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RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 10:56:59 AM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline 		I must be doing something wrong (right?) I get very little CMail and that little I get is rarely from trolls, I have a short, direct profile and anyone willing to mail on the other side just to chat always gets a response (although I always underline that my Master and I are not poly and therefore chatting is all I am willing to participate in, just in case people are going for the nice first mail before a second mail that makes me cringe!)

I get maybe 2 or 3 of the troll mails a week at the absolute most, and they either don't get replied to or I send the standard "involved" response.  I've only had to block 2 people since starting to use this site a year ago.  Maybe I'm lucky or maybe no-one in the world would be interested in me hahahahahaha!

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 10:58:19 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Yes I know not everyone is going to like me. So be it!


If you could take your own advice you'd never have started this thread.


_____________________________

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- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 11:02:59 AM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Yes I know not everyone is going to like me. So be it!


If you could take your own advice you'd never have started this thread.


(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 11:05:24 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterntn
Why do we get so upset when some random stranger that we don't even know insults us.  Instead why don't we laugh and move on to the next one? 

About the same reason why we spend 2 pages asking why someone gets upset that some random stranger we dont know doesnt reply to an email we sent them Id guess.

Personally, I dont like negativity, I find it petty and I avoid it. Online, in real life, I just avoid it where I can. I am not jaded, I am not cynical. I have met some fantastic people on here, and on other sites. I have also met enough idiots that I can usually tell from a first email if a response is going to get me what I want. You strike me as the type tgat would argue with a sub if they said they werent interested. Just with the way you are dogging this subject, Id think you would be just as adamant about getting the answer you wanted and if a sub said no, youd want to know why. Thats the sort of thing we want to avoid, having to explain ourselves to strangers, as well.

DV


_____________________________

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VampiresLair

(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 11:33:57 AM   
Masterntn


Posts: 14
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		I started this thread with a very controverisial topic simply to generate the response that I have received.  It is always amusing to see how some really put some thought into their response, then others go straight for the assuming position, and attacking.  My whole purpose was to get people talking here. Simple as that.  For those that think I am whinning and complaining about my own personal lack of responses, well I can only say thou doth assume too much!   And of course we all know what happens when you assume.  For everyone else, I state this.  I know its a rough world out there.  I also know you are entitled to your own opinions and views on things.  I also know that everyone is different and each of us have our own kinks, quirks, likes and dislikes.  That IS INDEED what makes this such a great lifestyle.  There are no rules that is correct.  Each person decides for themselves what they need and how they want to go about it.   My advise to everyone though is just lighten up!  This lifestyle is designed to be fun.  If you are getting that stressed out about something that is posted on a generic forum board, how is the world going to accept you when you do attempt to have any type of real time contact in the lifestyle?  My advice to everyone is bend over, drop your pants and tell the world to kiss our ass.   When we stop focusing on what others think about us and simply concern ourselves with how we are acting we will indeed see a noticeable improvement on not only our way of life, but how others actually do perceive us and interact with us. 

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 11:39:03 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Well this 'controversial' topic has been done to death, and its not 'assuming' anything the op and in fact your other contributions come off as preachy and at the same time like a moan which actually contradicts itself, and the only reason to start the topic with such post would be because actually it pisses you off "why are people not polite" and yet you go on to say that we should "lighten up" and "stop focusing on what others think" and if you re-read what you have written possibly you will see yourself how patronising you come off and how it seems that you dont take your own advice, or maybe not.

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(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 11:41:56 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

I started this thread with a very controverisial topic simply to generate the response that I have received. 


No one is buying that.  Can't you backpedal better than that?


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 11:45:06 AM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterntn
The lifestyle was originally built on a basis of being a community.  A family!  


Do you have any verifiable references for that statement?

(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 11:59:16 AM   
jenf


Posts: 45
Joined: 12/26/2007
Status: offline 		The stupidest message i ever recieved was from a dom 70 miles away who asked, "so how is it up there in (my town) ?  Whatever was the purpose of that? Did he really care about the weather up in my neck of the woods? Did he want me to reply in like, "Fine, thanks" and have a whole back and forth spanning several days of what amounts to mindless small talk? My profile stated what i was looking for, was he interested? I'll never know, he was too stupid to merit my attention.

(in reply to Viridana)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 12:13:47 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterntn

I started this thread with a very controverisial topic simply to generate the response that I have received. 


Actually, this topic isn't very controversial. It's not provocative and no one really cares about it. Many folks take the live and let live attitude with it, some just roll their eyes and others ignore it all together. If you want generate some heat, start a slave vs sub thread, a no limits thread, a fat ____ (fill in the blank thread) or any thing that has to do with the almighty $ thread. Then you'll get some passion and a rise out of people. From what you've written, it appears as though you just want to manipulate which comes across very much like a submissive topping from the bottom.

quote:

 It is always amusing to see how some really put some thought into their response, then others go straight for the assuming position, and attacking. 


That sort of thing doesn't amuse me. I find it to be a childish and bullying response to playing with puppets. You may want to consider exploring some more adult sorts of entertainment and leave this sort of thing to the kiddies.

quote:

 My whole purpose was to get people talking here. Simple as that.  For those that think I am whinning and complaining about my own personal lack of responses, well I can only say thou doth assume too much! 


You wrote the OP and sprinkled it with personal observations. You were given the benefit of the doubt that you actually meant what you wrote. Now you sit back and laugh. In your world you may call that Master .. in my world we call that liar .. or, perhaps asshole albeit the two terms are not mutually exclusive.

quote:

 If you are getting that stressed out about something that is posted on a generic forum board, how is the world going to accept you when you do attempt to have any type of real time contact in the lifestyle? 


So, you are assume that the people who post on this forum don't have real time contact in BDSM? Pot, kettle, black. And, can you point out the posts in which someone appears to be 'stressed out' because besides your own, I couldn't find any. People have to care about you or what you say to get stressed about it.

quote:

 My advice to everyone is bend over, drop your pants and tell the world to kiss our ass. 


How very adult of you. Let's do everything in our power to make the gap even wider between 'us' and 'them'.

quote:

 When we stop focusing on what others think about us and simply concern ourselves with how we are acting we will indeed see a noticeable improvement on not only our way of life, but how others actually do perceive us and interact with us. 


So, how do you believe that the behavior you've exhibited here today is going to improve 'our way of life'.  I'd be very interested in hearing that reply. I won't hold my breath though.

_____________________________

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 12:55:27 PM   
Masterntn


Posts: 14
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		So as the personal attacks continue, (which are quite amusing still regardless of what some of you have said or assumed) 

Regardless of that, if this wasn't such a hot topic to discuss then why is everyone's panties now in a wad.  No let me retract that, as it appears just a small handfull seem to have issues as they are repeatedly posting personal attacks now.  Yes that is much better.  For the rest of you that has taken this as it was intended I salute you.  The point in this was simply to discuss (which last I had checked is what the purpose of a FORUM is about) a topic that is INDEED controversial otherwise there would not be such an effort from those of you that seem to have only one purpose and that is to assume things and attack someone from the comfort and safety of you computer where one can hide from the realities of this world.  (yes that will hit another accord I am sure!) 

So the next question is based on the above responses.  If this is so offensive to you and if you all seem to be so sure that you know my intentions, motives and personality, why are so many people signed up on this site with profiles that specifically address exactly what I have asked here?  

Regardless of what your opinion is of me and what you have thought about this thread is irrelevant at this point.   It has served it's purpose by staring discussion and by starting some controversy which is indeed what the intention was to begin with.  I would be very interested in seeing how many Doms/Dommes out there would agree that if you are focused on the mental aspects of this lifestyle, is it not then our jobs to provoke stimulating thinking, questions and self examination?  There is no right or wrong here and each person is entitled to live their lives their own way.  That is not in debate.  I set out to prove a point and by the personal attacks I feel I have proven that point.  I stand by my opinion just as you are entitled to your own as well.   I think you all need to lighten up.  It's a freakin forum post for goodness sake! 

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 1:33:16 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline 		Let me ask YOU a question.  Do you respond to every piece of spam you receive?  Do you send messages like "Do I don't want a bigger cock" or "I don't need Viagra"?

If they aren't interested, they aren't interested; accept it.

Of course, they might have glanced at your profile and sensed the underlying anger.



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(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 1:34:42 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		I don't respond to messages because I get off on seeing 42 new threads like this a week.

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(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 1:39:12 PM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		I'm just amazed at how many people disappear on me and then reappear weeks sometimes months later expecting to pick up our correspondence with no explanation as to what happened. If they disappear I assume they are not interested. Of course people do have problems that take time to sort out and I will always give someone a second chance if they explain what happened.
Maybe the reality of D/s and BDSM is a lot more than most people can handle and perhaps the differences in people makes it almost impossible to create good lasting relationships.
Lets face it lots of people are just damned ignorant.
Now I'm sure we all feel better for expressing our opinions on this topic.

(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 1:53:17 PM   
Masterntn


Posts: 14
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lateralist1

I'm just amazed at how many people disappear on me and then reappear weeks sometimes months later expecting to pick up our correspondence with no explanation as to what happened. If they disappear I assume they are not interested. Of course people do have problems that take time to sort out and I will always give someone a second chance if they explain what happened.
Maybe the reality of D/s and BDSM is a lot more than most people can handle and perhaps the differences in people makes it almost impossible to create good lasting relationships.
Lets face it lots of people are just damned ignorant.
Now I'm sure we all feel better for expressing our opinions on this topic.



You bring up a great point!  And thank you for an intelligent insight less the assumptions that I have hidden anger issues.  

(in reply to lateralist1)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 1:54:34 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
I am starting to believe that the men who start these "why don't people at least reply with a thanks-but-no-thanks email, wahhhh" threads must have no life, and have no idea what it is like to be busy - with a career, with a family, with friends, with a social life and with hobbies.  If I tried to answer every loser and asshole that contacted me, only to open up the lines of communication so they could dump more crap in my inbox here, I would have no time to do anything but sit in front of my computer.  People with lives must prioritize, and therefore, they can't spend 2 hours a day on collarme sorting through dozens of emails because this is a free site and it attracts every time waster and loser on the Internet.

Akasha


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(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 2:04:57 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterntn
is it not then our jobs to provoke stimulating thinking, questions and self examination? 

not when it starts off as a whine, bitch, moan and complaint about how your messages are deleted unread and then back track when you don't like the responses posted.

challenge us with something so thought provoking and stimulating instead of serving the usual whine of the month.


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(in reply to Masterntn)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Responding to messages - 6/13/2008 2:16:58 PM   
ModeratorEleven


Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
Status: offline 		We really don't need another thread on this.

XI


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This mod goes to eleven.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 38
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