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RE: Couples Without Sex - 6/6/2008 1:05:01 PM

Deliena

Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline

I was in a vanilla relationship for 10 years, I fell in love with a guy, he just wasn't kinky <shrugs> the heart wants what it wants. By the end of our relationship we hadn't had sex for four months and he was frustrated and I wasn't in love anymore. Though it was hard I walked away because I wasn't in love, not because of the relationship being vanila.

We coped with the lack of kink by me having casual play partners within limits we'd discussed and were both comfortable with. It worked pretty well for a long time.

I could cope with a relationship without sex but not one without love - that's what killed my ex and I not anything else. After all if I have an itch I can scratch it, if I'm horny - I can wank.

(in reply to MsLemon)

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Post #: 21

RE: Couples Without Sex - 6/6/2008 9:57:27 PM

hairslave

Posts: 114
Joined: 11/11/2005
Status: offline

Angelicbitch and any other gals, if a guy can’t be good to you then,… he doesn’t deserve you. Angelicbitch,... good for you, you deserve the best. If the guy can’t be good to you then by by! You are an example for other women to follow. Domestic violence in any form should never be tolerated.

_____________________________

Ture Love Is; Giving 110% with out expicting anything in return, yet,... gratfull for what little that comes back your way.

(in reply to angelicbitch)

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Post #: 22

RE: Couples Without Sex - 6/6/2008 10:15:31 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I'm not in a no bdsm relationship any more ended it when it wasn't worth the heartache to be in it any more. But it affected the relationship by always making there have to be someone else in the mix, because he refused to meet my bdsm needs, butallowed others to with in reasonable limits like no sex and no oral. The hunt for people who'd accept my limits and respect my partner frusterated and disgusted me cause there was a lot of dis honest people out there, who'd come in under the guise of being onboard with the limits then later trying to manipulate the agreement into something else.

Joseph was also insecure that I'd find someone I loved more than him and leave him, so he wasn;t to happy with me wanting other men. We had sex, but he didnt do anything to make sure it was enjoyable to me, and the main things I would of liked he didn't want to do like fingering. So eventually sex became a huge sore point, no p un intended. And I ended up resenting him, and considering, how being single would be so much more fufilling. Specially since he was a mommies boy and she ended up coming between us in a number of ways towards the last year or so of our relationship. More so in the last 6 months when I angered her for asking for 200 dollars joseph owed me, an then he wouldn't ask to come over or nothing in fear of angering her. That is when I dumped him..

How did we get into that relationship you ask? WEll he was a nice careing guy who didn't act like an ass and made me laugh and was a joy to be around, and I over looked the fact that he was a virgin, and that I wasn't at that point sexually attracted to him, knowing the attraction would grow , in time given a chance. I'd also mistakenly hoped once he got comfortable with me being kinky he'd want to join in, and do things with me and that just never really happend. He was always hoping I'd outgrow the basics of who I am/ what I enjoy.

Right now I am in a pretty much sexless relationship and it don't bother me. I have so many issues with sex and sex is such a land mind*painful angry frusterating landminds too* That I just rather not have sex, and stick to masturbation, or bdsm sexual outlets with partner. How did we end up here, in this relationship? Well sex was just repeatedly over and over disapointing and brought up a bunch of drauma for me, that I stoped being interested, and he's over worked and tired all the time and needs medication he's not able to get, so his sex drive declined, and together we're content with out much if any sex.

I see the future of our relationship prospering and going quite well if he stops his nasty little habbit of lying about things, things that really were not a big enough deal to lie about.

By the way, not every one who comes to collar me is in a bdsm less relationship or bothered by it if they are. some people come here for the social interaction and the message boards

quote:

ORIGINAL: fungasm

Rather than HiJack! another thread-

There are a lot of couples where sex either isn't possible or isn't emotionally or physically comfortable. When BDSM is added to the equation, there are many who are in relationships where one partner doesn't share the fascinations of the other.

I'd love to hear from those who are in such relationships:

-How did you get into such a relationship?

-How does the lack of sex affect you as a couple?

-How does the lack of bdsm affect you as a couple? (If you are here reading this, one would think that a lack of bdsm would affect you.)

-What do you see for the future of your relationship?