than them doing it just for my pleasure.. That wouldn't work for me, if i expected somebody to do something like that to scratch my itch & not get anything out of the act themselves, then i don't consider that i would be being submissive.. Hence it would never happen.
my Master is a Sadist, He takes His pleasure from inflicting both the kind of pain i hate & the pain i enjoy.. And i take the most of my pleasure from pleasing Him in either case.
That isn't to say that i'm not masochistic, when i get into the right headspace i am very much a pain slut.. But i just see that as another element of me which feeds my submission.


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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 10:37:18 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		i can barely take any pain on my ass....i have an idea that is because as a kid i used to get severe whippings with a belt and other things that were excessively cruel.

admittedly, i'm not a pain slut and pain scares the shit out of me probably because my threshold for it is so low.  i can take severe types of abrasion and thuddish types of pain, but anything pinpointed or sharp i can't handle. 

i couldn't be with a sadist that hurt me just to hurt me, i can't get my mind to wrap around that idea.  i'm not slamming anyones kink here, i'm just saying it isn't one that i understand or could apply to myself.  i've explored pain before on my own and with others and with time and patience i can take a lot more than i originally thought i could which makes me feel good in a strange sort of way.  

sorry i'm not more clear on this, i'm not sure i understand it myself.

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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 1:13:29 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		I had a lot of practice growing up in how to deal with pain, and yes, I have a history of self harm, though not all of it was self injury, and none of what I did to myself was "erotic" in anyway.  I've no real idea where the masochism comes from, but chances are it's conditioned in some way.

I don't like playing with people who are indulging me in my love of pain.  This doesn't mean that sometimes I scratch an itch, but, there's something about playing with someone who is getting off on pushing you farther than you really want to go that works for me.  Or someone who I know, when they're done beating me will f*ck me, regardless of my personal preference.

Oh, and you can be a masochist in more ways than just taking pain.  6ALevels works just dandy too :P

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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 1:26:47 PM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		I separate the masochist and the submissive in me.  on the one hand, I am a total painslut when it comes to *some* pain.  the spanking, caning, flogging, etc...beat me like that and I will be happy, happy, happy.  other pain, such as nipple torture, any kind of pinchy-owie kind I submit to as part of the terms of my relationship with Daddy.  I don't necessarily enjoy the pain, but I enjoy the effects.

it's all good .

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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 2:06:12 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I'v e never considered myself a masochist.  Though I'm willing to concede that may be an unwillingness to accept the term much like I balk at the idea of being a slave.  However, I've been whipped and pinched and paddled and flogged and cut on, etc. and from what the sadistic bazturd (said with adoring respect of course) told me afterwards, made a mess on the ground because of my orgasms that resulted from it.  So, I'm thinking I enjoyed it.  Wish I'd been at least half aware of what I was doing, so I could validate my sadistic bazturd ex-boyfriend's claims.

Where did the tendency come from?  Conditioning.  That sadistic bazturd (again said with affection and respect) wanted to hurt me; I wanted to make him happy and so he set about conditioning me to enjoy the pain.  Truth is, I'd typically cry (and yes actually have) just getting my ears pierced.  I don't particularly like pain, AT ALL, and only accepted it as a means of keeping my man full of his warm fuzzies, or full of something at any rate.

That was years ago, and I haven't had a relationship like it since.  Though I have bottomed since.  Some of the experiences were amazingly fun and great, others not so much, but nothing compares to the pleasure that I felt when it was done for something other than the sake of receiving the sensation for the sensation's sake.  I think the catch ditty is YMMV?  And there you have it.  Winsome Defiance in a nutshell.

WD

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 6/19/2008 2:10:20 PM >

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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 6:10:39 PM   
slaveluvs2btied


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/17/2008
Status: offline 		i am a masochist slave. Pain is something i have always enjoyed recieving... to me it is theraputic in ways.
in a scene i prefer to be with and play with a Sadist. though there are so few that i have met that will actually take me as far as i need to go so i can cry as much as i can.
i would rather that the Sadist truely just love giving me the pain.

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RE: Question for massos? - 6/19/2008 6:13:47 PM   
dodedo


Posts: 48
Joined: 11/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leakylee
where do you think those tendencies arise from? do you prefer to that the infliction come from someone that enjoys inflicting pain, or rather enjoys the pleasure that you recieve from it?


I think it's just chance that I had an interest in S/m.  I think that the reason I enjoy it, and many others, is that our brains are wired in such a way that pain releases endorphins, and in the end we cannot draw the line between the pain we're feeling, and the thrill we're getting from it.  I won't understand why some people get high from jumping out of airplanes, and some people won't under stand why I get giddy when someone's beating my ass with a cane.

As a personal preference, I do not play with people who I am not emotionally attached to in a monogomous situation.  I'm okay with my partner playing, basically, but I do not feel the need to play with others.

In the past, I've had both sadists, and submissive tops, boyfriends who would hurt me and tie me up and do the things I wanted sexually, who did not necessarily get any pleasure from the act, but who did receive pleasure from my pleasure.  And I can tell you that those relationships were not satisfying for me.

If they don't want to hurt me, it makes me feel all weird thinking that they're just doing it for me.  I don't want to do things with someone that they don't enjoy.  I wouldn't seek out a sadist who didn't *care* if I enjoyed it - if they don't care that I enjoy it, that's a big red flag.  But if they are sadists who want to hurt me, love that I love it, and wouldn't be satisfied in a relationship that didn't involve a masochist, they might be the man for me.

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