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Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/6/2008 9:05:36 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Intimacy- 24 hours, <15 feet apart
http://www.slate.com/id/2192282/?GT1=38001

How would you do?

I know my partner and I have spent more than 24 hours together when we really aren't more than 15 feet apart, but the eating out of the same plate and reading the same pages would get to me. Granted, we often do coordinate our meals so that we each get to try something of the others and have no quarter on spearing bites from one another or feeding eachother. It's a game of ours to see who orders the better dish. But having to eat the same plate of food might be tough.

As for reading, we'll often read aloud to eachother something we find interesting or show the other person a headline or something, but I read so much faster than he does, it would agonizing to wait for him.

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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/6/2008 9:27:11 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		With the exception of trips to the bathroom, i'm sure we've done this on any number of days... hell, considering that we've gone on cruises a couple of times, we probably have. Of course, no offspring

Reading from the same book does sound like either a bad "reality" show, or the result of drug-enhanced religion, tho...

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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/6/2008 9:35:07 PM   
DomKen


Posts: 19457
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		I've certainly spent 24 hours no more than 15 feet from my partner. Long weekend days in a small studio when I first got out of the Navy come to mind. Although to be honest I've found a certain truth in the adage "seperation makes the heart grow fonder."

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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/6/2008 9:50:12 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		FR:   Wife and I discussed this. 

HER:  If we do this, I'm going to take up jogging again so that you will run about 30 feet, turn bright red and fall over.

HIM:  This makes it really hard to get a piece on the side, doesn't it?

E.

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"It's the same thing," he said.

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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/6/2008 9:58:40 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Fox and I are joined at the hip, have eatten out of the same plate, but we d maintain different books when we read together since we read at different speeds

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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/6/2008 11:33:02 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		If you read the original NYT article linked in the first paragraph  of LA's OP article, you will find that what the couple are trying to do is much more complex than it seems at first, superficial glance.

As the NYT piece reports, the couple has been together for 10 years and have each taken vows of celibacy. They do not "sleep" together. Their "practice" is a spiritual exercise, in that, as they are quoted as saying, one is forced, by their circumstances of choice, to confront themselves (their own minds) and each other when conflicts or differences of opinion arise. It would be naive to think that conflicts do not arise, after all, they are human beings.

quote:

It is, as they describe it, a high level of Buddhist practice that involves confronting their own imperfections and thereby learning to better serve the world. “It forces you to deal with your own emotions so you can’t say, ‘I’ll take a break,’ ” said Mr. Roach, 55


Here's a link to the NYT piece, again.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/15/garden/15buddhists.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&oref=slogin



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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/7/2008 12:53:59 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		This type of experience is not my idea of a good time.
I need my privacy and space, especially in the morning.

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/7/2008 3:19:19 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Oh that would drive me friggin nuts.  I'd shoot him within a day.  I really value my private time and space.  And I hate community food.  The reading thing...not even going to go there.  That article just decribed my version of a mini hell.

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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/7/2008 3:22:17 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		It would certainly be an interesting experiment to try for 24 - even maybe 48 hours - even an interesting concept to maybe incoprorate into a relationship on a regular basis say once a month or maybe even more.  But I do not find it practical nor healthy to do so continuously.  That is simply my personal view, but there are moments when seperation occurs.
 
the.dark.

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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/7/2008 4:33:26 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		I wonder how many people have tried this and found that actually there is quite a bit they don't like about their partner and it lead to irreconcilable differences. Like in that film classic ‘War of the Roses.’

(edit: bigup my font yeah yeah. For some reason it keeps coming out small I blame Office 2007)

< Message edited by FullCircle -- 6/7/2008 4:46:55 AM >

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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/7/2008 4:34:46 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		i would choke him.

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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/7/2008 5:25:41 AM   
Irishknight


Posts: 2016
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		Wife would choke me and I would welcome it by that point.  We both love our quiet time. 

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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/7/2008 5:33:31 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		we have a code phrase..."i'm going to the barn"....
It really means "you are annoying the hell out of me". Rarely do we end up in the barn anymore.


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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/7/2008 5:34:43 AM   
Irishknight


Posts: 2016
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Status: offline 		Gods, we need a barn.

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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/7/2008 5:36:17 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Irishknight

Gods, we need a barn.




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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/7/2008 5:56:12 AM   
Bethnai


Posts: 492
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline 		I can't fathom beyond no running water or AC in AZ AND having to stay within 15 feet of someone else.

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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/7/2008 6:13:07 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		There will be blood.

Though that might just work for some of you.

chia* (the pet)

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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/7/2008 6:37:32 AM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		I read that article when that came out. And while its interesting that two people tried to recreate that in a two story home, the end results would have been obvious even before they started. It is so not, the same thing at all.

I get what the yurt couple is doing. That doesnt mean I'd do it. Yet in so many ways tho, I feel I HAVE done it. I just ended up being embarrassed by all the closeness. It just seemed unhealthy over time. No. It didnt SEEM to be unhealthy. It WAS unhealthy. Too much of anything can be a bad thing for some of us.

Over the years I've come across quite a few couples in history, who have practiced extreme closeness. One that springs to mind is where William Blakes wife got up in the middle of the night, and sat there holding his hand while he wrote with the other one. I guess they werent in the Times because William had to first get a printing press. lol

To me, the NY Times couple has developed a career with what they do. Do anything long enough and people will start to take you seriously. What they do is in some ways easy and natural for them. Or they wouldnt be doing it. Even if they say they work at it. We all have to "work at" some things. This is just their thing. Hey, if they end up with a following and thats what they want, then hats off to them.



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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/7/2008 7:07:04 AM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		It reminds me of Gordon Liddy holding his hand over a candle to prove that he could do it. I've always seen Buddhism as a somewhat strange religious practice. I have to confess that this article didn't alter that perception in any measurable fashion.

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RE: Intimacy- No less than 15 feet apart for 24 hours - 6/7/2008 8:30:35 AM   
hizgeorgiapeach


Posts: 1672
Status: offline 		I've spent 24 hours no less than 15 feet from my partner in the past.  It drove me crazy and made me want to strangle someone.  Inevitably when I've been in relationshpis with someone who actually Wanted that sort of constant close contact - they weren't emotionally healthy enough to be in a relationship at all.  They were paranoid about me being out of their sight, because OMG I might do something they hadn't specifically approved of, or might talk to someone other than Them, or *gasp* might think for myself rather than being a mindless repeat of what they thought.
 
To this day, I can't stand being around other people to that extent for any long length of time.  Hell, even a week on a roadtrip with 2 other friends of mine, confined in the car together for long stretches, sharing hotel rooms every night, always eatting at the same resturant and same time, and attending various attractions together - made me want to scream by the time we got home and went our seperate ways.  It also made me vow Never to take a roadtrip with 1 of the 2 of them again, lest I wind up in jail for murder.

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