Interviewing new subs

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Interviewing new subs

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Interviewing new subs

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Interviewing new subs - 6/15/2008 11:27:35 AM

MistressAthenaX

Posts: 13
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

So this is my first post on the message boards...

This is a very open ended question, intended to spark some interesting conversation! What questions do you ask a new sub who approaches you online?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Interviewing new subs - 6/15/2008 11:49:28 AM

CoasttoCoast

Posts: 71
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline

"Are you sure you meant to contact me? Maybe you misspelled someone else's name?"

(in reply to MistressAthenaX)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Interviewing new subs - 6/15/2008 11:51:57 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressAthenaX

So this is my first post on the message boards...

This is a very open ended question, intended to spark some interesting conversation! What questions do you ask a new sub who approaches you online?

MistressAthenaX, I've been asked, in the past, very direct questions. A few that stick out in my mind are:

1.) What are you looking for? Strictly D/s where you are just a service slave who will do the most menial tasks that are asked of you? Are you looking for online training? A live-in position? A romantic relationship centered around D/s and Mistress/slave? 24/7 or just ocassional play?

2.) What is your experience? Have you ever served a domme before? What was your role in that "relationship"? How long were you in her service?

3.) Do you have any references I may contact? Are there any dommes that can vouch for your character and seriousness?

Usually, those three questions are enough to weed out the serious ones from the game players...especially the references. I hope this helps.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to MistressAthenaX)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Interviewing new subs - 6/15/2008 11:53:29 AM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressAthenaX

This is a very open ended question...

Welcome to the boards. :)

This is an open-ended answer, but my questions depend on the submissive's message, if I'm interested enough to have a question. lol Personally, I don't have a checklist.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to MistressAthenaX)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Interviewing new subs - 6/15/2008 11:54:46 AM

malloves69

Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

hello mistress ..i think one very important question would be what ones interest are and what they seek from a mistress /dom ...if you have alot in common then the sessions should take place to see if theres any chemistry between you 2

if there is then start to develop and nourish the relationship ..if not say your good byes and move on ...like me i love strapon play ..and being fisted but if the lady has no interest in that chances are we wont get along very well ..love a lady in control but if im paying i should get to a certain degree what i ask

i am open minded and not afraid to try new things ..past 2 years i have done plenty of that

hope this helps ..mal

(in reply to MistressAthenaX)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Interviewing new subs - 6/15/2008 1:04:28 PM

chickpea

Posts: 446
Joined: 8/3/2005
From: Los Angeles Area
Status: offline

question: what do you want to gain from service with me?

_____________________________

Congrats to both In the end it was win-win. Now let's get to work http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/nov/05/john-mccain-concedes-election http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/11/17/transition.wrap/index.html

(in reply to malloves69)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Interviewing new subs - 6/15/2008 1:12:08 PM

AtlantaMistress

Posts: 276
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

My suggestion is to put in your profile that if a sub is contacting he needs to answer certain questions or provide information that you would want to know (like some of the examples given by rubberpet). This does 2 things - gives that info right up front, and weans out the cut and paste game players/time wasters who never even read your profile. If a sub isn't willing to take the time to read your profile, yet contacts you about serving you...big fed flag!

_____________________________

Mistress Sandy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd rather be hated for something I am than loved for something I am not.

(in reply to chickpea)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Interviewing new subs - 6/15/2008 1:13:39 PM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

I typically check their profiles. The less that is there, the more questions I ask. I tend to trust those with absolutely nothing in their profile less.

I ask whether they are looking for online or real time service, whether they have looked at my profile and understand that I am a switch, the extent to which they have "played" before. If there is an incongruous age, like 99, I ask their real age. (My daughter knows of my lifestyle and she and I have a joking deal; that I will not take in a sub younger than her.) If they show signs of being in a committed vanilla relationship I ask about that. If there is no clue in what they've written I may ask why they chose to write to me. If things are looking good I will ask them if they have a special unfulfilled fantasy and have them give me details on that.

In a first meeting in a public place I will ask about things like what safe word(s) they like to use, whether they have ever been in a session that went bad (and if so, how it went bad), whether they feel comfortable with me, and other similar questions. If I am comfortable and choose to have a session with them I will have the toys I expect to use laid out and ask if they feel comfortable with those, whether they have had similar ones used on them, review the safe word(s) again, and ask again if they feel comfortable with me. It is my own personal rule that new subs do not touch me unless commanded to, and I will ask to make sure that they completely understand that.

Hope that helps. : ) Everyone will have their own questions. So far these have worked for me.

_____________________________

(in reply to chickpea)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Interviewing new subs - 6/15/2008 2:58:07 PM

Puppy4goodHome

Posts: 1448
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: Beachwood Ohio and a few others
Status: offline

i think one would be to ask any ?s you can to get to know one better

_____________________________

Pup on the loose better watch out

ross.g
Puppster
puppy

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Interviewing new subs - 6/15/2008 6:17:01 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

I ask them what was it about my profile that prompted them to write to me specifically.
This usually weeds out a few right from the get go as you'll find a lot that just send the same "form letter" to each and every dominant female that they find on line.

If they can't answer that with something that coincides with my profile, I don't continue the conversation.

Welcome aboard.

Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to MistressAthenaX)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Interviewing new subs - 6/15/2008 7:20:13 PM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

I was going to suggest that you ask them what vanilla interests they had which coincided with yours that they especially enjoyed (one can't exactly do BDSM all the time). Then I looked at your profile and saw you didn't give them much of anything to work with.

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to MistressAthenaX)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Interviewing new subs - 6/15/2008 8:41:57 PM

Puppy4goodHome

Posts: 1448
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: Beachwood Ohio and a few others
Status: offline

that is somthing i would ask if i where Dom I actualy find myself as a submissive asking that somtimes went i get a email from a Domme at first and i for some reason dont think they have read my profile

quote:

ORIGINAL: PsyVamp

I ask them what was it about my profile that prompted them to write to me specifically.
This usually weeds out a few right from the get go as you'll find a lot that just send the same "form letter" to each and every dominant female that they find on line.

If they can't answer that with something that coincides with my profile, I don't continue the conversation.

Welcome aboard.

Lady Jag

_____________________________

Pup on the loose better watch out

ross.g
Puppster
puppy

(in reply to PsyVamp)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Interviewing new subs - 6/15/2008 10:22:36 PM

jonathan

Posts: 196
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressAthenaX

So this is my first post on the message boards...

This is a very open ended question, intended to spark some interesting conversation! What questions do you ask a new sub who approaches you online?

It's more like, what does he/she have to say to You? Do they approach You by answering what You have specified in Your profile? And Interests? Do You check their profiles and update times to see if they are real or just pandering to You to match what You say? If their profile update times match their responses to You, nah, i don't think so. Ignore.

_____________________________

jonathan
http://www.slaveregister.com/000-515-587

"But in purple, i am stunning!"
"Before You slip into unconsciousness, i'd like to have another kiss, another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss"

(in reply to MistressAthenaX)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: Interviewing new subs - 6/15/2008 10:37:19 PM

Midnght

Posts: 98
Joined: 4/24/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

No one approaches me so I don't ask questions. }:>)
But jeez what woudl I ask is hard to say a lot comes up in chat generally never quite think of what is actually asked.

(in reply to MistressAthenaX)

Profile

Post #: 14