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MzMinx -> RE: so many questions... (6/8/2008 3:28:01 AM)
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****** this post is my opinion ***** and I am not claiming to be an expert in anything certainly not Gor or even the words used to describe roles *laughs* I am just giveing some general ideas, and I am sure ozsub would be delighted to hear more from others
so here goes
the easist question to answer is the I/i... its net speak for saying you are addressing both dominants and submissives .... not every one uses it .. and many have very hard core beliefs as to whether its good or bad ...
some general terms ..... dominant, top, master, owner daddy, mommy, sadist, mistress, domina, dominatrix for the person directing, doing or with the authority ...... and submissive, slave, bottom, boy, girl, boi, baby, pet, toy even slut etc for the one being directed, giveing over authority or being done to
there are no set agreements as to what each really means .... but topping is often used to describe the person who is in control and performing the acts within a S/m scene .... some people use it when they mean the authority/control ends pretty much when the scene ends ... they make a difference between a top for a scene... and a dominant in a relationship .... some use it purely to differentiate between S/m play (mostly physical)... and D/s play .... its often used as a matched term to bottom... but it can also just mean a generic term for all types of people on the 'top' or the lead of the dynamic ... and yes it does get confusing ... as their is no dictonary nor agreed body to define the terms .... they are great to use as you discuss needs.. desires or concepts.. but then they need to be used in context and often with lots of other words to get the meaning across between people
As to how to go about meeting people, I would sugest going slow and meeting people in real lfe in groups if you can .... do not spend to much time online before getting a taste of real meat life .. if real meat life is what you desire .... use all the same life skills you have always used in life .. learn some of the basic 'how to keep yourself safe' sugestions for meeting peopel from online if you are meeting one on one .... eg meet ina public place like a coffee shop .. do not give out personl details unless you are comfortable etc... you can find lists of sugestions and handy hints all over the net and personals sites ....
And remember a submissive is not lessor .. nor do they submit to any one with a capital letter to there name.. you submit to who you chose and when you chose ... just like you dont have sex untill you chose and when you chose .... and as for being inducted .. where you inducted into your vanilla relationships? ... We all learn ... we all should be seeking information about not only ourselves and our needs but about how to get them fulfilled.... looking for bdsm, D/s or any kink interaction is the same as seeking out any other type of intimate play or relationship ... look for peopel who you respect, delight in, enjoy, who dont make you feel bad or self concious ... people who treat you as an adult etc ... ask questions ... learn about them and expend your knowldege ..
Places to meet ... I am in melbourne and do not keep up with the public gatherings that much, but this is a calander of events for queensland ... I am not sure if its up to date ... but contacting any of the organisers of any of the events will get you more info on there own events and possably others
http://www.aussieadultgroups.com/qldbdsm/month.php
there can also be a reasonably lively chat on Alt dot com ... in the australian room ... you can chat without haveing to pay but you do need to create a profile . I hate advertising it as collarme is a much better site ... but australians can be thin on the cyber ground so you often need to go where they are
As to Gor .... it is a lifestyle based on a series of fiction books ... or as some would say ... its a philisophy of life that was published under the guise of fiction, Many goreans say they are not BDSM that it is different, as its a philisophy concerning the 'natural order' of humans, and life may be cruel and harsh but enjoying sadism is not the aim/desire/need of a gorean man. It roughly states Men are more naturally dominant and woman more naturaly submissive ... so the right way of things or natural order is free men on top who may or may not be joined by free woman who is free sbut still lessor or under the care of the free man.. and then slaves ... who are property/livestock .... and that many/all woman crave or at least thrive if they are made slaves to the right male
*smiles* hope this helps a little
Mz Minx
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