RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (Full Version)

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SweetNika -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 4:26:58 PM)

I would suggest getting new instant messenger addesses and only give them to those I knew. I would also make it very clear to those people that IF they passed that information out to anyone without my explicit permission they would be block and deleted. I would also contact the server that the harassment is taking place on. I know that most do not take likely to such things, infact I have known MSN to shut down accounts because they were used to harrass others. I do not ever give out my personal contact information unless I am comfortable with them having that access to me, but the reality is even phone numbers are not that hard to change in cases of harassment.
 
Blessed be,
Nika



CalifChick -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 4:27:13 PM)

Thanks fluff for saying that, I got sidetracked.

Cali



DrkJourney -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 4:28:48 PM)

oook...you confession post was not there when I did the original reply.....goodness...lol

I still say no other way, but to change all address' that are being emailed...what else can you do?

And I've had people ask me for address' for simular reasons, and also one that wanted me to forward and email to another Domme that had blocked him, but he said he wasn't sure why his message was getting through.  I simply declined.  If they don't have that info, there must be a reason, and it's for that person to give.  I simply pass on the request....maybe...



MissMagnolia -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 4:29:07 PM)

However, along the way a few so called Doms and Domme's from CM contact her Dominant under the guise of simply wanting to know how she is doing but under false pretences are really wanting to try to wrench her away from her Dominant for themselves.
 
WTF? "wrench" her away from her dominant? Is her arse hung with diamonds or something?

I find it pretty hard to believe that any sub is that amazing that all these dominants are spending all this time and energy trying to steal her. The whole story sounds like rhubarb to me.[8|]



SadistCpl4fslv -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 4:32:31 PM)

Protagonistlily all I can do is shrug at your post and thank you for taking the time.  If you think I have created this drama let me clue you into the real drama.  At the moment I am on cam and voice with her listening to her cry and trying to console her and help her to be as comfortable as possible because she has UTI and bronchitis and a temp of 103, complications due to a kidney transplant.  THAT is the drama that I am involved in and this other is just complicating it all.  I do not go to chatrooms anymore and my girl does not go to them and has not had a profile her for over a year.  I asked for constructive advice and have gotten real help thus far and whatever the sarcasm or suspiscion that lerks in your mind it really doesn't make any difference to me.



Aileen1968 -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 4:35:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SadistCpl4fslv

Protagonistlily all I can do is shrug at your post and thank you for taking the time.  If you think I have created this drama let me clue you into the real drama.  At the moment I am on cam and voice with her listening to her cry and trying to console her and help her to be as comfortable as possible because she has UTI and bronchitis and a temp of 103, complications due to a kidney transplant.  THAT is the drama that I am involved in and this other is just complicating it all.  I do not go to chatrooms anymore and my girl does not go to them and has not had a profile her for over a year.  I asked for constructive advice and have gotten real help thus far and whatever the sarcasm or suspiscion that lerks in your mind it really doesn't make any difference to me.


Then turn off the computer.  It's reaqlly not that hard.  You can do it.



SadistCpl4fslv -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 4:36:53 PM)

Once again thanks to all of you that have given helpful advice.  To those who think it is all just "rhubarb" ah well.......It doesn't change the truth and I wish you well all the same.  Thanks again for the advice.



SageFemmexx -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 4:37:11 PM)

This kind of drama is very common in AOL Gor chatrooms. Help Help, save me oh master from those mean stalkers! The truth is, she's thriving on the drama of keeping him hopping and protecting her. Maybe he's enjoying it too?

The reality is--just say NO. Change, block, delete. Refuse to play the game. As my counselor once said--stop batting the ball back over the net...and they go find someone else to play with.

My aol buddylist went from hundreds to just a few. It is set on autoblock everyone. Blessed silence, no drama when I sign on. No one is allowed to message me if they show disrespect, intolerance or lack of patience for my life takes priority policy.

Stop jumping through hoops. Tell her to go drama free--it's an addiction but she can kick it and so can you.

be well,
Sage.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 4:43:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SadistCpl4fslv

Yes I have talked to her about changing her accounts but that would mean her having to make all those she wishes to keep contact with aware of the change and causing them to wonder why the change.  And to be honest I don't think she is really emotionally up to that as well. 


At some point, she is going to have to conclude that dealing with the crap is worse than dealing with letting her friends and family know that she's changing her stuff because of an internet stalker. When she reaches that point, then you can help. Until then, there's little you can do but let her wallow in the drama she's not yet ready to release.

Master Fire



BitaTruble -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 5:03:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SadistCpl4fslv

As far as the "drama" of a conspiracy is concearned, I never said co-workers were involved.  I did use the term associates meaning other people of their aquantience that I suspect from their emails are involved in the lifestyle and perhaps have profiles on CM as well.  


You're right, you didn't use the term co-worker. I apologize and rephrase to say 'employee partners' (the words you did use) in whatever way that is different from a co-worker.

quote:

 If you don't think "conspiracies" such as what I am describing can possibly happen all one has to do is spend a day in BDSM chatrooms on servers such as bondage and see that this happens all the time at least in a cyber way.


Key word there .. cyber.



Prinsexx -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 5:12:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SadistCpl4fslv

Thanks for your advice thus far..........

Yes I have talked to her about changing her accounts but that would mean her having to make all those she wishes to keep contact with aware of the change and causing them to wonder why the change. 


Really? Ad she's been through such terrible life events (like I would not believe) yet she's not strong enough to create a new address book? C'mon ...............



daddysliloneds -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 5:23:12 PM)

i can't imagine anyone soooooooooooo fucking hot that everyone and their mother is tracking her down to harass her or get her to leave her dominant, even moreso since she supposidly has no online account except for e-mail to family and friends!!!!!

and with that said:

a person as emotionally and physically ill as this person is supposed to be, has no business cruising around on the computer when they should be taking care of themselves first and foremost, and generally speaking, that means if she gets all emotionally bent out of shape from reading an e-mail from a stranger, then she needs to turn off the computer!

phone contact is cheap, less time consuming, and more convenient all the way around when it comes to staying in touch with loved ones; so why was it that won't work for her again?

and by the way, i had a uti, a high fever, bronchitis and the back and front door vomits all at the same time before, and regardless of whether or not it was a secondary infection from a kidney transplant or stuff that happens to everyday people like me, the last thing i thought about doing was crying over a web-cam or being online...

is this chick hitting you up for cash yet?



SadistCpl4fslv -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 5:57:56 PM)

Ok so this will be my last reply and then if any of you wish to continue the discussion that will be up to you.  First and foremost I thank each of you with positive advice and a few who have given private support as well.  To those of you that are suspicious of the situation, of me, of my motives or just felt a need to go on a sarcastic bent, let me just say I understand it and don't hold it against you.  If I were in your shoes and didn't know the whole story I would be the same way.  Even if I did post every little detail, which Im not going to do, I am sure a fair amount of you would still be suspiscious and that is understandable as well.  There are so many people online these days pretending to be many things they are not and I know that it is very logical for practical reasons to be suspicious.  In retrospect I should have thought more of that kind of reaction and kept the thread off.  However, let me remind you that I did not ask for sympathy, money, a pat on the back, or attention.  Only advice, and if in some way or another that is conscrued as a way of getting attention and creating drama for personal motives then I came to the wrong place with this situation.  I have been on CM for three years and to the best of my recollections I have only started one other thread and that was many moons ago.  I might also remind some of you out there that think this is all just a put on that much stranger things can and do happen in life every day.  "There are more things in earth and heaven, horatio, then are dreamt of in your philosophy"  Thanks again for the advice.




OsideGirl -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 6:06:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

However, along the way a few so called Doms and Domme's from CM contact her Dominant under the guise of simply wanting to know how she is doing but under false pretences are really wanting to try to wrench her away from her Dominant for themselves.
 
WTF? "wrench" her away from her dominant? Is her arse hung with diamonds or something?

I find it pretty hard to believe that any sub is that amazing that all these dominants are spending all this time and energy trying to steal her.
I was thinking the same thing.

You want advice on a "no right answer" situation. "It's too emotionally draining to deal with these people contacting her." It's too emotionally draining to change the contact information so they can't contact her." Bottom line: either deal with it by cutting off the avenues of contact or deal with contact.

And yes, waffling and bitching about e-harrassment when you absolutely have the power to stop it, is pretty much the definition of drama.




pinksugarsub -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 7:49:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SadistCpl4fslv

Thanks for your advice thus far..........

Yes I have talked to her about changing her accounts but that would mean her having to make all those she wishes to keep contact with aware of the change and causing them to wonder why the change.  And to be honest I don't think she is really emotionally up to that as well.  The point I guess I keep coming back to is why should she even have to resort to something like that in the first place.  However, if that is the only solution then the advice is well worthy of more consideration and possible action.

On the point of turning off the computer this would be totally unexceptable unfortunately because except for telephone that is the only means of communication she has with myself and other members of her family and its just too risky.  Once again for matters of privacy I won't go into why this is just trust me that it is.



Okay, so she can't change her user names and she can't go offline completely....i'll accept that premise.
 
Her choices are not as good now but here are some things to consider:
 
Change ISPs.
 
Change passwords -- and choose new ones that are very difficult to guess, such as 'u1aa34sb'.
 
Use a proxy when online. 
 
http://en.onsoftware.com/software-to-surf-by-proxy/
 
Install a good firewall.  Look at cnet.com for comments on various products.
 
Install a good anti-virus progra, and follow the instructions to the letter. 
 
Check for keyloggers and remove any found.  Prevent new ones from being installed.
 
http://www.lazybit.com/index.php/2007/03/01/free_keylogger_protection?blog=2
 
Enter a hacker chat room, explain the problem, and ask for additional advice.
 
http://irc.netsplit.de/chat/hacker.php
 
Contact a computer security firma nd pay them to install safequards on her pc.
 
http://www.secureworks.com/
 
None of the above is bullet-proof, but maybe one of these ideas will help.
 
Best wishes to her.
 
pinksugarsub
 
 



Leatherist -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 7:55:27 PM)

claim a hard drive crash, and loss of passwords and id's.

In other words,it melted down,and she can"t remember all of the old ones and just wants to start over. It assuages any suspicions with the friends,and totally cuts off the assholes.



katie978 -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 8:00:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SadistCpl4fslv

However, let me remind you that I did not ask for sympathy, money, a pat on the back, or attention.  Only advice, and if in some way or another that is conscrued as a way of getting attention and creating drama for personal motives then I came to the wrong place with this situation. 



  By adding in the considerable amount of information about your sub's disease and how magically close you are now, and how much in luv you are, I put forward that you were asking for sympathy. Your sub's medical condition is in no way related to the online stalking.

   You asked for advice, and you recieved it. Change her internet contact information. Does she really have that much emotional investment in being "Maso1/2ofCpl4mdom"? If she's as upset as you say she is about this problem, then changing her contact information seems a blatently obvious choice...it's not as though she has to move or even change her phone number. You threatened legal action, yet you have some mental block against her changing one number or letter in her screen name?
 
   I also suggest that you tell your sub not to provide her contact info to douchebags online in the future if she's so emotionally vulnerable.



KatyLied -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 8:03:11 PM)

quote:

Even simply ignoring them is not working.


Huh?



Leatherist -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 8:05:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Even simply ignoring them is not working.


Huh?



Wierd. I usually manage to get rid of people like this by suggesting "If you don't quit, I will make it my life mission to track you down, tear off your head *slowly*, and shit down your neck."
 
 Works every time!!!!!![:D]



Missokyst -> RE: Need help on an issue of Harrasment (6/9/2008 8:06:01 PM)

I have to admit I am confused by this.  I open, or not open at will, anything that comes in to my mail box.  I have a choice to dump it or read it.  If I do open email I have a choice to believe it or pass on it.  As a reasonable adult, I make those choices daily.
If she is having issues with health, emotions, ect, why not wait for those issues to lessen before engaging in a bdsm relationship?  If she is having issues where her judgement is impaired, why seek out a site she knows is going to give people access to her?  If she cannot control herself at this time, wouldn't it make sense to back out of things she can't handle?
Each of us who enter here get bombarded with wannabee posers trying to latch onto the unwary.
When you join you have the right to block email or simply do not look for the month or two it takes people to give it up.
Until she can handle these things, chat rooms and sites like these are probably not a place to hang out.
You can read forums without having an account, if she needs to do that.
Kyst



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