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oh2oh -> RE: How do You know when You need help? (6/1/2008 3:51:44 PM)
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I think help is necessarily sought when you begin to hurt or your actions threaten to hurt the wel-being of either yourself or anyone else.
I personally had some serious self-esteem issues, but I was partially able to overcome it by myself. I'm still young, but as I was growing up, this was a serious issue for me, especially because many people called me "ugly" and such (especially my own mother, out of spite because I wasn't the perfect son she had wanted).
I came to believe it I heard it more and more often, when in fact it was quite rare that my physical stature was brought up, ever. But every time I heard it, the days I would think about it would feel like it was being said over and over again, as long as the words would stay seared in my head.
As I'm a bit older now, I'd like to think I've grown a tad bit mature, and with the help of some people who have complimented me on my looks (whether it be out of politeness or they were actually telling the truth and think I am quite alright), I came to accept myself more and more because I've been convincing myself that I can't change myself more than I already have, though I can make improvements, somehow.
Those days where I was called "ugly," affected me in a way that both my image AND personality were ugly. I attempted to change the way I acted dramatically as well, so that I might be able to impress others around me in hopes that I'd have evolved into a person that they would accept me for. It didn't quite work that way.
But anyway, I try not to dwell on the past...Though I still acknowledge the current flaws I maintain, I try not to mind it, or I just think about the positive remarks those nice people have said to me so I can try and outweight the negatives.
And though I may have plenty of other issues to work out, I'm pretty confident I will be able to solve them myself. But if worst came to worst, I would not hesitate to receive the help I need.
On another note, I'd like to add that I still do believe that I am, or anyone else for that matter, is defined by the people around them, regardless of what they hold themselves to, because if you're the only person who knows yourself, what good is that when no one else is around to observe your "true self?" It makes no difference.
I'm not saying that change is in order, but being who you are and how you are perceived must complement each other in order for survival.
This may not necessarily be true, or I might have worded it the wrong way, but basically I this is what I think.
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