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so many questions... - 6/8/2008 2:36:18 AM   
OzSub66


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Thank you for taking the time to read this.  I have so many questions - about so many things... is this the place to ask them? or is there somewhere else I should go?
I want to know why people write I/i and U/us and T/they...
I want to know what topping means?
I want to know what Gorean means?
I want to know how I can safely meet someone who can induct me...
there are so many other questions...
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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 2:52:58 AM   
Focus50


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Hi and welcome.... :-)
 
For so many fairly basic questions, I'd suggest the best advice is to "lurk" on these Boards and spend time reading.  But yes, this is also the right place to ask and since you're here....
 
Most of the annoying (to me) capitalisation is a means of setting appropriate headspace for role respect when online is the only available media for communication.  I think it's fine for personal contact (if it rocks your boat) but is borderline rude when they bring it onto a public discussion Board.
 
"Topping" is basically the one carrying out physical acts such as binding another (the bottom) or using floggers or other assorted goodies on them.  The 'Top' is the doer and the 'bottom' is the doee....  Domination (and submission) on the other hand is often at a greater relationship level than just the physical kink of topping/bottoming; such as obeying or enforcing rules and protocols etc.
 
Gorean just is... lol  There's a separate Forum to explore if that's your thing.
 
Meeting is an individual thing.  I'd recommend a first meet be somewhere semi public such as a coffee shop in a shopping mall.  You get relative privacy to talk with the comfort of help just a yelp away....  lol
 
Focus.


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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 2:56:43 AM   
OzSub66


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Thank you for taking the time to reply to me.  I know that my queries are basic, but I also believe that to fully embrace anything in this life, we need to know it inside out and upside down - and to know it all from the beginning.
I am finding that I feel like I am coming home, so to speak.  Reading some of the forums - it is like "finally! someone who feels like I do... sounds like I do... understands me..."


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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 3:28:01 AM   
MzMinx


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******  this post is my opinion *****   and I am not claiming to be an expert in anything  certainly not Gor or even the words used to describe roles *laughs*  I am just giveing some general  ideas, and I am sure ozsub would be delighted to hear more from others

so  here goes

the easist question to answer is the I/i... its net speak for saying you are addressing both dominants and submissives ....  not every one uses it .. and many have very hard core beliefs  as to whether its good or bad ...

some general terms .....  dominant, top, master, owner  daddy, mommy, sadist, mistress, domina, dominatrix  for the person directing, doing or with the authority ......  and submissive, slave, bottom, boy, girl, boi, baby, pet, toy even slut etc  for the one being directed, giveing over authority or being done to


there are no set agreements as to what  each really means .... but  topping is often used to describe the person who is in control and performing the acts within a  S/m scene ....  some people use it when they mean the authority/control ends  pretty much when the scene ends ... they make a difference  between a top for a scene... and a  dominant in a relationship .... some use it purely to differentiate between S/m play   (mostly physical)...  and  D/s play  .... its often used as a matched term to bottom... but it can also just mean a generic term for  all types of people on the 'top'  or the lead of the dynamic ...  and yes it does get confusing ...  as their is no dictonary nor agreed body to define the terms .... they are great to use as you discuss needs.. desires or concepts.. but then they need to be used in context and often with lots of other words to get the meaning across between people 


As to how to go about meeting people, I would sugest going slow and meeting people in real lfe in groups if you can .... do not spend to much time online before getting a taste of real meat life .. if real meat life is what you desire .... use all the same life skills you have always used in life .. learn some of the basic 'how to keep yourself safe' sugestions  for meeting peopel from online  if you are meeting one on one .... eg meet ina  public place like a coffee shop .. do not give out personl details unless you are comfortable etc... you can find lists of sugestions and handy hints all over the net and personals sites ....

And remember  a submissive is not lessor .. nor do they submit to any one with a  capital letter to there name.. you submit to who you chose and  when you chose ... just like you dont have sex  untill you chose and when you chose .... and as for being inducted .. where you inducted into your vanilla relationships? ...   We all learn ... we all should be seeking information about not only ourselves and our needs  but about how to get them fulfilled.... looking for bdsm,  D/s  or any kink interaction is the same as seeking out any other type of intimate play or relationship ... look for peopel who you respect, delight in, enjoy, who dont make you feel bad or self concious ... people who treat you as an adult etc ... ask questions ... learn about them and expend your knowldege ..  

Places to meet ... I am in melbourne and do not keep up with the public gatherings that much,  but this is a  calander of events for queensland ... I am not sure if its up to date ... but contacting any of the organisers of any of the events will get you more info  on there own events and possably others

http://www.aussieadultgroups.com/qldbdsm/month.php


there can also be a reasonably  lively chat on Alt dot com ... in the australian room ... you can chat without haveing to pay  but you do need to create a profile . I hate advertising it as collarme is a much better  site ... but australians can be thin  on the cyber ground so  you often need to go where they are

As to Gor .... it is a lifestyle based on a series of fiction books ... or  as some would say ... its a philisophy of life that was published under the guise of fiction, Many goreans say they are not BDSM that it is different, as its a philisophy concerning the 'natural order' of humans, and life may be cruel and harsh but enjoying sadism is not the aim/desire/need  of a gorean man. It  roughly states Men are more naturally dominant and woman more naturaly  submissive ... so the right way of things or natural order  is free men  on top who may or may not be joined by free woman  who is free sbut still lessor or under the care of the free man..  and then slaves ... who are  property/livestock  .... and that  many/all woman crave  or at least thrive  if they are made slaves to the right male

*smiles*  hope this helps a little

Mz Minx

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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 3:29:30 AM   
MzMinx


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short and to the point Focus

*grins*  and a much longer winded reply from me 

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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 3:55:38 AM   
Icarys


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Welcome..
Gor comes from fictional books written by John Norman..
I personally prefer Gor, what i believe to be, a stricter protocol driven no nonsense way of life.


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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 3:58:24 AM   
Icarys


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I meant to post that to the Op..my apologies...

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submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 4:25:21 AM   
SweetNika


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I want to know why people write I/i and U/us and T/they? This is how some people choose to show that they are speaking to both the dominant and submissive/slave.  I personally find it very hard to read.

I want to know what topping means? Is the person who takes control in a sexual play.

I want to know what Gorean means? General definition is anything having to do with the Gor science fiction novels written by John Norman.
 
There are also those that live a lifestyle based on the philosophies found within these books. There is a forum on CM specifically for those wishing to discuss the Gorean lifestyle.

I want to know how I can safely meet someone who can induct me? I would personally say trust your gutt. Get to know someone at your pace, if it doesn't feel right then don't do it. Be honest with yourself about what you expect, need and your experience. I personally meet in public the 1st time and perhaps even the 20th time. I don't play the 1st time I meet someone, after all I don't play with perfect strangers and I don't beleive I truly know someone until we are breathing the same air.
 
blessed be,
Nika

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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 8:35:28 AM   
ProtagonistLily


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I'm going to desperately try to be unbiased here :)

quote:

I want to know why people write I/i and U/us and T/they...
because they feel that it shows respect to Tops/Doms/Masters/Mistress/Dommes and signifies they recognize submissives both themselves as one and those that may or may not belong to Tops/Doms/Masters/Mistress/Dommes. I have seen this type of expression used in REAL LIFE only sparingly, either written or verbal. It doesn't really go over well in crowds that I've travelled in, but your milage may be differant in other parts of the world.


quote:

I want to know what topping means?
Then make an investment in your education and get The New Topping Book By Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. If I were you, I'd also get The New Bottoming Book. Both are excellent and can help you in your understanding of these terms in a micro and macro sense.

quote:

I want to know what Gorean means?
Hmm, then read the books by John Lange and try to understand that some people have adopted the style of these fictional books as a way of life.

quote:

I want to know how I can safely meet someone who can induct me...
I subscribe to a safety in numbers model. If you want to be safe, seek out the people who are involved in your local organization (note: local could mean a 100 mile radius depending on where you are). Generally they have munches, some have play parties, most engage in some kind of education aspect and you will find people you like and people you don't. But rarely will you find people who are going to hurt you in a non-consensual way. If you are a  woman, regardless of your persuation, I would seek out other women to help answer your questions and guide you along.

quote:

there are so many other questions...

If you are lucky you will always have questions. It's a sign that you are still growing.

PL


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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 8:56:12 AM   
MaamJay


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OP ... you have mail on the other side! WELCOME!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
Edited to explain that OP refers to the Original Poster ie to you Ozsub66!

< Message edited by MaamJay -- 6/8/2008 8:57:08 AM >


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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 9:02:36 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


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I want to know why people write I/i and U/us and T/they...
---they  think its k/E/w/L
I want to know what topping means?
---what ingredients you want on your pizza
I want to know what Gorean means?
---a type of pizza available in gorean restaurants
I want to know how I can safely meet someone who can induct me...
---there isnt any collarme hall of fame yet...but we'll let you know.



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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 9:03:52 AM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
For so many fairly basic questions, I'd suggest the best advice is to "lurk" on these Boards and spend time reading.  But yes, this is also the right place to ask and since you're here....


Ditto

I might also suggest that you learn to use the search function here on the forums.... it could prove useful for you.

having said that... don't be afraid to ask questions on the forums.... just be prepared that you are going to get a vast array of responses that might leave you more confused than you started.

In the end... most of the questions you ask will need to be answered from within yourself before the confusion will start to lift.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 10:54:36 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OzSub66
I am finding that I feel like I am coming home, so to speak.  Reading some of the forums - it is like "finally! someone who feels like I do... sounds like I do... understands me..."

I know that's how it feels, but trust me, you will find no more kinship here than you do anywhere else.  Your friends will need to be made the same way, relationships will go through the same processes.  There's plenty of surface pretend comraderie, not so much sincere.

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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 11:02:13 AM   
Griswold


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OzSub66

Thank you for taking the time to reply to me.  I know that my queries are basic, but I also believe that to fully embrace anything in this life, we need to know it inside out and upside down - and to know it all from the beginning.
I am finding that I feel like I am coming home, so to speak.  Reading some of the forums - it is like "finally! someone who feels like I do... sounds like I do... understands me..."




Hahahahahahahaha       ....welcome home sweety....stay as long as you like

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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 6:31:38 PM   
LadyLynx


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**giggles at fairy**  No comment on the questions, since have been basically answeared, but welcome to the collarme forums, Ozzsub. I hope you enjoy it here. *smiles*

A word of warning: there are alot of posters, that like to be funny, sarcastic, and even downright mean.  try not to take offense, and make friends, have a good time.

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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 6:47:08 PM   
Griswold


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLynx

**giggles at fairy**  No comment on the questions, since have been basically answeared, but welcome to the collarme forums, Ozzsub. I hope you enjoy it here. *smiles*

A word of warning: there are alot of posters, that like to be funny, sarcastic, and even downright mean.  try not to take offense, and make friends, have a good time.


And, if I may add....enjoy the process.

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RE: so many questions... - 6/8/2008 9:11:43 PM   
OzSub66


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thank you to everyone for their insightful (on the most part) answers.  I appreciate it. I look forward to talking with you more.

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RE: so many questions... - 6/9/2008 12:28:28 AM   
Prinsexx


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Try this link which I think is one of the best, because it is 'contributed knowledge' (like the Wiki).
http://www.londonfetishscene.com/wipi/index.php/Main_Page
These forums are an excellent sourse of discussion on and around issues.


< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 6/9/2008 12:29:18 AM >


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