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How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 5:03:33 PM

Kalista07

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My question is, basically, how do You know when You can no longer handle things on Your own, in regard to Your emotional or mental well being?

Thanks,
Kali

NOTE{PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS IN THE WORLD DO NOT TURN THIS INTO A PRE OR ANTI MEDICATION DEBATE}.

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 5:06:06 PM

Level

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Hard question to answer, Kali..... sometimes when it gets to that point, one may not be able to see that they need help.

If someone is thinking of hurting themself, or someone else, that is an indicator. Also, if they aren't able to function normally in day to day settings.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Kalista07)

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 5:06:54 PM

Usako

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From: NYC
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Usually don't know until it's too late, and by that time I can't really tell anymore.

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 5:12:06 PM

Rule

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Go talk to a good friend or to a professional like someone from social services.

To which I add: they will of course tell one what one already knows and usually not be much help otherwise. Change has to come from within.

< Message edited by Rule -- 5/29/2008 5:21:14 PM >

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 5:13:41 PM

Irishknight

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My wife usually points it out. Otherwise I'd be smacking dumb assesleft and right.

< Message edited by Irishknight -- 5/29/2008 5:14:05 PM >

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 5:22:06 PM

MissMagnolia

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Kali my love, if the question is in your mind, the time is now. No one gives a medal to those who try to struggle through alone. If you even have an inkling that you need help, then you need it.

I know lots of people say that one should suck it up, sort out their lives and get control of themselves. If we could do that, we'd do it. Counselling, doctors, whatever you need aren't going to do it for you, but they can give you the tools and confidence to get yourself back on track.

Don't delay, if things aren't getting better, if you feel you've lost control of your life/emotions, seek out someone who can give you some help.

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if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 5:23:57 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

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i knew when i wondered if i needed help. talked to the dr, did some thinking, got some meds, took them for about a year til my brain chemistry adjusted or time healed all wounds or the earth shifted on its axis or the moon of taurus moved into the eastern sky of aries or something like that.....but it worked for me and im content again for a few years now.

good luck

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it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 5:37:42 PM

Kalista07

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i just wanted to thank You all for all of Your responses.
Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 5:43:25 PM

xxblushesxx

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From: Kentucky
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If you're sad all the time, worry all the time, or shut yourself off from family and friends.
If you don't find joy in life any more, if when you look toward tomorrow you can only see grey.
If you sleep too much or not enough, and the same with eating.
If everyday is a struggle...then it's time.

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~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 5:46:34 PM

angelikaJ

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I think most people tend to wait too long to get help.
For me it is when I just can't quite seem to get my feet under me.

There is no shame in deciding one needs help...it is not a sign of failure.

edit: typo

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 5/29/2008 5:47:44 PM >

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 5:47:27 PM

celticlord2112

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07
My question is, basically, how do You know when You can no longer handle things on Your own, in regard to Your emotional or mental well being?

When the whisky runs out, I'm in trouble.

When the beer runs out, I'm fucked.

(But as long as the sarcasm's holding steady, I'm good)

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 5:52:46 PM

servantheart

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From: Houston, TX
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I will second what Christina said and add that you are not alone, even though you may feel that way.

*HUGS*

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 5:58:56 PM

cjan

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What MissMagnolia said.

I think it's a sign of health to ask for help and the first step to healing.

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 6:05:49 PM

Kalista07

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i know You are all right in what You have written so far....i don't know what i'm looking for exactly......
Sorry,
Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to cjan)

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 6:08:48 PM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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*hugs Kali*

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 6:09:06 PM

ownedgirlie

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Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Kali my love, if the question is in your mind, the time is now. No one gives a medal to those who try to struggle through alone. If you even have an inkling that you need help, then you need it.

I know lots of people say that one should suck it up, sort out their lives and get control of themselves. If we could do that, we'd do it. Counselling, doctors, whatever you need aren't going to do it for you, but they can give you the tools and confidence to get yourself back on track.

Don't delay, if things aren't getting better, if you feel you've lost control of your life/emotions, seek out someone who can give you some help.

I completely echo this, particularly the first paragraph.

Last summer I had a complete meltdown, due to trying to handle everything on my own and totally failing at it. When I went to see my doctor about it, he asked why I waited so long. I said it was because I was trying to be strong...trying to just deal with it and suck it up. He said people tend to be foolish and think they can handle things all on their own, but eventually if someone keeps going, keeps trying to deal with it as things are compounding, eventually they break.

A good rule of thumb is, if you're not sure whether or not you need help, you most likely do. Getting help is not failing, it's taking care of yourself.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 6:24:44 PM

Hippiekinkster

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Joined: 11/20/2007
From: Liechtenstein
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan

What MissMagnolia said.

I think it's a sign of health to ask for help and the first step to healing.

Absolutely. I don't want to get into the whole thing, but I went into a spiral that ended back in the middle of January with the decision of getting on the bus or staying off the bus. I could barely rouse myself, was ready to take the ride, even started getting my affairs in order, but I stayed off the bus. Talking to folks, and putting it all out on the table, was a great help.

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"We are convinced that freedom w/o Socialism is privilege and injustice, and that Socialism w/o freedom is slavery and brutality." Bakunin

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 6:33:33 PM

Kalista07

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Joined: 7/1/2007
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Again, thanks all for Your responses....i have a question. Has anyone ever suddenly stopped working out, and if so how did You respond emotionally/ mentally?
Thanks,
Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to Hippiekinkster)

Post #: 18

RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 7:02:16 PM

cjan

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Joined: 2/21/2008
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Kali, in my experience, exercise helps a great deal in maintaining mental and emotional health. Exercise benefits us not in just the obvious ways, but in helping us to maintain self respect and a positive outlook on life. The pheremones that are released are a nice bonus too. We sleep better, work better. play and love better. It increases energy for all kinds of uses.

I've noticed a significant loss of all the above when, for various reasons, I stop getting the exercise I need. It's an important part of becoming and staying healthy.

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti

(in reply to Kalista07)

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RE: How do You know when You need help? - 5/29/2008 10:01:59 PM

Bethnai

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I am one of those people that needs to work out because it keeps me on an even keel. There was a time that I did not need to work out because I was running around 99 miles an hour. I am an island chic at heart. It is my usual mental state. Then, I found myself being really active mentally but not physically. Then I found myself doing shift work. I started to work out because I knew there was a huge drop emotionally and mentally and with shift work there is no balance. I joined a fitness club and I was rocking along and there was a huge lift. It's my favorite thing about pain in a another arena. It was my center. You could hit me with anything and I could keep on rolling.
I stopped almost 3 months ago because I started doing back to backs or quick turn arounds. Now its a question of an hour an a half of working out versus sleep plus the drive plus the get up and get ready. That gives me 2 1/2 hours sleep, maybe. I can feel the change emotionally because its a huge change physically. This means it is a huge change chemically.
For my situation, the repercussions are huge. My level of tolerance of situations and people has plummeted. My anger which has always been a motivator of change because I know how to and when to use it are gone. For me, my inability to control that aspect, that one small thing, leads to my feeling that I cannot control my life in the most basic way. So..........I stop answering emails and I stop talking to friends and I stop doing a lot of things because I don't want to represent idiotic shit that I am not about.
Me and my situation states, I am an endorphine junky (yes, I know that isn't the proper name for it anymore). For me and my situation, its all about the balance of chemicals.

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 20

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