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RE: Singles Event - 6/1/2008 3:30:09 PM   
DreamyLadySnow


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Sometimes, you actually need to DO something to see if it would work, rather than put down on paper all the reasons why it wouldn't.
Go for it. Someone? Anyone?
I wish I was an organizy type and I'd do it myeslf.

LS

(in reply to everhope)
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RE: Singles Event - 6/1/2008 5:49:25 PM   
Venatrix


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Michael -

I live in San Francisco; I think the community probably would support something like this, but I'm not too keen on the "speed" part of it, maybe more of a mix 'n' mingle.  Also, I wouldn't be interested unless dominant women and submissive men were invited or had a separate get-together.  Had you thought of an age limit?  There are lots of TNG groups in the Bay Area, so I don't think having one geared to that age group only (18-35) would be necessary.  If alcohol was being served (and it damned well should be), I'd say anyone over the age of 21, or possibly, just invite those in whatever age group you think will be best served by something like this.

Edited to add:  I'm not interested in playing with someone I've just met.  Perhaps submissive women are more inclined this way, but from what I've seen on the boards, they're a pretty feisty bunch and seem more inclined to want to get to know someone for more than an hour or two before playtime.

< Message edited by Venatrix -- 6/1/2008 5:52:41 PM >

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
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RE: Singles Event - 6/1/2008 6:59:12 PM   
shellzbythesea


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quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

I think it's a great idea, but I agree with one or two of the other replies that it should be a non-play event. Just a "speed-meeting" event where you get to (actually have to) meet several people who are nominally the "type" to complement you. Making a connection should be the goal, not jumping into play.

In regard to venue, San Francisco is an obvious choice, but it should definitely work in NYC, and probably in some other large cities.


Being a single sub looking for a single Dom, I also really like the idea of a singles event.  Except that I agree with a few others...I wouldn't be interested in a singles "play party."  For me, the play will come after I meet someone and am comfortable and hopefully compatible with them.  I'd be more interested in that sort of mixer.
 
And hey...LA is a nice central area, isn't it?   ;)

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RE: Singles Event - 6/1/2008 7:18:02 PM   
SimplyMichael


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Venatrix,

If I did it in SF I would use The Citadel and probably con Stephanos into working with me on it.  He is the sort of larger than life character who can also set his ego aside to work on something that doesn't benefit him, a rare trait.  However, I have been wanting to do something in Sacramento to put us on the BDSM map and celebrate our rather restored civility in our once dysfunctional local scene. 

Considering "playing with strangers" is what Master's Den is about, there are more than enough people to pull off the play part concept but that isn't my favorite concept, the speed meeting concept is what I want to work with.  As for Fem Domme and male sub events, I could see that working as well but again, one thing at a time.  Keeping it focused increases the chances of it taking off.  If it takes off expanding it is easy and if it dies, it is a moot point.

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RE: Singles Event - 6/1/2008 7:21:37 PM   
leakylee


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I think it would be a great idea. The saturday nights are the main nights at the Wood Shed here in Orlando and there are very few single doms there then. Lots of single subs, but scarse on doms. Now last thursday was singles night, the doms were there, but not to many of us subbies. I think everyone got confused. Something like this might strighten out the odds.

lee

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RE: Singles Event - 6/1/2008 7:45:15 PM   
Venatrix


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Venatrix,

If I did it in SF I would use The Citadel and probably con Stephanos into working with me on it.  He is the sort of larger than life character who can also set his ego aside to work on something that doesn't benefit him, a rare trait.  However, I have been wanting to do something in Sacramento to put us on the BDSM map and celebrate our rather restored civility in our once dysfunctional local scene. 

Considering "playing with strangers" is what Master's Den is about, there are more than enough people to pull off the play part concept but that isn't my favorite concept, the speed meeting concept is what I want to work with.  As for Fem Domme and male sub events, I could see that working as well but again, one thing at a time.  Keeping it focused increases the chances of it taking off.  If it takes off expanding it is easy and if it dies, it is a moot point.


Yes, I had envisioned the Citadel as the setting for this, too, but they don't have an alcohol license.  If I don't have a drink in my hands, you never know where they might wind up. 

I've avoided going to Sedusa's Sanctuary nights at the Citadel (the domme/m-sub equivalent of Master's Den) simply because of the expectation of play.  And given the number of male subs with the "I want my domination and I want it now" attitude, putting them in a setting where there is the expectation of play is like giving an 18-year-old the rights to a $20 million trust fund:  probably going to make them unbearable. 

I was hoping for a singles-only munch, preferably excluding the polys (no offense intended, just not what I'm looking for at this time).  Maybe it could be for everyone and the doms could wear one of those "Hello, My Name Is" tags with a D on it, and the subs could wear one with an "s."  It's a nice little touch of humiliation, but alas the D-types would have to go along with it, too.  Or maybe we could just make the subs wear the name tags, and the people not wearing one would be assumed to be dominant.  Yeah, that would work.

--Paige

< Message edited by Venatrix -- 6/1/2008 7:47:11 PM >

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RE: Singles Event - 6/1/2008 8:16:11 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
The problem with setting up stations for people to try things is that it is a happy hunting ground for the guys running the stations and anyone new  is screwed, the point is to mix people up.  Plus, in SF most people aren't newbies even if they aren't overly social and so they don't need to be introduced to floggers or rope.

A) That's why you specifically choose who runs which stations.  Why not fabulously experienced subs who also top?

B)  If the problem isn't newbies, then why are you so worried about hooking people up?  They are adults!  In that case, just hold a mixer and let people have fun.  Stop making yourself some champion of the scene.

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RE: Singles Event - 6/1/2008 9:27:20 PM   
subtee


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No way would I go...my imagination conjures a dry cleaners in which we're spinning around in machinery only to plucked or not plucked. How would this provide a more profound "selection process" than the superficial, shallow shit that is attendant at other events? And if we were to be "selected" and rated "high," why would we feel good about that, after 7 minutes or whatever...?


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RE: Singles Event - 6/1/2008 9:48:14 PM   
RedMagic1


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I'm talking to someone who intrigues me.  If that falls through, I would love to go.

Not kidding, Michael.  Please message me with details when you've got something set up.


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RE: Singles Event - 6/1/2008 10:40:11 PM   
SimplyMichael


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
The problem with setting up stations for people to try things is that it is a happy hunting ground for the guys running the stations and anyone new  is screwed, the point is to mix people up.  Plus, in SF most people aren't newbies even if they aren't overly social and so they don't need to be introduced to floggers or rope.

A) That's why you specifically choose who runs which stations.  Why not fabulously experienced subs who also top?

B)  If the problem isn't newbies, then why are you so worried about hooking people up?  They are adults!  In that case, just hold a mixer and let people have fun.  Stop making yourself some champion of the scene.


Of all people to be whiny, I wouldn't have expect this from you LA.  I am not "worried" about hooking people up, I see a need and a potential for a cool event and was exploring the concept.  From the tone of the posts here, there certainly seems to be interest in the concept. As for making myself the champion of the scene, why on earth would you say that?  Besides, hosting a single event in SF does not exactly make a scene champion anyway.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Singles Event - 6/1/2008 10:59:35 PM   
DarkVictory


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This sounds like a wonderful idea.  Count me in, and let me know if there's interest in doing it at Edges or if support is needed with setup.

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RE: Singles Event - 6/2/2008 3:44:26 AM   
DesFIP


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It wouldn't work for me because I would need a connection to play with someone. For someone like me, who needs a friendship first, I would get rated badly simply because I can't connect that quickly. It would only work for the people who already are good at playing with random strangers.

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RE: Singles Event - 6/2/2008 7:29:47 AM   
hardbodysub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

No way would I go...my imagination conjures a dry cleaners in which we're spinning around in machinery only to plucked or not plucked. How would this provide a more profound "selection process" than the superficial, shallow shit that is attendant at other events? And if we were to be "selected" and rated "high," why would we feel good about that, after 7 minutes or whatever...?



I think some people have misinterpreted the OP in regard to rating, which I think was intended purely for the event organizer, not for public display.

Ever read of or heard of speed dating? There's no plucking, no play, just a way to meet a lot of prospective partners in an organized manner, and is somewhat less superficial and shallow because you actually have to talk with everyone, and they with you. You spend a pre-determined length of time with each of them, then everyone rotates and does it again until all the rotations are done. At other events, a crowd flocks to a few hot-looking prospects like flies to s**t, and once they're surrounded, there's no way for anyone else to break through and meet them. With the speed dating idea, at least you get a chance to talk with everyone; you might end up liking someone you wouldn't have gone out of your way to talk with.

At the end people submit a list of people that they're interested in, and get a list of people who are interested in them. If the feeling is mutual, they can exchange contact information. If you don't make any connections, at least you can't blame it on not getting to talk with anyone. Is it superficial and shallow because you don't have much time? Sure, but all meetings start out that way, and this is less so than "normal" events, in my opinion.


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RE: Singles Event - 6/2/2008 7:47:12 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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very fast reply....

A local lady tried to do a singles group for awhile.  BIG issue:  who is really "single"?  You'd think that would be self-evident....  the other issue~~getting folks to show up and mingle!   The guys wanted instant gratification, the gals wanted prescreened guys....   eventually, the old crowd were left together, knowing that we didn't want each other.  There *were* some marriages generated from the group, though.

YMMV.  I think that the more social opportunities there are, the better. 

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RE: Singles Event - 6/2/2008 8:57:32 AM   
SimplyMichael


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quote:

you might end up liking someone you wouldn't have gone out of your way to talk with.

At the end people submit a list of people that they're interested in, and get a list of people who are interested in them.


Perhaps that is the only rating system needed although I tend to just the judgement of women more than that of men but it is simple and elegant.

quote:

  A local lady tried to do a singles group for awhile.  BIG issue:  who is really "single"? 


That is why my definition is so strict, those without any partner, primary or secondary.  I realize people can argue over what a secondary is but then again, if you say "biological lesbian women only" in SF they will ask you about post op men who now have a cock and live as straight men so someone can always find an exception.

quote:

The guys wanted instant gratification, the gals wanted prescreened guys


I think what I am going to do is have people vote on pictures with no bio/statement  and a bio/statement with no photos and take those who get a fair amount of votes on both with a bit more weight put on the bio/statement. 

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 6/2/2008 9:38:15 AM >

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RE: Singles Event - 6/2/2008 9:12:48 AM   
subtee


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That's funny...and interesting. I'd like to know the results.

Why add more weight? Do you think folks will be less than completely honest about their weight? ~blink~

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RE: Singles Event - 6/2/2008 12:32:41 PM   
Madame4a


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biological women is pretty easy...  we've often used.. if you can put your cock in a drawer, you qualify..

the lesbian part, no so easy...

one thing I'd suggest, very strict definitions do have a tendency to put some off.. they do put me off, particularly women's space for example.. while I'm a dyke.. .I find all women's space fairly boring and I have various play and other partners.. one is female.. my primary lover etc, but I have a bio male partner at times.. and an F2M play partner.. its hard to sometimes sort where and when I belong and with whom...

all that said, its your gig, you can define it any way you want, without anyone's approval... just know the wider you make it, the more attendance you'll get.. I'd think

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RE: Singles Event - 6/2/2008 12:39:39 PM   
FRSguy


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If I lived in SF we would be looking for floor space...lol

Great idea Michael

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RE: Singles Event - 6/2/2008 6:29:16 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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It's cute that you think I was being whiny.

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