HieroV
Posts: 39
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
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It’s a funny thing…in a way I’ve had as much luck with a “generic” message as a directly targeted one.
I’ve been in four relationships with dominant women – met them all online even though I have attended a good number of munches and the occasional D/S event.
The first woman I ever had a relationship with I met her by responding to a personal ad in AOL’s kink bulletin board – which no longer exists. It was very melodramatic “may I kneel before you and be a part of you stable, etc…” I was sincere but I cringe at it now…I feel it is tacky and too much, too strong to interact with a stranger online that way – especially the first time, as it really has nothing to do with the person being contacted.
She loved it. We meet after three months of online interaction and were Master and slave for a little over a year. (I should say I didn’t ask for sex or anything, just admitted that I was newbie and I would do anything to learn and asked to be hers for a while.) I learned a lot – it was my first relationship and there were major issues – but I learned a lot from her…will always be grateful.
The second time I sent a generic email to a woman whose AOL screen name said she was dominant and whose profile I found to be cute and funny. It was something along the lines of… “Hi, this is who I am, this is what I am looking for, this is my level of experience, I would like to get to know you, start off as friends perhaps, etc….(I did not list my particular kinks.)
She loved it; we talked online and on the phone for a few months. We wound up being together for six years. We still talk on the phone once a week or every other week.
The third time – again another generic email – I had read her profile on a bulletin board (can’t recall which one) and said in effect – some of what you said was interesting but I really don’t know you….this is who I am, this is what I am looking for….
She was a little wary but was not insulted at all for not writing an individual letter. She said something along the lines of: “It’s like applying for a job, you share your resume, and you put your best foot forward and don’t lie to gain my trust. Also you don’t know me at all, how could you target me?” We meet a few times and started a relationship. (It was not monogamous, she had a number of men in her life and while we both enjoyed each other – I don’t think I was anything that’s special in her life.) That lasted about a year and a half.
The last time was someone I met her on CM. It was personal note. It didn’t last long but she was a lovely woman – we just couldn’t make it work.
I think it was that the woman I approached just happened to be serious about looking for a relationship and were actively looking and really working at making it happen. And most importantly they were open to actually meeting someone.
I have only had a dominant woman approach me first without me contacting her first (about a possible relationship) about ten times in my life….half of those times it was a really insulting one liner: “Show me your picture so I can see if you are worthy of Me contacting you.” I’ve had a good number of women contact me because they thought my profile was funny or had seen an essay I had written on male submission – I used to have some stuff up but I pulled it down off the web years ago – but it was for friendly chat, not a possible relationship.
The funny part is there have been times when I wrote a personal note and had women respond angrily that it was generic! Or they would say: "Ok, you quoted heavily to prove to me that you read my profile, so what?”
And there have been times when women would say kind things to me like – “My, my you are a big bundle of boy yumminess.” I have a number of positive flattering rejections in my files….women who did not want me for certain reasons yet were kind enough to give me a little praise and wish me luck. That is always lovely when it happens.
I sometimes think some of the people on this site are unrealistic. Sure, it should annoy you if you say you are a hard-core sadist and someone who is not into pain at all writes to you seeking a possible realtionship. But if your profile is only a couple of lines long, and you don’t post anything in your journal and/or the bulletin boards, how could anyone really write you a personal message?
HieroV
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