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The Vanilla Truth - 6/5/2008 10:46:43 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


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Vanilla is basically anything that is more plain and ordinary in nature, at least this seems to be the universal meaning of the word.

"Vanilla" is not a BDSM lifestyle exclusive word.  For instance there is something called "Vanilla Music".   This general means music that does not emotional touch or trigger a reaction in people.   You know comparable to Elevator music.. or background easy listening music.   It does not really catch your attention.  It's well rather plain.

Hell, basically think of Vanilla Ice cream.  It's plain white stuff.  Not any color to it, tastes all the same.  Not really all that interesting.  

Big difference between "Vanilla" ice cream and Ben & Jerry's chunky monkey.

I don't view myself as being a "Vanilla" person.  I'm a bit of an odd ball.  This has nothing whatsoever to do with BDSM.

The fact is this.  When we speak of Vanilla in the BDSM world, we are talking about relationships that don't have the extra Flavoring we enjoy.  

Most of us do have Vanilla sex from time to time.. We do everyday activities that well are just plain activities to do.

Some people do Rock Climbing, Get involved with Extreme Sports and stuff like that.  In many regards, they do things where there are not Living a Plain life.

Some people, simply are extremely vanilla.  They have no Hobbies or interests.  They really don't have much depth to them.  

People that are Artists, Musicians and such.  Well, they just ain't all that Vanilla really.   Not if they immerge themselves into what they are doing.

Anyways, my point is... the word vanilla being tossed around, just simply refers to something being more plain and ordinary in nature.   That's it.

It's not a BDSM exclusive phrase either.   Some people are just more vanilla compared to other people.  It's a sort of relative term.   It all depends upon how much flavoring you have in your own life, and in your own world.
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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/5/2008 10:51:28 PM   
abcbsex


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honestly I think the definition is created by the context. In this setting, vanilla is anyone who doesn't participate in bdsm. In rock-climbing circles, it can be used to describe the group of people who have never had the joy of scaling a rock wall.

in my tastebud's context, vanilla does well with some chocolate sauce.

edited because I have a mind in the gutter and I made myself giggle.

< Message edited by abcbsex -- 6/5/2008 10:54:59 PM >


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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/5/2008 11:41:50 PM   
peppermint


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quote:

Anyways, my point is... the word vanilla being tossed around, just simply refers to something being more plain and ordinary in nature.  


I don't consider vanilla as being plain...in any context including BDSM.  It's just different.  Heck, vanilla is by far the most popular ice cream so it can't be all that bad.  In fact, vanilla ice cream goes with everything, and that isn't true for chunky monkey.  Can you imagine chunky monkey on warm pumpkin or apple pie?  I am a submissive living 24/7 with her Dom.  Our sex life could be termed vanilla...but damn....it's good...in fact it's great and exciting.  Wish i'd known how good sex could be while i was in my 20s or 30s. 

Don't try to convince me that because people engage in BDSM..or any activity that is not terribly popular that those people are more "interesting", that they have "extra Flavoring", that artists can  not be "vanilla"....that we are fancier, less ordinary than those poor vanilla people who don't have any idea what excitement they are missing. 

Different or out of the ordinary does not equal better or interesting or anything of that nature.  It's just different...no more...no less.  What we do does not make us superior or more exciting in any way compared to anyone else.  Vanilla is not more plain...it's a wonderful flavor in its own right. 

On this message board we use vanilla as a term to describe someone who doesn't participate in BDSM activities.  Let's not complicate the term with all the other meanings you wish it to have.  Personally i find your definition of vanilla as not very well thought through. 

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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/5/2008 11:51:40 PM   
RCdc


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So we have done the 'define me!define!' thread and now we are back onto the old topic of vanilla?
All I can say is you must have had some pretty crap walmart vanilla if you think all vanilla tastes the same.
 
Vanilla music?  Show me the context please seeing as I have never heard of the term, googled it and still came up with jack.
 
Im just seeing this as the Atypical themandus thread.
 
the.dark.

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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 12:08:09 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


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Vanilla music... I've heard this on/off over the years.  Lately, it's been popping up on Music Business Radio.   In fact the VP pf Promotion from Warner Brothers Records was stressing to musicians to Avoid writting "Vanilla Music".   OK, yet again... the Buzzword Vanilla.  

http://www.musicbusinessradio.com/



< Message edited by Owner4SexSlave -- 6/6/2008 12:09:17 AM >

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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 12:14:05 AM   
Leatherist


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I sort of see it as the difference between this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-fev20voMc

And this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gU7sBgjKDCI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ96oEwYrE8&feature=related

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 6/6/2008 12:17:31 AM >


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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 12:38:10 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


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If one does a search for "Vanilla Music" the first 8 or so pages return stuff about Vanilla Music in terms of Publishing company and bands or songs with those name as names.   Higher Ranking Basically... When you get down to page 8 and so you
start finding links such as this

http://www.thenoiseboard.com/lofiversion/index.php?t163745-100.html

Where the term "Vanilla Music" is used.   It's just the matter of knowing and realizing thing like Products, Companies and Songs will take a little higher ranking..

Deep deeper into the Search Results...  Honest I'm not making shit up here folks.   Sorry, if you think I am.  I don't know what to else to tell you.

The Podcasts on Music Business Radio, the term pops up in as well...   I know you can't google recorded words yet.. but it's there.  I'd have to go back and relocate and listen to specicfic Pod casts and cough up the time markers for you!   But that's would take a lot more time here.... 



< Message edited by Owner4SexSlave -- 6/6/2008 12:49:26 AM >

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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 12:51:10 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


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Vanilla: Plain, boring, lacking excitement.
Example: A) How was your date last night?
B) Totally vanilla, I was home by 9:30.


Ref: http://www.slangsite.com/slang/V.html

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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 12:52:35 AM   
Leatherist


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I didn't get into an alternate lifestyle to explore new frontiers in comformity.
 
One very big reason I despise the "sheeple" culture in "bdsm" that attempts to appease vanillas.

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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 12:55:18 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


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Notice! that the example is one that Relates to MUSIC!

adjective 

2. plain or dull: lacking outstanding or interesting characteristics
a vanilla rendition of the concerto

ref: http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/features/dictionary/DictionaryResults.aspx?refid=1861733609


Think I'll rest my use case with Vanilla Music with the Example Encarta gives!


< Message edited by Owner4SexSlave -- 6/6/2008 12:57:11 AM >

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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 12:56:43 AM   
Leatherist


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fuck it, you are off in your won little world tonight.

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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 2:42:09 AM   
Prinsexx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: abcbsex

edited because I have a mind in the gutter and I made myself giggle.

*snort*  *snort*  as Greedy would say.


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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 2:44:47 AM   
Prinsexx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I didn't get into an alternate lifestyle to explore new frontiers in comformity.
 
One very big reason I despise the "sheeple" culture in "bdsm" that attempts to appease vanillas.

appeasing? is that a new kink i haven't heard of.....
then appease ME! any time any place I wanna be the first......


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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 2:48:39 AM   
RCdc


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Well, there ya go, I learnt something new!  So I do thank you for that.
 
I do find the whole 'vanilla all tastes the same' attitude totally misguided however.  That is akin to saying all 'BDSM tastes the same' which it isn't. (And just to pre-warn you, I am synaesthesic ).  As I said, I just see these kind of threads - which are about as repeatative as the sub Vs slave debate - very one true way and as an attempt to make something 'different'.  Everything is different, if it wasn't then snowflakes would all be the same.
 
the.dark.

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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 3:51:29 AM   
DesFIP


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You need to buy better vanilla ice cream. You need to find a source for Tahitian vanilla beans.

I bake and damn near everything I bake has a large shot of vanilla in it. Otherwise things have no oomph. Vanilla brings out the taste in other flavors the way salt does in soup.

And the fact that I don't rock climb, even though the Shawangunks are in my town, doesn't mean my life isn't full of extra flavor. The fact that I don't play music doesn't mean I can't appreciate it. And neither has anything to do with me being a boring person.

I know lots of rock climbers. Some are wonderful people with a zest for life. Others are obsessive and unable to talk about anything else. Boring, uninteresting types in a nutshell. Which kind are you?

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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 4:00:22 AM   
HalloweenWhite


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I know what vanilla means to Me. I hated with a passion that burns, vanilla ice cream....until I tried Ben and Jerry's.

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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 4:11:21 AM   
slavegirljoy


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As a big time football fan, i am surprised that you left out, "vanilla defense". 

“Vanilla defense” refers to an opponent who frequently calls either pass or run and doesn’t move anyone (for a 4-3 defense) or moves only one LB to the line of scrimmage (for a 3-4 defense).  An opponent who frequently double-teams, blitzes, or otherwise leaves pass zones open is not employing a vanilla defense.
http://www.strat-o-matic.com/sphere/berrooffense.htm
 
Example:

Perhaps Tomlin's "straight defense" speculation was an attempt to scare his defense straight.

"If guys don't know what gap to get in, you just have to put them in their gap and tell them to hold it," cornerback Deshea Townsend said. "We're just going to have to go straight ahead, no movement."

Townsend had a simple characterization for playing defense in such a rudimentary fashion.

"Vanilla."

The Steelers vanilla on defense?

If it comes to that, why bother?

Tomlin held out hope that it ultimately wouldn't.
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/s_545344.html

Oh, and while we're at it, "Dominate" isn't an exclusively BD/SM word.  In fact, i can't think of a single word that is exclusive to BD/SM unless, you count 'made-up' words like 'subfrenzy'.
 
joy
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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 4:18:37 AM   
pinksugarsub


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i did like the Op, but my reaction is, You were just telling U/us what floats Your boat, in and out of D/s, and what kinda leaves You cold.
 
All of U/us have these preferences.  i despise the qualities or interests that make S/someone a sports nuts, sci-fi fan, comic book movie buff, and so on.  It doesn't make A/anyone i like or dislike more or less 'vanilla' in a D/s sense. 
 
In fact i really don't get a lot of information from my family and friends about T/their intimate lives, and i like it that way.
 
pinksugarsub

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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 4:36:03 AM   
Prinsexx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
 
I do find the whole 'vanilla all tastes the same' attitude totally misguided however. 
the.dark.

I love straight sex and I love intimacy if that is what is meant by the term. I love the contrast between bdsm and what I suppose many in the so-called vanilla world would call making love. whilst it's possible for me to do most things kinky it's just amazing to be able to snuggle up and get some love-making done in the morning. It's beautiful. But of I had to divide my activities into categories then it would be a backwards step a little like compartmentalising myself because I felt I could only be a certain way with certain people. (I guess that's me though and more so these days. If I can't love 'em as well I used to leave 'em. )
But the concept that all vanilla tastes the same is clearly absurd; that would be like saying that I expect everyone to love the same people that i do, or that I expect everything vanilla to be reciprocated. Oh it's just screwing with my head; having terms for such complex things always does.


< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 6/6/2008 4:39:23 AM >


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RE: The Vanilla Truth - 6/6/2008 5:13:50 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Well, there ya go, I learnt something new!  So I do thank you for that.
 
I do find the whole 'vanilla all tastes the same' attitude totally misguided however.  That is akin to saying all 'BDSM tastes the same' which it isn't. (And just to pre-warn you, I am synaesthesic ).  As I said, I just see these kind of threads - which are about as repeatative as the sub Vs slave debate - very one true way and as an attempt to make something 'different'.  Everything is different, if it wasn't then snowflakes would all be the same.
 
the.dark.

 
Thank you, because I just learned something new.  I had never heard of "Synaesthesia" before just did a quick read of it on the Wikipedia.  Actually thank you again for sharing it with me.

I tend to associate and memory map things in my mind and cross reference it.  I'm not very linear at times in my thought constructions. 

Yes, these types of threads are indeed are about as repeatitive as the sub vs. slave debates.

Now, for some people (thank you leatherist) Barry Manalow might be pretty vanilla but don't say that to a Barry Manalow fan, cause you might be in for a bit of a heated debate.   Some people might even find dare I say it, "Judas Priest" to be rather vanilla.  Again don't say that to a "Judas Priest" Fan.  I believe the word "Vanilla" alone is a relative term.

Another repeating debate topic.  Difference in views according to what "being in the BDSM lifestyle" actually means.  Not everybody prescribes to it involving a D/s relationship.   BDSM with or without D/s.   Some people go so far, to proclaim unless you have a M/s TPE relationship that people are just practicing a waterdown version of "The Lifestyle" that accomdates for vanillas.    

These threads lead right into heated debates and head butting at times.

The end of my OP I wrote this for a sort of conclusion to my thoughts on it all  

"Some people are just more vanilla compared to other people.  It's a sort of relative term.   It all depends upon how much flavoring you have in your own life, and in your own world."

I tend to view things as such, as long as you practice one or more elements of BDSM in your life, on a frequent basis, it's part of your lifestyle.   Basically take every letter of what BDSM represents break it down, and do one or more of those things.  Perhaps, I've become too liberal minded about this.

I tend to view matters as such, some people are more Heavily involved in BDSM compared to others in different combinations of the BDSM letters. 

It amazes me that people in lifestyle itself will simply refer to one another as Vanilla's doing nothing but kinky sex.   A common theme when it comes to relationships not based on D/s.  

Vanilla really becomes subjective and relative to personal perspectives.

I find myself rolling my eyes, at threads posting about incorperating "Vanilla" activities into the relationship.  Such as going to the movies or dinner.  It makes me want to scream.   It's amazing how some people have this image of BDSM being a total and complete fracture from normal day to day living and life.   

To me going to the movies or dinner is just "a normal" activitity to do.   Oh wait, if I go do these things does it make me a vanilla head?  Does it somehow void me from "the lifestyle"?   What if I bring "a slave" with me out to see a movie?  Does this mean I'm being too Vanilla with her?   These lines of thinking and debates and even thread postings, just make me want to roll my eyes.

Personally, and this is for me personally.  It would bore me to death keeping a slave chained and caged in my basement 24/7, just to go downstairs use for her sex, sadistic acts, clean her up with a garden hose, feed her a dish of dog food.  And this was how day to day life was.   Boring Boring Boring!  It would get so old, it ain't funny!   Actually, It would start to feel really plain to me.  Actually it would become "Vanilla" according to one of the meaning in the dictionary.  To me that would be "Vanilla".  Boring Boring Boring.   Might be entertaining for a little while, not something I want to do every day for the rest of life.  I think anybody has tried what I just describe knows damn well, what I'm talking about.

Everybody is different, every relationship is different.  Snowflakes, I love that analogy.

However, even a snowflake has characteristics, that seperates it from being hail, rain or sleet.   

To rip off a line from Captain Kirk "We're All human, each and every single one of us"

BDSM does not mean a complete fracture from the rest of the human race.

I've recently redefined Vanilla in my book to mean anything plain.   Be it plain sex, plain relationships, plain movies, plain music...  I'm certain there are some really Plain Slave girls out there.   I'm not really into wanting to own "a vanilla slave girl"!  Boring Boring Boring....  I want somebody who's a little intelligent, and has a creative mind.   Something besides just fuckmeat alone, or live in maid service. 

Think perhaps the phase "Non lifestyler" is better choice of words to refer to people not in "the lifestyle", seems more accurate.


< Message edited by Owner4SexSlave -- 6/6/2008 5:14:49 AM >

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